IT IS WHAT IT IS

It is what it is...

Or…It is the perfect chocolate cake…

I will come right out and admit it.  I have said ‘it is what it is’ on more than one occasion lately.  I have also sang--at the top of my lungs in true Doris Day fashion and to the dismay and protest of many co-workers, “Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be."   ~redneck pronunciation: Kay- so- rah- so- rah~ (not to be confused with the cheer…rah rah ree kick ‘em in the knee) I love that song and the saying... but it doesn't make either one right.

We have a hundred little sayings (just sayin’) that we rattle off because they sound a little bit witty and because we assume most folks know what we are talking about and appreciate the humor. But the last time I said, “It is what it is.” I had an uncomfortable feeling right smack dab in the pit of my stomach. Some people would call that your conscience, some say it is a little devil and a little angel having a big old throw down on your shoulder and some say you are insane 'cause you are talking to yourself and you need to be committed asap (can't even imagine who they would be talkin' about). But experience through the years has taught me that when I get that twisty, crazy, ‘bout to throw up any second feeling in my gut, it usually means I need to “check myself before I wreck myself.” 

“It is what it is”.  What does that mean exactly? Does it mean that we just memorized a portion of the Serenity Prayer -- “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…Amen...The End?  Does it mean we have finally reached that point where we think no matter what we do nothing is going to change and we've stopped asking for courage to change the things we can or even pray for the wisdom to know the difference?  Does it mean we have simply give up? After all…’it is what it is’ right? Trying to change it is just way yonder too much trouble and will require more energy than we can really muster.

I understand that, I really do. Hey, I love nothing better than to have my scorching conscience and convictions soothed by a nice, cool, double helping of excuses to explain how I am just accepting God’s will or that this is  just a lesson I needed to learn and eventually karma will come around and sting somebody in the beehind and I will see justice done and feel so much better in the sweet by and by.  It is what it is, right?  Because I am lazy and don’t want to work that hard or have to admit I might have some responsibility for the problem. It is so much easier just to throw up my hands and say, “whatever will be will be”, but deep down I know better.

Of course it is what it is if you stand on the sideline and just let nature take its course, if you are willing to just let life happen to you instead of living life, then you are guaranteed it will be whatever someone else decides it will be. The tide ebbs and flows, the storms bring rain and wind, the sun shines and the darkness falls. And YOU have no control. That will certainly make things a lot simpler when you don’t have to do anything.  It is what it is— and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. How uncomplicated and convenient is that?

Is this really how we were meant to live or how we want to live? A place where every decision good or bad is made for us by some phantom “it”? I certainly know the God I worship would not be pleased with “it”. He gave us free will and a brain to think for ourselves and decide our own destiny and he gave us a heart to warn us with that ‘twisty, crazy, ‘bout to throw up feeling right smack dab in the pit of our stomach' to tell us when something is just not right.

Stop!!! Right here!!! ~Man..I wish I was technically savvy enough to cut and paste a stop sign right here…how cool would that be???~    (Okay…focus Squirrely Girl…focus…)

BUT SERIOUSLY...STOP!!…and think about that for a second or two..maybe three.

 God created us and loves us and cares about each of us so much He would say, “Make up your own mind. I gave you all you need. I gave you not only the intelligence but the free will to be the captain of your own ship. What you do today and tomorrow is completely up to you, I trust my creation because.—well--I am God. I created man in my own image and I said, IT IS GOOD….not…"IT IS WHAT IT IS”.

And what do we do? We say, “Oh well..that is fine for everybody but me...for me..well..it is what it is.”  Like we were all just thrown in the mixing bowl with the eggs, flour, milk and…(forgive me…when I start talking about eggs and flour it immediately makes me think of Chocolate Cake) anyway…WE are NOT just thrown together, it is not a mishap or an accident that you are here or that I am here. We are part of a perfect recipe.

You have a purpose and a meaning. You are important and what you can give to this world is unique and indispensable. You are needed, you are wanted, you are the intricate color that makes the canvass come to life. It might be just a smile or a kind word. It might even be a strong word to the right person when they need it. But you are not a coincidence or here by chance. You are everything that surrounds you every single day. You are your mother’s smile or your daddy’s strength, your sister’s shoulder or brother’s strong arm, your grandparent’s history and future, your soul mate's soft place to fall, your child's safe harbor, your aunt and uncles’ pride and joy, your cousin’s confidant or the rock for your best friend.  You are an inspiration to each life you touch, in good times and in bad. You are super duper schmancy fancy smarty pants incredible!   You are the perfect chocolate cake because you have all the ingredients you need inside of you right now. You get to decide what ‘IT IS’…every morning, noon and night.  So make what it is …AWESOME!

Love and safety through the storm…

~Squirrely Girl

THERE"S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

There’s No Place Like Home…

....Except maybe a Bass Pro Shop

Yesterday I was asked to do an interview with a local T.V. station about the issue of homelessness in our local area. Since that’s what I do for a living, it seemed like the right thing to do. Although…there was no notice and I did not have time to put on my camouflage make-up to hide the wrinkles, my blackest outfit to hide the bulges or my:

handy dandy all purpose curling/flat/straight/fluffy/smooth/shiny/no frizz hair styling products and tools. But the lady was real nice. She said all you have to do is talk. Talk? Oh…I can talk..bring it on.. I got this. I  don’t have a clue what I said. Apparently I compared my agency to a Bass Pro Shop and you just know somebody somewhere out there in T.V. Land..said ...“Honey, did she just say Bass Pro Shop? Rewind that…let’s send them some money.” I speak fluent redneck.

Now--I told you all that to tell you this--I did not say all that I really wanted to say because my hair was frizzy and I looked bloated and there is no way to concentrate under that sort of pressure. But I had a lot of good stuff rattling around in my brain so I will just say it here.

I work with the homeless or those who are at risk of being homeless. Depending on where you live, that can conjure up a lot of pictures in your mind. I grew up thinking homeless meant that for whatever reason ( you are probably a drunk)… you end up on the street panhandling and sleeping in a cardboard box. That does happen, even in our rural area. But now that I have grown up (debatable) I understand that there are many reasons why someone might be drunk panhandling on the street and sleeping in a cardboard box. Homelessness has a very new face today... a very young face, sometimes as young as one day old. Most of my clients are families. These are families who have worked most of their lives. Parents who have never asked for assistance of any kind and they don't know even know where to begin. Normal folks just like me (questionable) and you. Going along with their lives, making ends meet, doing the best they know how and then—something happens.

