Top Five Things That Broke My Heart In 2012...

Top Five Things That Broke My Heart In 2012..

And How to Prevent Them in 2013

5.  People are not what they seem.

I think we all have images in our minds of how we see people, who we think they are and it hurts when you realize some are just not what you perceived. It burst your little bubble, it is like finding out there is no Santa Clause or Easter Bunny and you just want to know why anyone would lie to you about what is real and what is not! The fact is most of us are not as we appear. I have met people I thought were total buttholes because they acted closed off and aloof and downright unfriendly, but when I took time to get to know them…really know them….I found  out something awful had just happened in their lives. That is why they were acting weird--they didn’t want to meet another person they might love and then have to lose. Then and I have come to know others who I believed in completely and they turned out to be completely whacko. So we have to accept people where they are at the time and not make any pre-conceived opinions or hold on to first impressions. That will save us a heart break or two next year.

4. Religion is not what it seems.

I have decided I am not religious anymore…I don’t think I was ever really religious, I think I have been “Christian” for most of my life because there is nothing any cooler or beyond WOW than Jesus Christ…you just can’t beat His teachings-- so I am happy to say I am no longer religious but a stronger believer in Christ…so that is not what broke my heart. What broke my heart were all the people masquerading as “Christians’ who would kick Christ right out of their own church. Jesus loved everyone. He loved the sinner, the leper, the thief on the cross. He judged no one and just loved them all regardless of their sins. Some Christians had rather go have a Chick-fil-A sandwich in honor of someone who hates homosexuals than give a meal to a child…I guess because it makes them feel superior and separates them from those ‘bad people’. It broke my heart to hear people say or sing in one breath how great the grace and mercy of a loving God is and in the next talk about how He would also send people to a burning hell forever and ever and ever for loving the wrong person or committing a different sin from their sins. My heart broke to not see love come from those that say they love God…but I will continue to love God. Next year I hope I learn to love Him more and serve Him better.

3. NEVER talk about religion and politics.

Sure we have heard that all our lives but because I was raised in the backwoods…I didn’t know any better. Maybe because my parents never agreed on anything political and I learned more listening to them ‘debate’ than any school or college could teach me. I just assumed that everyone was like my family. That you could state your opinion about anything, disagree and then laugh and have a really good home cooked meal later. But that is just not true anymore. People identify themselves by their religious and political beliefs and if you disagree with either,  they feel you are attacking them personally. So my heart did not break because someone did not agree with me…let’s face it..I am pretty used to that….my heart was broken because they thought maybe I liked them less as a person because I did not agree with them. And the bible says if your right hand offends you…cut it off. I don’t think that meant literally take a sword and chop off your hand…I think it means nothing should be more important than letting people know that you love them. 

Certainly not your opinion about anything--even if you feel like it is important-- people will not really listen to you if they don’t think you love them first. My heart is broken by my own mistakes. Now that I realize that--I will be slower to speak and quicker to listen next year.

2. We Have Become a Christian Nation of Fear

Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Christian Fear.  It does not compute. There is a wildfire spreading across the United States of fear. Be afraid of the government, be afraid of your neighbor, afraid of anyone who looks different, acts different, worships different, if they even seem the least bit different. I worship a God who says, “Fear not”, so it all confuses me and I am sure it confuses those who do not know or believe in God. What are we so afraid of? We are ready to put armed guards around our schools, we think more guns will cut down on deaths by guns. We are buying up more and more ammunition getting ready for some sort of show down with somebody and we are teaching our children that the entire world is not a safe place to live. I don’t think the world has ever been a safe place to live. We are enraged at the deaths of 20 innocent babies and we should be but where is the outrage over thousands of deaths of innocent children we killed in wars we should have never been fighting? Do we just demand safety for those children who live within our borders, if and only IF they have a legal right to be here? Jesus came to save the WORLD—not just the USA. That breaks my heart and I am not sure what we can do about that next year. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.

