GONE WITH THE WIND....

Or….

The Good, The Bad, and The Stupid

Dear Squirrely Girl,

I thought you might could help me with this, you seem pretty honest with people and don’t mind hurting their feelings so…please HELP! I have been dating this awesome girl for about 6 months. I really thought this was the one. She is the type of girl you want to take home to your mama. She is a good Christian girl, sweet and loving. She is pretty and has a good personality. We enjoy talking and doing things together. She had just broke up with a horrible boyfriend. He cheated on her, treated her bad and lied to her all the time.

She said she was thankful to meet a nice guy like me and I thought everything was fine, but now she says she needs to give him a second chance. So after all the good times we have had she is going back to a scumbucket??? Why? Why do good girls seem to go after bad boys? I don’t understand and not sure what to do. I know he will just break her heart again…should I be here when she needs me again? I know you will say no…but I really do love her.

Signed, The Good Boy

Dear The Good Boy (Bless Your Little Pea-Pickin’ Heart),

I hope I have never hurt anyone’s feelings…unless of course it was for their own good…then no apology necessary..but you have come to the perfect place with this question. I will try my best not to hurt your feelings but sometimes the truth is just downright brutal I must warn you. I can already tell you really are a very 'good' boy and I have some really 'good' news for you.

 Your problem is not unique. Your problem goes all the way back to one of the ultimate movies of all time “Gone With The Wind”.  Remember how Scarlett thought she was all in love with Ashley (aka scumbucket)? Sure, Ashley seemed like the “good boy” in the movie compared to the“bad boy” Rhett (aka hunk). But that was just a brilliant plot by Margaret Mitchell. Ashley (scumbucket) was ‘unattainable” …that is why Scarlett was so obsessed with him in the beginning and that.. my dear Good Boy.. is exactly where the secret lies. Everyone thinks of Rhett (aka hunk) as being the ‘bad boy’ because he was a rogue and treated her like the brazen independent smart woman she really was…but she was not obsessed with Rhett..until….wait for it….wait for it….he was ‘unattainable’ and by then…well, he frankly... just didn’t give a damn.

You see,  Ashley was the ‘bad boy’ because he was weak and needy and seriously wishy washy.  Scarlett felt like he ‘needed her’.(There’s the magic words.)  Rhett, on the other hand, was bold and unafraid. Rhett didn’t need saving and he knew Scarlett didn’t need saving either. He knew she was a strong woman and a good woman. YES...Scarlett was a good woman despite her name. Who else would help ‘birth the baby’ of the woman who took her man? Who else would make everyone work in the fields so they could eat and not put up with their constant whining, run a lumber mill, shoot an intruder and  wear green velvet curtains to seduce a man? That takes a woman who knows herself. That takes a good woman who was just a little screwed up.  Rhett saw that and he saw so much more but still Scarlett spurned him at every turn for whom? The one SHE COULD NOT HAVE and the one she thought she needed to save.

So believe it or not, a good girl choosing a ‘bad boy’ over you is actually a compliment. Trust Squirrely Girl on this one. No real woman reads or watches ‘Gone With The Wind’ and walks away in love with Ashley ‘Scumbucket’ Wilkes. No, they walk away wanting and being passionately in love with Rhett ‘Good Boy Hunk’ Butler.

Before you disagree with me, think about it. Rhett spoiled Scarlett rotten. He bought her everything she wanted, he took her to New Orleans for their honeymoon where she had the biggest tray of desserts I have EVER seen. He paid for her to fix up Tara and then bought her a mansion in Atlanta. And what did Scarlett do? She longed for ‘poor Ashley’. She decided being his “savior” was more important than enjoying a relationship with her equal. I wish I could explain why girls do this but I think it may have something to do with W, X, Y and Z chromosomes or something like that, I don’t do biology, but I am sure there is some scientific reason. The fact is …Scarlett grows up at the end of the movie. A little late…maybe…but when she becomes a real woman she is no longer attracted to the ‘bad boy’…she wants a real “GOOD MAN”.

I know it all seems really stupid and makes no sense whatsoever. Well, as a woman I can tell you, nothing we do ever will. The sooner you accept that little reality the better off you will be altogether. But promise me that you will hold out for the good girl who grows up to be a real woman who wants a Good Man like you. And I promise you…it will be worth the wait!

Signed ~ Squirrely Girl