Sometimes the car breaks down on the way to work and they don’t have the money to fix the car so now they can’t go to work to make the money to fix the car…Catch 22. Or someone gets sick and with or without insurance the income is gone or cut in half and the medical expenses add up. Medical expenses are more than just paying the doctor or hospital. You need gas to go to a doctor. In a rural area with gas pushing $4 a gallon, driving 200 miles round trip to see a specialist adds up fast. Co-pays add up fast, two weeks of no work and extra expenses add up fast and any one of those things can be the domino that forces all the others to fall on their face. Before you know it you are one month behind on rent plus late charges, late on the electric and just putting food on the table is a struggle. This is how many cases of family homelessness begin. And yes, sometimes there are just bad decisions or issues of drug and alcohol abuse, domestic abuse, and mental health. But you know what? The children in those families can’t help that. The reasons have to be addressed if we are to truly help them succeed, but discriminating between how someone became homeless doesn’t help a thing.

The nice lady from the news station told me that people have said to her, “The more programs you have for the homeless, the more homeless people you will have.”  And I had someone recently say to me, “Well, if you are going to be too lazy to work and want a free ride, what better place to be homeless than down here on the beach.”  Remarkably, that person walked away with no bones broken and face still intact. It makes me madder than a wet settin’ hen when people sit in their ivory towers and judge someone they don’t even know. I have been called a liberal and a socialist and a few other things I can’t say on a public blog well.... sticks and stones may break my bones but stupid people don’t bother me.  I believe we are our brother’s keeper and we should help everyone whether they deserve it or not. What they do with that help is between them and God. I am not held accountable for what they do, but I will be held accountable for what I do not do. I am commanded to love my neighbor as myself and “myself” does not want my children sleeping in a car or in a tent or in a house with no running water or electricity. Do you know two words you should never hear together? Homeless and children. The bible has a lot to say about that if we can read past all the popular sins people seem obsessed with discussing.

But I digress…again. I promise you I did not just burst out into a Bass Pro Shop commercial during the interview (of course that is never entirely out of the question). I use the Bass Pro Shop analogy because:

1. I am bored with the ‘give a man a fish vs. teach a man to fish’ saying.

2. It really is my philosophy. I know that you can feed, clothe and shelter anyone for a little while. It will comfort but it will not heal. 

I believe we do people an injustice if we let them take something for nothing. It is out of respect for our clients as fellow human beings that we hold them accountable not because we are punishing them for being unlucky or even irresponsible but because they deserve the opportunity to be self-sufficient.

Daddy Frank would always make me keep some money in my shoe and later in my purse or somewhere. He said you always need a little bit ‘cash on you just in case of an emergency. He would always make sure I had that ‘little bit ‘o cash. When I moved away from home and had a family of my own he said, “I hope you still have that emergency money, but just remember if you ever have to use it for an emergency, Daddy Frank may not be around to replace it for you, you need to depend on yourself now." He called it “breaking our plates”.  It was an expression of how much he loved us. He didn’t want us to be dependent on him because he knew that was not the best thing for us. We don’t help the homeless be more comfortable at being homeless but we do welcome them into the store and help them pick out the best rods and reels and lures and some good sturdy fishing line and maybe even a fishing lesson or two so they will be prepared to go out and catch the proverbial fish.

And that..was what I really wanted to say. And just let me add…the hair looks MUCH better today than yesterday…the bloating…eh..not so much.

This is a link to one person's story of hope and overcoming barriers.

http://www.wmbb.com/story/19335222/the-changing-face-of-homelessness-part-2

For more information about homelessness visit our website. You will find links there to other agencies throughout the country. 

www.okaloosawaltonhomeless.org

Dear God....I HATE CANCER

Dear God..

Several friends ask me to repost this here in the Dear Squirrely Girl blog.

On April 17th 1995, my son Adam relapsed with ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia)..we were in for a very long road… I found this entry from my journal at Sacred Heart Children’s Hospital..

May 14th 1995

GOD, I hate cancer…I hate the sound, the look, the pain, the tears, the worry, the waiting, the fear, the drugs, the paperwork, the bills, the needles, the IV pumps, the beep of the IV pumps when the nurses don’t come, the sound of the buzzer for the nurses, the chemo, the radiation, fluorescent lights, hospital rooms, waiting rooms ,Dr.’s offices, Dr’s sad faces, the cleaning lady, the coke and candy machines that always seems to need $1.00 when I only have 75 cents… GOD …I hate cancer…

But…

GOD, I love You …I love the sound of Adams’ voice, the look of hope on his face even through the pain and tears, I love my family and friends and their prayers, the patience we gain each day, and the fear we are slowly learning to overcome. God, I love the drugs that you gave someone the knowledge and determination to discover, and the needles and IV’s that carry them through his body, I love the IV pump that goes off when he needs attention, I love this buzzer I can hold in my hand so the nurses can know when we need them, and the electricity that keeps them beeping and buzzing… I love whoever created radiation, I love the lady in admitting who sweetly and gently hands me the pen to sign all the paperwork, knowing I probably cannot make good on the promise to pay anytime soon, I love Dr. Jenkins and how gentle he is while giving even the most horrific news, (I can almost see his heart breaking when he talks to us. God be with him each day) .. I love the cleaning lady who always has a smile even when I am crabby because I haven’t had any sleep all night and she needed to turn on the light... but then she fluffs my pillow on the back of my chair and says “try to get some sleep yourself, little mama” because she understands that a kind word…and a clean floor can do as much good as any drug sometimes…God, help me to remember to say “thank you” to her….And, you know what God?? I even love that old coke and candy machine that says I still need a quarter to make my dreams of a Payday bar and a Dr. Pepper come true…..God, I hate cancer….but I love You more.

If you or someone you love is battling cancer right now, my prayers are with you!

~Squirrely Girl

Sin, Sin and More Sin

Sin Is As Sin Does... Or...

Squirrely Girl....Are you crazy or what???

 (I copied and pasted this letter exactly as it came to me because it was from the heart of a younger person and I truly appreciate the question and the sincerity.)

Dear Squirrely Girl,

I think your squirrels are funny and I like you o.k but I don’t know sometimes about your facebook stuff. Sometimes I think you are a good and Christian person and then you post thinks about liking gays or supporting sinners and I just don’t know. Caan you be really good and really bad at the same time? And why do you think sin is allright? If you say sin is allright  that is just like sinning to ain't it?  Have a good day and thank you, you make me laugh some time. 