1.      And the NUMBER ONE thing that broke my heart this year is….

I did not spend enough time doing all the things I should have to make things better. I spent more time on “me” than I did on the mission to help others. I thought I had it all right and that all I had to do was make people think like I thought and things would be better. So my heart deserves to be broken into a million little pieces and I need to pick them up and start over. I need to look at the ‘man in the mirror’ or "Ninja Squirrel Queen in the mirror"( hehe)  and start with me.  “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me”…that needs to be my motto. I need to stop worrying about what other people are doing or not doing and sweep around my own back porch as Mama Bess would say.

Thank you all for listening to my ranting and raving and craziness this year. I can’t promise I will not continue BUT I can promise I will put forth more effort in the coming year. I will stop…I will pause..I will take a couple of deep breaths, count to 100,000… (maybe) and try to be a bit more understanding and less critical. Ya’ll better PRAY FOR ME…haha

May you all have the bestest New Year EVER!!!

~Squirrely Girl

SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N ROLL...and...

.....PYTHONS and EVIL ELVES…

I will be going back out on the road soon with The Hub and The Boys.  Every time I tell someone that they say something like, “Oh, that is exciting!” or “Oh, that sounds like so much fun!”  or “Wow, you guys get paid to dress up and go on stage and play music and have a good time? That is AWESOME!”  But I think what many are thinking is “You are insane, what kind of job is that? That’s not a real job.” or “I bet you all do drugs cause everyone knows people in bands all do drugs, drink and ‘other things’ we can’t even mention.” 

And I completely understand. Growing up in a small town, my impression of ‘musicians and bands’ included: “ They are alcoholic druggies who are too lazy to get a real job and just got lucky and have a little talent in order to get paid enough so they do not have to work a single day in their life. It just can’t be fair that people can love something so much AND be allowed to do it AND get paid for it AND then enjoy it because it is so much fun! That is just not normal and there must be something illegal involved somehow somewhere.”

So when I tell people that our family sometimes plays music for a living and I see their eyes twitch a little, I know where they are coming from. But because of my family’s history in music I was open and even encouraged to explore the possibility that you can make a living using your love of music. Daddy Frank played with Hank Williams Sr. until he said he about starved to death, my great uncles, Pappy Neal and Uncle Earl spent all their lives playing music. Everyone in our family plays an instrument, sings, writes, or at least listens to the radio. You can’t survive if you don’t.  But life on the road is not quite as glamorous as it sounds. I will be doing a blog sharing the ins and outs and break-downs and  a few “Band On The Run/Running On Empty / With The Runs” food critiques..that should be pretty interesting. So stay tune for that. You can check out when and where we will be at The Southern Soul Allstars’ website..  http://www.thessas.com/home.cfm 

I must say ..it is looking like a really COLD ..um..I mean a really COOL tour. Oh well…life is a journey not a destination. And in the case of our band …it is a journey that needs some sort of adult supervision…but why should we start now!!

Speaking of adult supervision…why anyone in their right mind would leave me to my own devices on Facebook is a mystery to me. I have been in more trouble than a tumblin’ tumbleweed in a tornado this week. I chimed in on a little conversation—which I have been known to do a time or two—about the big old humongous PYTHON that was killed in Caryville, Florida. It was of interest to me because I don’t live far from Caryville, Florida. All I said was…people buy those suckers online and then when they get too big and after they eat their house and car..they set them free and then they end up in places like Caryville, Florida…where a little 13 year old girl had to shoot and kill it.

Well…some looney toon guy said I was crazy and that nobody could buy a baby PYTHON online because it was illegal and I said..(because I always have the right to remain silent ..but I never will) “Well here are a few sites that say you can buy one online.”  And he said..”Well the last 3 years that has been banned and it is illegal NOW.”   And I said GOOD! Then he said—PYTHONS can NOT survive our winters here anyway and that I (Ninja Squirrel Queen) did NOT know what I was talking ‘bout and I said—well, the PYTHON in Caryville, Florida that was 11.4 ft long and 15 inches wide..I think it was surviving pretty dang good. And then he got mad and apparently reported me to FB as a black market PYTHON seller/oppressor, which is not true. I am not going to oppress or pet or hunt or buy or sell NO KIND OF SNAKE. 

But that doesn’t matter-- I got put on probation on FB and could not post or like anything on my page for 24 hours until I learned my lesson not to chime in on other people’s conversations that might have looney toon friends. Lesson learned!