Signed ~ Just wandering

Dear Just Wandering and Wondering (sometimes they really are the same thing)

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your letter and your honesty. First I would like to say that your sweet disposition in asking the question touched my heart immediately. I know you are sincere because you started out with a compliment to keep me from going into a “Squirrely Girl Fit” (and we know those are never pretty) and then you were just completely honest about how I might have confused you with my rants and raves.

That is rare, very rare actually (not my rants and raves….your honesty) and for your age (I never give those details out, I promise) it is also very refreshing and authentic. You are coming from a pure place of seeking knowledge with an open mind to listen and make up your own mind. You might not believe how unique that really is but trust me on this one. Most of us make up our mind about everything and then close it up, never to be opened again. That is where learning stops and bigotry and hatred can set in for anyone who disagrees with us and that is a very bad place to be. Now, I will try to actually answer your questions.

 Sin is a strange thing. Not strange like “uncommon”, but strange like “everyone has an opinion about it”. The bible says there is no degree of sin. Sin is sin. I actually found one website that list 667 sins in the bible (http://www.scribd.com/doc/14087682/667-Sins-in-the-Holy-Bible )  Yep, I thought the same thing “One sin more than 666?”  I am not sure if that number is exact but they do list verses to support each one, so we can check them all out.

 Let’s start with sin number 667, “Younger not submitting to the elder”- I Peter 5:5. According to that, you are sinning by even writing this letter at your young age and questioning my opinion because I am definitely your elder. lol  But you have good common sense, you know that questioning someone older than you is not the same thing as being disrespectful. Actually... that whole verse says this, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” I am sort of partial to the King James Version, not that I don’t use different translations to study the bible, but we need to be careful about “translating” to fit our need or our agenda.

No matter how you read this passage, if you read the ENTIRE verse, the true meaning should come through quite clearly.  It is very simple. ~Listen to people who are wise, through age or experience, listen to each other and respect each other, be humble enough to admit you do not know it all because God can’t work with you or through if you are full of pride and think you can do no wrong. He gives grace to those who are willing to give grace to others. ~ (That is Squirrely Girl’s interpretation only…subject to correction as needed.)

When you hear people just pick out one sin, like homosexuality, out of all the sins in the bible and act like that sin is above all others, do you think they are being humble? When we think one sin is different from another sin, just because it is not “our sin” and take one portion of scripture and leave out the rest-- isn’t that like trying to speak for God or play God? I think He does a good job of speaking for Himself if we just listen.

I do support sinners! There I said it. And I am not going to give you the worn out and overused, “I love the sinner but hate the sin”…if you hear that saying… you have this elder’s permission to tell them it is bull crap! You either love the sinner or you do not. You are not agreeing with the sin-- you are-- loving the person, without giving them your opinion about the degree of their sin. If we truly hate all SIN..well…let’s face it…we have at least 666 to study up on to make sure we are “hating” them all enough. Most of them we commit on a daily basis.  So how would we feel if everyday someone walked up to us and said publicly, “Hey I love you but I hate the way you do all the following things and I gotta tell you how bad I hate them..but I love you man, I really do"  (to name just a few between 650-666)---

CONFORMING TO THIS WORLD
FORSAKING GOD’S CALLING FOR THIS WORLD
FRIENDSHIP OF THE WORLD
GETTING ENTANGLED WITH THE AFFAIRS OF THIS LIFE
LIVING FOR YOURSELF
LOVING THIS WORLD LOVING YOUR LIFE
MIND OR THOUGHTS ON THIS WORLD
SERVING EARTHLY THINGS
SPEAKING OF THE WORLD
SORROW OF THE WORLD
WORLDLY AMBITION
WORLDLY MINDED
BEING WORRIED
LETTING THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR WRATH.
 (Yep..those are all sins..and the link has bible to back it up.)

Wow....I know I have committed at least a couple of those already today, so if people want to protest against all of my sins publicly they will have to do more than go eat a chicken sandwich at Chick- fil- a --they will need to go to one of those big ‘ol “all you can eat buffets”!!  I do support sinners because I too am a sinner and I need love and prayer and I need to be reminded who forgives sin and how very much He loves me and that there is hope. I do not need people reminding me that I am not measuring up to the few verses of the bible they have selected. When I feel the need to point out others people’s sin and correct them, I think about how long it will take for me to get the log out of my own eye so I can see their sins more clearly.

Now…“Can you be really good and be really bad at the same time?”  What a great question-- wish I had the perfect answer for you on that one but I do not. I think as humans we are a little bit good and a little bit bad at the same time …all the time. Where we get confused is what is good and what is bad. When we set up standards by man’s judgment we will never win because we will be depending on our own perfection and I don’t know about you but I haven’t met a perfect person yet. So I try not to worry about what sin someone else is committing or how bad that sin is and just concentrate on trying to do the one thing I know will never be wrong or bad and what is always good…ALWAYS…and that is to love others. If that makes me supportive of sinners, if it makes me bad and good at the same time…then I guess I am guilty as charged and hope I continue to be.

But let me tell you what I learned from you today. I learned that everyone does not see things the same way that I do and sometimes I assume that they do. I think that is wrong and I am glad you pointed that out to me. What one calls a tater, another calls a french fry-- but sometimes they are talking about the same thing. I need reminding of that quite often. So you keep wondering and wandering until you get all the answers you want and need. It will serve you and others well. Thank you for writing!

Most Sincerely,

~Squirrely Girl

Living In The Country

Living In The Country…..Or..

The proper way to give directions….

I grew up in the country, you know where you have to “go to town” to buy groceries. Where there is no such thing as pizza delivery or running to the store for a gallon of milk. You stock up when you go to the grocery store; there is no ‘quick run’ to anywhere, unless it is to Uncle Junior’s to borrow a cup of sugar or a pint of buttermilk. I love it out here. It is quiet, most of the time. If someone drives up in your yard and the dog don’t kill them first, they are probably a relative or close neighbor or lost. But more than likely they do not mean you any harm. However, if they are lost and ask me for directions…they are in pretty big trouble. One of the disadvantages of growing up on dirt roads without signs is that we do not give directions like everyone else. If you throw in my handicap of being directionally challenged, that equals instructions like this:

“Well, you go up right up here pass Padgett Farms (well it used to be Padgett Farms, but they sold it and now they are going to plant some grapes there that I hear will be used to make wine, some people think you should not drink wine, but I think it is okay because Jesus did turn the water into wine as His first miracle and if it is good enough for Jesus it is good enough for me) until you come to the fork in the road. It looks like a 3 way stop where one road veers off to the left and one veers off to the right (don’t none of us ever actually “stop”) but we call it a fork in the road. Come to think of it, I don’t know why we call it that because most “forks” have four tines except for those fancy schmancy shrimp forks that only have three so maybe we should call it ‘the shrimp fork in the road”….hey…you know where you can get some really good fresh shrimp? Down at Nick’s on Hwy. 20. But that is the other direction from where you are going so…you go up thata way pass what was once Padgett Farm….let me tell you…they used to grow the best maters you ever tasted and watermelons…. good Lawd them was some good watermelons and maters. Do you like watermelons and maters? Oh well, as I was saying, once you get to the fork, or shrimp fork in the road…you know…we really should call it the Y, because it really is more like a Y…one road veers to the left and the other veers to the right and what you wanna do is veer to the right…(hold on…let me look at which hand my wedding ring is on, that is how I know left from right for sure..oh heck…I took my wedding ring off to wash the dishes…hold on…let me go get it before I forget about it..be right back) …I don’t normally wash dishes by hand much anymore since I got one of those new fancy schmancy dishwashers, but I catch myself washing the dishes before I put them in there, which really makes no sense at all don’t you agree?  Okay, as I was saying you will veer off to the right and go ..oh bout ½ a mile or so. You will pass by where the old dump used to be…. man I wish they had not done away with that dump, now we have to take our garbage off four or five miles away…do you know how inconvenient that is? Anyway you go over that hill just past where the old dump used to be and then a stop sign will just sneak up on you so be very careful. That will bring you to the highway that takes you to Geneva if you turn…hold on…right..and to Defuniak if you go left. Well, it will not take you directly to Geneva or DeFuniak but it will take you close by there and you can stop and ask directions at any of those houses, they are all just the nicest people you will ever want to meet.  What you should really do is turn around the way you came and go back to Hwy 20 and eat some shrimp at Nick’s. Did I tell you they have the best dadgum seafood around? It is right on the bay and they have shrimp and crab and scallops and hush puppies and all kinds of stuff...Hey…where you going…wait…I wasn’t finished giving you directions….”

The moral of this story is this: If you are traveling up my way and think you may get lost. You better get you one of those fancy schmancy GPS/talkin’ smarty pants phones and just go right on past my house.

Signed,

~~Squirrely Girl

Idiots On The Plane

Idiots On A Plane...Or....

Continued Adventures of Flying Squirrely Girl 

Update: You should really read "All My Bags Are Packed, I 'm Ready To Go" before this to get the full impact of this little story. Only then will you understand the enormous amount of 'crazy' in my little life.

First off let me say this, I shouldn’t “drive” anywhere by myself much less “fly” anywhere by myself. I think I provided enough examples of that in Part I of this series. I should actually never be left alone with sharp objects or anything with movable parts at any time. I have the propensity to attract dangerous and abnormal events no matter where I am, even my own backyard where I once got bit by something the Hub said was an itsy bitsy bloodsucking black bug, the ER said was a ground hornet and a doctor later confirmed was a snake bite.(Yes, you may read that sentence again to make sure you really read what you think you read.) 

I also tripped over a puppy on some wood steps once and got a cut on my leg that ended up with gangrene/streptococcus/flu-like symptoms with overtones of a broke shin and second degree burns AND once broke my foot sitting at my desk.  So I am no stranger to the “freaky and unusual”. But to intentionally take a flight alone with more than one stop is inviting disaster of some sort and this trip was no exception.

Somehow I overcame my embarrassment of not having a valid ID, sitting in the wrong seat and stealing someone’s seat belt and finally made it to Atlanta. Then after nearly missing the flight because I took the Tram/Train thingy the wrong direction the first time, I made it on the “big” plane from Atlanta to Minneapolis, MN with one second to spare.  Before I barely had time to pat myself on the back, I hear the most God awful noise I have ever heard in my life. It was a cross between grinding metal and a motorcycle race. I have never heard a noise quite like it  much less on a big ‘ol airplane.  I waited for a few seconds and then I turned to the lady beside me and said, “Do you hear that?  You do hear that, right?”  She just sort of shrugged and kept reading her book that looked like an encyclopedia. (I was hoping it was the 'A' edition for AIRPLANE CRASH RESCUES)

At first I thought maybe the engines were just getting warmed up or were too warm from waiting on me, but the noise just got louder and shriller and the grinding sound was just overwhelming. So I looked behind me and said, “Have you guys ever heard anything like that on an airplane before?”  They sort of shook their heads and I could see a glimpse of concern, but still not the reaction I expected and was about to demand.  The plane started backing out and the noise just got louder. I rose up in my seat and looked around and NOBODY was doing anything, nothing, zilch, notta, not a thing.  Final Destination 1,2, 3, 4 and 5 was running through my head and a little Snakes on a Plane combined with every Airport movie made.  This was more like “Idiots on a Plane”.  So of course I could not contain myself and said rather loudly. “Am I the only person who hears this? What is wrong with you people?”  (What I really wanted to say was, “Everybody get off this plane! It is about to blow up!)  But I am not crazy you know.

The plane just kept taxiing down the runway, whirling and twirling and grinding and moaning. Everybody started fidgeting a bit but nobody said a word….except…me.  I couldn’t help myself and said, “Miss…oh Miss…yes, you Miss Flight Attendant, doesn’t something sound a tad bit amiss to you?”  Before she could answer the pilot came over the loud speaker and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing a “small” mechanical problem and we will update you as soon as possible.”   ~Huge sigh of relief~ 

Hey, I can hear a spark plug ping before it goes out, just ask my Hub. I don’t even know where a spark plug goes or really what one looks like, but I will hear a funny noise and sure enough that is what it will be. Some people play music by ear, that can’t read a single note but they know when it is right or when it is wrong. I am a mechanic by ear. I may not know ‘what’ is wrong, but I sure know when I hear something that is not right. I usually just say it is the ‘universal joint’ because that seems to cover just about everything. But, I digress.

I looked around at all the people who had been staring at me and gave them a smug little smile, then the pilot came back over the air and said this:  “Ladies and Gentlemen, we had a small problem with one of the engines but we are just going to not use that one so we will now be on our way.”