At first I thought I was banned for making fun of my nieces’ ‘elf on a shelf”. Yeah…um…who came up with this idea and how many drugs did they take first???  I want a ‘stocking on a shelf’ one filled with as much chocolate as possible but I cannot imagine wanting a little skinny elf on a shelf that gets up in the middle of the night and wrecks havoc on my house, life and family. Who thought this would be fun??? ELVES are Santa’s little helpers. We all know this right??? They are at the North Pole pounding away on toys or trying to be a dentist for God’s sake..they are not roaming around your house playing tricks..that…is GREMLINS!!!  Maybe we can pour water on all those creepy elves and they will turn into FROSTY THE SNOWMAN! That is something I can use around my house because I am having MEGA HOT FLASHES!!!

Sure the title said Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll..but there will be no talk of sex in this blog. All that leads to is more human beings who think Evil Elves, Pythons and Gremlins are a good thing!

Happy Whatever Will Not Offend You (I am in enough trouble as it is)

~Squirrely Girl

Cousins..who could ask for anything more?

COUSINS MAKE THE BEST FRIENDS and CO-CONSPIRATORS

We all grew up with our cousins. For the longest time I didn’t know the difference between my cousins and my sisters and brothers. We all spent the night together so much I thought we were just one big family who took turns with mamas and daddies. We didn’t just play “musical chairs” we played ‘musical houses’.  The girls would spend all day building a playhouse of boards placed on tin cans to design our ‘house’ under the two big oak trees beside my house appropriately named “The Oak Tree”. If we did skip a night of spending the night together (we didn’t call it sleepovers) the last thing we would say to each other at the end of the day was, “See you in the morning at The Oak Tree!” Then we would take turns walking each other halfway home which could sometimes take hours until we finally figured out we would all have to walk at least halfway home alone..that is usually when we came to the conclusion it would be best if we just spent the night at someone's house. That choice was made by whose mama was cookin' the best supper. 

The Oak Tree was magical. We would build our playhouse all morning and would sweep the dirt and cook our mud pies and we even had some vines in the pretend bathroom and if it had rained that day we would stand under them and shake for a ‘shower’…something none of us had in our real houses. It was a master piece, The Oak Tree. It was our secret club. Which drove the boy cousins completely INSANE. They considered it a foreign country that needed to be attacked and terrorized at every opportunity and they never failed to be creative in their plans for destruction. This often resulted in mind games, like convincing us the place was haunted by a giant monster with a size 24 shoe. That has not been disproved completely to this day. We all saw the shoe print and no one could ever explain how it got there. It was obviously a one legged giant monster because there was only the one footprint, but it was enough to have us screaming and running for safety. Clever they were..the boy cousins”.

Just like in real life, the girls were nesting and building a thing of stability and beauty while the boys were trying to see who could kill each other first on the makeshift obstacle course they had built to use their bicycles as deadly weapons.  JTD,“Jumping The Ditches” was the equivalent of the most extreme sport today. I don’t even know how many bones were broke or dislocated over the years…too many to count..and they DID NOT report most of them because it was against the rules to JTD and the parents would seriously WYB, 'Whip Your Butt" if they found out.  Of course being the wonderful little caretakers and responsible citizens we were, the girls would always immediately report all offenders.

That led to the inevitable and ultimate final battle between the girl cousins and the boy cousins. You could see the smoke coming out of the boy’s ears with thoughts of revenge while we just stayed up all night giggling and preparing for the attack. This would go on forever, until we would all join forces and put our differences aside for the UATE, "Ultimate All Time Experience".  According to the parental units, the most dangerous thing we could do besides go swimming after eating (I don’t know how we all lived through that) was to go play on the DSP "Deadly Sawdust Piles". We grew afraid of three things in life:  panthers, hell and the DSP. The more dangerous they said it was and how bad we would be punished if they found out we played on the DSP, the more we would plot how we could go play on the DSP.

The parental units AND grandparental units would say, “Sure those big sawdust piles look fun, but they are old and they are rotting from the inside out and they will cave in and you will be buried, your lungs filling up with rotted sawdust and you will choke and eventually die a horrible death by suffocation.” And we would say, “Oh yeah, we are DEFINITLY going to the forbidden DSP now!!!!!” 