 WHAAAAAATTTTT???   Was it a spare engine? How many engines do you have? Do you have so many you can just ignore one? And if that one sounded that bad and you didn’t know it, what about the remaining engine or engines?  (I had a LOT of questions.) No one but me seemed concerned. “Ahhh, it was just an engine, blondie…now sit down and shut up.”   Whaaaaaattttt???  They do realize that we just heard the engine about to explode but apparently the PILOT did not hear it because he continued to taxi down the runway, right??? Are we gonna trust him from Atlanta to Minneapolis?  Apparently we are, because off we go into the wild blue yonder. Spitting, spurting, whirling, twirling, grinding, moaning, groaning, no good engine and all! I just bowed my head and said a little prayer. “Dear Lord, I know I am not the brightest bulb on the tree, but I know a spitting, spurting, whirling, twirling, grinding, moaning, groaning, no good engine when I hear one and I just pray that however many other engines (if any) are left on this airplane will hold out to get this Meme to her grand babies. Amen”

The poor flight attendant, feeling a little sorry for me, said, “Ma’am could I get you something to drink?” I said, “Well...if you have some liquid valium and a horse tranquilizer, that would be perfect, thank you.”

I am pretty sure they flagged me as either a potential terrorist, a crazy loon, or at the very least… an “unaccompanied person”.  

Signed, Still Hanging In There

~Squirrely Girl

All My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready To Go

“All My Bags Are Packed I’m Ready To Go….”

Or…. NEVER leave me on my own…NEVER…

Millions of people get on airplanes every single day and fly all over the world, so obviously it is not a hard or impossible thing to do. Some people put their kids or other loved ones that need assistance on planes all by themselves without any worries and they call it “Unaccompanied Persons” without adult supervision.  Just for future reference, I should now and forever be considered an “Unaccompanied Person.”

I hate airplanes. The only thing that gets me on an airplane is when what I desire is greater than my hate and fear of airplanes. Like a sick family member, my grandkids, or a fun trip to Paris with my BFF’s.  So I find myself on airplanes and there is nothing I can do about that but gripe. So now I will gripe and that is your cue to leave this blog or stay around for the fun.  The following are a few “notes” from my flight from Ft. Walton Beach, Florida to Minot, North Dakota to see my Grands and join the Hub for a little music on the road.

July 25, 2012:

Thanks to my good friend, I got to the airport in plenty of time to have a smooth check in and boarding.  She accomplished this by doing what all my friends and family do…telling me I have to be there one hour before I actually have to be there. It normally works, depending on how many times they do it in a row,  then I catch on and they have to change it in increments of 15 minutes to keep me on my toes. (Hey, I never said it was easy being my friend or relative.)  So my dear friend drives off secure in the knowledge that not even “I” could mess this up. ( ~heavy sigh~  that’s what they always think.) But I bounce up to the counter all chipper and confident, check my bag, take my time slowly to the security line and then….the following conversation begins.

Security Person: (hereafter known as SP) Good afternoon Ma’am, I need your ID and boarding pass.

Me: Here you go right here. I am 30 minutes early you know.

SP: Yes, I see, but ..uh... Ma’am…we have a problem.

Me: Really? ( feeling a little like Houston)

SP: You just handed me your luggage receipt, not your boarding pass.

Me: Oh, no problem, here is everything they handed me…you go through it and find what you need.

(And there it was as I breathed a sigh of relief)

SP: “Ma’am we still have a problem, your license is expired.”

Me: (nervous laughter) It’s okay, I renewed my license online, there is a sticky thingy on the back.

 SP: Ma’am there is nothing on the back, I can see where something might have been there, but there is nothing there and you cannot board the plane without a valid ID.

Me: (Triple Long Heavy Nervous Sigh) Well, look at the picture, see that really bad hair day? Just like the one I am having today? You can see it is me, can’t you? Who would pretend to be this woman with the horrible hair in this picture? Who? Who? Who , I ask you WHO? 

SP: Well, Ma’am you must have a valid ID or you cannot get on the plane but you are right the hair does look the same.

Me: (~thinking~ Well, you can kiss my bad hair day butt~ ) …Well, I have my passport, will that work?

SP: Yes Ma’am that will be fine. I was worried you were not going to make your flight. You really should get that thing with your license straightened out though.

Me:( ~thinking~ and you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut about my bad hair days) Thank you so much I will check on that first thing, I promise.

And so the story should end there…but….noooooooo

I get on the plane and in my little seat and start praying as normal when I hear this:

Passenger 1:  But my seat is 5A.

Passenger 2: Well, that is seat 5A right there. (pointing at me)

Me:  I am in seat 6A ‘cause that is what my ticket says …see right here… 6A.

Passenger 3: “Ma’am you are in seat 5A ..that is seat 6A behind you.

Me:  Well, excuuuussse me. I never ask to get on this flight as an “Unaccompanied Person” to begin with.”  (Quietly and meekly getting up and switching seats)

Passenger 4: (the really nice gentlemen now sitting beside me): Ma’am, I think you have my seatbelt.

Me: “Well FINE then…just be that way. I’ll just crash and die.” 

Passenger 4: (laughing) It’s okay honey, we all have those days.”

Me:  ~sniffling~  “Thank you Sir, you are so kind. Hey, would you be my adult supervision?”

All that before I even got off the ground. And people wonder why I don’t like to fly.

Stay tuned for Part 2....."Am I The ONLY person that hears that?" .....or..."PEOPLE!!!! There Is Something Seriously Wrong With This PLANE!"

Signed A little scared,

~Squirrely Girl

Chicken, Lions and Jokers

Chicken, Lions, and Jokers …

Or…..Stuck somewhere in the middle…

What a week. We don’t turn on the news to necessarily be “cheered up”. But some weeks are just worse than others. This past week has been unusually bad. Innocent lives lost in a horrible and senseless tragedy when all they did was go to see a movie. Children, mothers, brothers, sisters, soldiers… all gone in one act of madness and evil that left us all a little numb. I think we all agreed it was horrible. But the news barely broke before the fighting began. The “Don’t Touch My Freakin’ Guns” vs. “All Guns Are Bad” debate was fast and furious. Before the bodies were removed from the theater, the Facebook pics and status updates were being posted like an old fashion night at a drag strip.  Everything from “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” to “I wish access to mental health was as easy as access to guns”.   Although, I think most of us fell somewhere in the middle.

Most of us believe there should be some regulations on who can buy guns and what kind of guns they can buy. Almost all my responsible gun loving friends say they have no problem with a ban on assault weapons, they say they have no need of anything capable of shooting 100 rounds at one time or 6000 rounds of ammo and admit if the crazed gunmen had needed to reload, there might have been a chance of someone to take him down before he did so much damage. And my anti-gun friends say they don’t think a ban on all guns would work anyway. The voice of common sense is drowned by a few who think it must be one way or the other. And maybe we shouldn’t have a speed limit, because it will take away our freedom to feel the “need for speed”. Too much freedom may not be all it is cut out to be.