 I think back and wonder...wasn’t there just one logical older cousin that could have spoke up and said, “Hey, maybe this is not such a good idea”?  Nope, there was not. So we all found a way to play on the DSP at least once a week and some weeks we didn’t get caught and there were no WYB sessions. Good times.

The thing about growing up that close to your cousins is that it last a lifetime. A perfect example is my cousin Dalton and my brother Gator. I wasn't even old enough to remember all the trouble they got into as boys but I know what they are doing now and I am sure it closely resembles their childhood.  The Gator and Dalton have been 'workin' (and I use that term loosely) on and off together since they are both semi-retired and here's a recap of a normal work day for them:

Meet early..the earlier the better...have some coffee and maybe a bite of breakfast..discuss upcoming 'things that need to be done'...have some more coffee...talk a little more about things to be done and decide on one...have some more coffee...discuss other things of great importance..the weather..the neighbors, religion and sin in general and how they could fix it all...have a little something more to eat and a half a cup of coffee...change original thing to be done to something else after re-evaluation of weather and level of arthritis. About 2 hours later..start 'thing to be done'. First stand and discuss 'thing to be done' in great detail and what is actually required to do the job...decide you don't have it...go back.. get more coffee and discuss 'what we gonna do now'? Pick new 'thing to be done'. Go to lunch. Talk with all surrounding patrons at local café about what the new 'thing to be done' and decide if it is truly a priority. Go back have a cup of coffee and discuss new 'thing to be done' and whose opinion from the cafe you really trust and what was the underlying motive for their suggestions.  Decide it is too late to do new thing now and discuss what time to meet in the morning to discuss the new 'thing to be done' in more detail over a cup of coffee.  Decide it needs to be early, the earlier the better. Discuss what happened to the day because it just seemed to fly by.  End the day with the usual farewell greeting, “Meet me at The Oak Tree in the morning."

I love my cousins...say AMEN if you do too!!!

Being Thankful and Confused...

Life and Death…And What Is In The Middle…

We lost another loved one in our family this week. Thanksgiving is tomorrow. My mind is not on turkey and dressing, my mind is not even on the best sweet potato casserole ever made that my sister brings every year or the nanner puddin’ my niece has become famous for or trying to make my dressing taste as good as Mama Bess’ like I do every year. My mind is on the sorrow and pain that comes from that empty chair that will be at a table tomorrow. So I guess my mind is on what Thanksgiving is all about…each other.

 I come from a HUGE family, I mean when God said “be fruitful and multiply” we took that stuff very serious. I love my big family. All the uncles and aunts and cousins and second cousins and third cousins twice removed (whatever the heck that means). All I know is that we are all very close and I would not change a thing. Most of us grew up in the same community and even though many have moved away, we remain very close.  Every place I have worked over the years has said, “Girl, you have more funerals than anyone we know.” And it is true. The advantage to having a big family is there is ALWAYS someone there for you when you need them. The disadvantage is you have more wonderful people that you will eventually lose one day. And it never gets any easier.

Whether we lose one of our beloved matriarchs or patriarchs who lived to be 90 or the sudden death of a young person, there is a void, an emptiness that somehow we fill later with good memories, laughter and peace. But today, I am sad. Today I don’t understand and I want to be a little mad and I want to cry and maybe scream. Today I want to question “why?” Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do children have to hurt? Why do we not know what to say or what to do that might have changed things? I want to ask all the questions and no one judge me or say I don’t have enough faith. I don’t even want all the answers I just want to know it is okay for me to ask “WHY?” Mama Bess always said she would not worship a God that would not let her ask questions and she certainly wouldn’t teach her child to love a God that had an ego so big he couldn’t be ask questions. She said we can bring anything before him …even our questions, even our doubts.  He knows our hearts and he already knows we don’t understand. It is almost an insult to think we can hide our hurt and disappointment from an omnipotent God.

So I will come right out and say it. I am hurt and I am disappointed and I wish I understood it all. I may never understand everything in this life, but I find comfort in the fact I am not afraid to ask the questions. That I feel secure to say, “Dear God…we are all hurting and we don’t understand and we are asking for a peace in our hearts to accept what is and not dwell on what could have been.”