Then Chick-fil-A said it didn’t like gay people. Well, they said something like that. Apparently, they felt the need as a restaurant to share their religious beliefs with the whole world. Not sure what that has to do with a chicken sandwich, but they certainly have a right to do that. This is America and there is absolutely nothing that says a private business cannot state their religious beliefs. But the reactions have been confusing. It is okay to agree with them, or disagree with them, but do we really need to have a “Chick Fil A Appreciation Day” to support them or a “Same Sex Kiss Day” to protest them?  God knows how you feel if you agree with them, he doesn’t need you to eat a chicken sandwich to prove that and if you support your gay friends they don’t need you kissin’ on each other either. No matter what your belief, maybe both sides should agree that we should just love everybody. It is like we are in some sort of competition to see who can make who the maddest. While that might be human, it certainly isn’t Christian. And aren’t we supposed to be setting the standard of brotherly love? However, I would like to see a few other restaurants make a statement that they don't like gossip, adultery, lying, greed and gluttony. I might have to actually at least throw a Ninja Squirrel party there.

And last but not least, the statue of Joe Paterno finally came down. I have to be very careful here, because I am going to be completely honest. When it comes to what happened at the Home of the Litany Lions, I lose my religion a little. Actually, I lose my religion a lot. I found myself cheering and I don’t mean just saying “hurrah” I mean like getting out my old pom poms, jumping up and down trying to do a Chinese split again (Dr.’s appointment tomorrow). Thinking about those who would put a sport ahead of the lives of innocent children jacks my jaw and burns my cheeks (as the Gator would say).  I think it is one of the most disgusting things to happen in the history of our country. Yes, even worse than the mad gunman. He is obviously a sick human being. We may never understand what goes on in one psychopath’s brain, but this was a group of educated men. 

These were men who parents entrusted the well-being of their most precious possession. And they conspired and they ignored and they put selfishness, power, pride and a football record ahead of all decency. It is hard to feel charity and forgiveness for that sort of offense. I have to remember that God said he loved the “whole” world, even those who seem despicable to me. The bible says we are all like “filthy rags” but I can’t help it, some of the rags just look a lot dirtier to me than others. So I am guilty, guilty of thinking I can know what is and what is not justice. God’s justice is not mine and that is probably very lucky for me. My prayer is that we all find a way to stop being “all or nothing”.  When we are debating--and I think we should—let’s listen as much as we talk. Maybe being stuck in the middle on some things is not the worst place to be.

IMHO ~ Squirrely Girl

I Don't Need Nothing or Nobody

I DON”T NEED NOTHING OR NOBODY..

Or….It’s Shake ‘n Bake…and I Helped….

My favorite commercial of all times has to be Shake ‘n Bake where the little girl says, “And I helped” with the most southern slang slow drawl that I have ever heard, and I am a pretty southern slang slow drawl talkin’ gal.  Oh, those were the days when needing help and giving help was not such a horrible thing.

People are all up in arms and having a good old fashioned 2 year old temper tantrum over Barrack Obama saying “You didn’t do that by yourself.” He might as well have just went ahead and shot Mickey Mouse. How dare he say such a thing, this is AMERICA. Where you work hard, you build a business, you become successful. It is how this country was founded. Those pioneers taking off across the prairie in those covered wagons, not knowing what they would find but with the courage and the work ethic to just go for it!  Of course they usually had a wagon train-- you know-- where they all traveled together because apparently they felt there was safety in numbers. They would form a circle at night to protect each other. I know, I grew up watching Wagon Train and Little House on The Prairie. They all worked together and helped each other. When the Ingalls needed a barn or their neighbor needed a barn, they all came together and built a barn, had some good food and then little pig tail Laura wrote about it in her little diary thingy.

But that was the “good old days”. We don’t need that sort of crap anymore. We are better alone now. It is each man for himself, no more “we”…it is all about ME. We don’t need those roads and interstates or the truck drivers who take groceries or merchandise to our stores so we can sell them in “our” business to other people. We don’t need the garbage men or people who clean the streets so people can get into “our” business. We did it all by ourselves. Nobody helped us build anything. We are an island. We don’t need nobody or nothing. We don’t need customers to buy our goods, we don’t need the airwaves to advertise our goods and we certainly don’t need anyone telling us that we need anybody or anything.

This is America, home of the free and the brave. We don’t need the government sending the armed forces out there to protect us. We have our own guns. If somebody comes in our front yard, we will take care of them on our own thank you very much. Do you think for one minute that Henry Ford needed anyone to help him invent the Model T, assembly line and mass production??? Well …as a matter of fact …he did. Shocked?  Henry Ford had lots of help as a matter of fact.

He was first a machinist in Detroit, someone gave him a job. When he got tired of that and went home to his family farm where he learned how to run a Westinghouse steam engine. Westinghouse later hired him to service their engines. He also got a job with Edison Illuminating where he made enough money to start experimenting with gas engines and well…we sort of know how the story ends. The fact is without the family farm, Westinghouse, Edison and the business college he attended, we might all still be riding around on a horse and buggy. Sure, he had to put forth the effort, he had to work hard. But it would not have mattered if all the other inventions and knowledge before him had not existed. Every successful giant has stood on the shoulders of someone before them. So what is wrong with saying, “You didn’t do that by yourself”? When taken out of context it doesn’t sound very good, but if you listen to the words before that statement you would have heard …we are all in this together. We all need each other to prosper and grow and continue to be the great nation we say we are.

Only in politics would someone take something so well meaning and true and turn it into a horrible thing. We have to stop listening to what people tell us other people mean and listen for ourselves. If I listen to only one source of news, I would believe that Mitt Romney put his poor family dog in a cage on top of the car and drove down the road while it was puking and having diarrhea because he hates dogs and is cruel and inhumane.  I think he made a bad judgment call by thinking that his dog enjoyed that, but I don’t think he is a monster.

And I don’t even mind people fighting over Obama and Romney and lying about what they said or didn’t say. What I do mind are those who proclaim they follow Christ saying there is something evil about saying “You didn’t do that by yourself” We all know we never walk alone. We are supposed to be all about brotherly love, our brother’s keeper, taking care of one another, loving one another and yet it makes us mad when someone says “You didn’t do that by yourself.” Really???

I got my first real job because someone I knew put in a word for me with someone they knew. You know, that old, “it’s not what you know but who you know”? And I am thankful. I tell people all the time about being too afraid to even ask someone for a job. They opened a door for me. It was up to me to walk through that door, but I might not have had the courage without some help. I could not have got a college degree without my wonderful high school teachers, I would have never finished high school without the basics of my elementary school and I would have NEVER left Captain Kangaroo every morning to get on that school bus if my family had not threatened me within an inch of my life. I need people and I know people need me and I think THAT is what makes us the great nation we say we are. I pray we have not truly forgotten where we came from and where we would be without those who came before us. And I hope we continue to encourage those who will go forward….with a little help.

With all due respect, ~~Squirrely Girl

Faith of a Mustard Seed

Faith of a Mustard Seed or …

The miracle of the Fried Green Tomatoes

Have you ever seen fruit or vegetables grow from a dead tree or plant? I have. I just went out to my garden and though it is brown and obviously dead and covered with weeds, I just picked some beautiful big Green Tomatoes and a bag full of shiny red cherry tomatoes, some banana, red and green peppers and a couple of perfect cucumbers. I am not making this up. I have enough real life crazy stuff that goes on everyday in this maniac life of mine to have to make anything up.

I couldn’t believe it! There they were like a little gift from God. Completely against everything that all my green thumb ancestors ever taught me about a garden. You sow it, you keep it up by hoeing and weeding and watering and loving it and talking to it every day and you reap the reward. Hard work + diligence + patience= all the good veggies and fruit you could ever ask for (and FRIED GREEN TOMATOES).  But I haven’t been doing any of that lately. I have ignored my little garden and pretty much given up hope that it would continue feeding my growing Fried Green Tomato addiction. My job keeps me pretty busy. It is hard to schedule when a homeless family might need your undivided attention. Couple that with my overwhelming need to be lazy on the weekends…you are just asking for a dead garden.

But there it was this morning, green tomatoes, ripe tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers of every size and degree of hotness, just waiting for me to harvest.  Maybe God wanted to say, “Well done, my true and faithful servant”.  He knows I have been lax in going to church like I should, in reading my bible and studying like I should. He also knows I have felt guilty about it and expecting a “dry patch” of blessings. But just like always, He shows up just when I need Him. He reminded me that His eye is on the sparrow and the lily. He knows every bleached hair on my head. He knows every tear that falls and every heart that is breaking... so why couldn’t he just bring forth a green tomato from a dead plant? He healed the sick and made the dead man rise. And I expect so little from him each day. "You don't have it, 'cause you don't ask for it!"  (I am paraphrasing there a little.)

I think it was not a test of my faith as much as a ‘reminder’ of my faith. I still get caught up in being so unworthy of God’s grace, mercy and goodness that I forget he is not only 'worthy' …he is ‘able’. It was a gentle but healthy dose of “You do what you are supposed to and let me take care of the rest, kiddo."

My expectation of what God found acceptable was different from his. Sort of like the story of Cain. He brought as a sacrifice what he “thought” God would be pleased with, “look at me, look how hard I worked and what I did” not really seeking the heart of God. I was tasked with “getting over myself” for a little while. To put my needs way back on the back burner and stop worrying about my own happiness for a change. It seemed impossible. My heart was breaking. I felt alone and scared and my feelings were just plain out, old fashioned ‘hurt’.  But the more I concentrated on others, the more it helped. It didn’t make the pain go away, but I stopped dwelling on it. It didn’t change the circumstances but it changed the way I reacted to them. And low and behold, I got my dog back and more FRIED GREEN TOMATOES.

To me….my poor garden looked dead, worthless and unproductive…to God it looked like a good place to make a miracle happen! I think he looks at me the same way sometimes.  Wow...and I don't say that lightly...Wow!

With love and gratitude for all your prayers~~ Squirrely Girl

Pickin' on Squirrely Girl

 Pickin' on Squirrely Girl.....

Or....Gurrrrrl, You Better Check Yourself

Dear Squirrely Girl,

Are you a doctor or a psychiatrist or psychologist? What makes you think you are qualified to give advice or that you know any more answers than Tom, Dick or Harry? You know you can get in trouble for giving people advice in public, but maybe if you told us why you think you are qualified or why we should read or listen to anything you say, that might be a start. And why are you obsessed with squirrels? Sounds like you need some help yourself.

Signed ~ A Little Skeptical

Dear A Little Skeptical (and a Little Rude),

I have no qualifications to answer anyone’s questions or give anyone advice…other than OVER A HALF OF A CENTURY of living and breathing and observing people—crazy people, strange people, good people, bad people, big people, little people, people who climb on rocks, fat people, skinny people, even people with chicken pox (sorry I have an obsession with hot dog commercials too) but people in general. Some folks ski, mountain climb, fish, hunt, swim, paint, read, and all sorts of other hobbies. I observe people. That is what I do. I can’t help myself. I observe life around me because it is just AMAZING. So I think I am as qualified as anyone else to offer my little humble opinion about things.

I am not telling people who they should love (although I probably could) or what career they should choose (although I probably should). I am giving my opinion based on years of life experience, my own stupid mistakes, my family and friend’s mistakes along with all our successes. Just like I would share a good well tested recipe with anyone, I think it is only right to share tips for having a more simple and happy life.

For instance, from the tone of your email I would think that you are one who probably questions anything that looks too good to be true. Good quality and smart move…unless of course it keeps you from ever believing anything that is true could be good.  I have found, through experience only mind you, not a degree or license, that people who have been hurt and disappointed many times in their lives usually protect themselves from that by being total A-holes to everyone. If nobody likes you, you don’t have to worry about anyone letting you down. I am in no way saying that is true in your case, I am just saying I have seen it more times than I like to count.It is a safe way to live, but not necessarily the best way to live.

Why shouldn’t I tell human kind that if someone lies to you repeatedly you shouldn’t trust them any further than you could throw Drew Carey before he lost all that weight? Why shouldn’t I tell new mothers that no matter how hard they try they are not going to get it all right and they will make some mistakes so they should just relax and enjoy the miracle of their children growing up before their eyes? Why shouldn’t I warn people that all politicians are probably lying sacks of leftover gummy worms left in the floorboard of a pickup truck on a really hot day, so there is no reason to hate one more than the other? Why? Those are a few of the questions I have for you Ms. A Little Skeptical/A Little Rude. (I know you are a female because a male would never take time to write a letter to someone named Squirrely Girl unless it was in Playboy or something.)

I don’t know Tom, Dick, or Harry. I once knew a Harold and I am positive that I know more than him. If I get in trouble for giving out valuable advice, that will be no different from any other day in my life. I once got in trouble for touching a beautiful white cotton nightgown at the Palace of Versailles in Paris, because apparently you are not suppose to touch things in fancy schmancy stores in Paris unless you are going to buy them, guess they don’t do “lay-a-way” there. (Another story I will write one day called “What to not  FREAKIN’ TOUCH IN PARIS…or 4 Rednecks do Paris”.  And I am not “obsessed” with squirrels. I am only “obsessed” with my Ninja Squirrels because they once saved me from being attacked by crazy suicidal kamikaze birds on a rare “good hair day”. If you don’t understand that, I don’t think you can be my friend and I only give valuable free advice to friends, so …see…you don’t have anything to worry about. But I do need A LOT of help. I need someone to clean my house, do my laundry and clean my pool as we speak. What time would you like to come over? Bring a A&W Root Beer, a bag of gummy worms and something chocolate. We don’t have to be friends for you to clean my house.

Best of luck to you and your future, (where you should loosen up a little, marry a circus clown and stay out of careers that involve being nice to people.)

Sincerely ~~ Squirrely Girl

DON'T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN' GUNS

  
DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!

Or…Can you ever really have enough ways to kill somebody?

Update: I wrote this blog in July of 2012...wow...who would have known how wild the frenzy of "Don't Touch Our Freakin' Guns" would become. A couple of mass murder rampages...dozens of bullets riddling the bodies of kindergartners and first graders. I wrote this in a satire manner...but I knew it was a serious matter even then...I knew this NRA guy was crazy as a loon ..but only until this week did I understand his motivation. The more afraid he can make people-- the more guns they will buy and the more the gun manufactures who are now the backbone of the NRA will make in profits...(not my grandpa's NRA anymore) so remember the next time you support them..they were not above making a dollar off the blood of innocent children...if that seems harsh..well..the truth is often very harsh. 


There is an outrage going on and it is lighting up Facebook, talk shows and “News” shows like a small town in the middle of Nevada. Apparently, somebody is trying to take our GUNS! Can you believe it? Well, that is what they are saying. Some big wig from the NRA (National ..we rather fight than switch, blow something up than talk, shoot now ask questions later...Rifle Association) is on YouTubing giving this passionate speech about “we will not tolerate being attacked”. So I guess it is all pretty serious. I listened to him, because I want to know who is trying to attack us. He never did say, but he sounded pretty sure ‘somebody’ is going to and any day now too! 

I guess he was talking to the UN about some treaty that says we shouldn't be selling guns to other countries because…let’s face it…we can’t trust them. But I guess he thinks that translates to somebody coming in your house and going to your gun cabinet and taking all your personal shot guns or rifles or AK 47 machine guns and he was some sorta mad about that. I would be too if I thought that was what they were doing. I read the treaty, it doesn’t mention anything about anyone doing that, but that doesn’t matter because…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.

It is in that Second Amendment you know, the right to bear arms. I don’t remember that much about history, but from what little I can recall, our forefathers needed guns back in the day when they were fightin’ the British and Indians or each other and it was a really high priority for their well-being and safety. Later on it became more important for Davy Crokett to shoot a bear or did he use his bare hands? Whatever….I do know he wore a raccoon on his head and that is what is really important.  Anyway, they needed their guns, so they put that right at the top of list of things to DON”T FREAKIN’ TOUCH. Like their right to say what they wanted, worship like they wanted, vote like they wanted and all those other really neat things.In my itsy bitsy peroxide induced blonde brain, I am thinking if we compare our times with theirs, I want a NUCLEAR WAR HEAD! So I can really protect myself. 

I live out in the country, folks out here love their guns, L.O.V.E  LOVE them. Hunting season is like mardi gras here. And about 98% of those folks use their guns responsibly and make sure they train their children to do the same. Of course that is not the case everywhere. But if we say that only ‘responsible’ people can have guns…well…it will not matter, because the nuts and psychos are still going to get guns one way or the other. They can go down to Walmart or the local gun shows and get all the guns they want. When is the last time you heard of anyone being turned down from getting a gun? Maybe Ted Bundy or Jason from Friday the 13^th would be turned down, but I think they are both dead now, although you can never trust that Jason won’t come back.  And to make it even easier to ensure you can not only keep your gun, they passed a new law a while back that says you can shoot anybody you want if you say they scared you. After all…there will only be one witness left standing to prove that ... YOU…(how convenient is that???) and in Florida, you can walk right in the capital building with a concealed weapon now, no questions asked.

So nobody is trying to come take our guns and we can shoot anybody we want, but still…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them, they make us feel safe. If someone breaks in our house, we want and need the right to shoot that someone. Nobody is arguing with that, not that I have heard or read yet. So far the ATT (Arms Treaty Agreement) doesn’t say a word about personal rights to bear arms in our great nation, it just limits the sale of guns to OTHER countries. How that is translating into taking your BB gun, I don’t know. BUT…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them. Just in case. I even saw a picture all over Facebook with a whole family (including the toddler) with a big gun in their hands on their front porch that said, “We don’t need to call 911, but we will call you a coroner.” Yep, who needs the law? Who needs a society that says we can’t shoot whoever and whatever we want to shoot? We are independent of our country, its rules AND our fellowman. It is our God given freedom for the love of a Saturday Night Special and .44 Magnum.

There is that one little bitty detail that says any international treaty that affects the sale of guns in the US would have to pass the Senate and be subject to constitutional challenges like any law. But who cares about details when somebody is trying to TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS? I need a gun, I also need a knife and a sword and a tank and one of those stealthy thingys that nobody can see so I can REALLY protect myself and my family. I know, I know, we have the biggest armed forces in the world to protect us.... I don’t care. DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!  So if someone can find where it says in this treaty anything other than 'regulates the INTERNATIONAL import and export of small arms', I want to see it with my own eyes. Call me silly, but before I can protest anything I really need to see it with my own eyes and know what it says.  The only thing I do know for sure about this treaty right now is the NRA HATES it and IRAN HATES IT.  Oh lookee, something a few Americans agree with Iran about. Maybe this whole thing will bring us all together and we can share some corn and turkey. Just remember this... we can’t hunt and shoot a turkey if somebody “TOUCHES OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!

P.S. For obvious reasons, the squirrels do not like guns either.

Squirrely Girl now apologizes to every neighbor, family member, FB friend, the NRA, Jason and all others who are passionate about their guns or other weapons, including chain saws. Please do not egg or toilet paper my house. I am just too tired to clean up that sort of mess.

Thank you!