Words lack any power to help anyone’s pain but oh how I wish they did. I would write and talk all the sorrow away. For now all I can do is keep the faith that was instilled in me in as a young child. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrew 11:1

We are all born and one day ..we will all die and all that will matter is what we did in the middle. And that is happening now..right now as I type these words and as you read these words. We all have the power to write our own story and determine how that story ends. God be with all those who are struggling today with questions and loss and may we all learn to control our reactions to each chapter in the book of our life. When the time comes...may we all be able to say.."I made the middle count." 

Happy Thanksgiving, peace, love and comfort to everyone!

~Squirrely Girl

How Great Is Our God??? Seriously...how great?

How Great Is Our God?

Sing It With Me….or not…

There has been a whole lot of uproar about traditional music vs. contemporary or “Praise/Worship Music” in churches over the last decade or so. I really don’t care one way or the other as long as you are making a joyful noise to the Lord and mean it. But I must say some of the “Praise/Worship Music” or whatever it is called does repeat the same words a whole bunch of times over and over and over and over and over and…...well you get the point. As a songwriter who fidgets and contemplates every lyric I write, I kind of think that is cheating, but I am  probably just jealous and bitter that I haven’t found the perfect words for a praise phrase to sing over and over and over and over and over and over…..

But I really do like that one song, “How Great Is Our God"

How great is our God, sing with me

How great is our God, and all will see

How great, how great is our God”

You can hear it hear and sing along here…it is a wonderful song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKLQ1td3MbE

I love the song because when you sing those words it lets you do what we are suppose to do. Praise his name. Not just ‘worship music’….but assisting in the worship of God. I love that. But let’s say that someone who might not know “our” God. hears us singing about how great he is but they have never experienced his ‘greatness’ yet..they might be a bit confused if they have not yet heard of our God.  The only thing they have to go on is what ‘our’ God does for our everyday life, right? The example of His power in our lives and the lives of others is really the only way they can understand the words of “How Great is Our God" until we have shared the actual  message. 

So after the election when some of the same people I have heard sing that song so passionately have been so angry, sad, disappointed and downright ugly about how the election turned out, I have to wonder…what God were they singing about? I mean if you prayed, as many did, that ‘our’ God’s will be done and it turned out a different way than you thought was ‘His Will”…it means one of two things. Either you didn’t really care about ‘our’ God’s will OR.. ‘our’ God wasn’t powerful enough to rig an election.  And this is why (although I have practically been stoned) I have been saying for a year.... keep “our God” out of “our politics”. Because I can guarantee you not all Christians prayed the same prayer, so at least half of us were going to be disappointed and sometimes we need to thank God for unanswered prayers in the words of Garth Brooks..(or whoever wrote that song).

And another thing…. how great IS our God? Is he not great enough to take us through anything? Did we really need the ‘right political party or human being’ in a place of authority to have faith that God is still in control? Do you really think if one man wants to ‘destroy this country’ he can do it no matter what God wants? How great IS our God?

Have we become so selfish and so elitist that we think we can ‘put in our order’ to God for what we want in this country and he will serve it up like a fast food restaurant? I think God may have looked at the whole hate filled, fear mongering, scare tactics done in his name and said, “These kids need to be put in time out until they can learn to at least pretend to act Christ-like”.  Our mission is to spread the love and mercy of Jesus Christ, not to promote one political ideology over the other. If you can find the words “democrat and republican party” in the bible, please message that to me ASAP. I have got to to see that.

Now I hear there are five states that have started petitions to withdraw from the United States of America. Ooooohhh…kayyyy. Can we help you pack??? Where ya gonna go? And what ya gonna do when ya get there? I heard a bunch might go to Canada..but that can’t be true because they have that HORRIBLE socialist health care system there. I heard a couple who were going to Australia where they have a white Christian President…which is actually a female atheist..but whatever. Or maybe you could go to some of the poorest nations in our world and be a missionary there and see how bad we have it here. I bet things will not look so sad, scary and desperate then. 

From Psalms 146… “Hallelujah! Praise the LORD, O my soul! I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Put not your trust in rulers, nor in any child of earth, for there is no help in them.”

A lot of this madness and fear has been preached from our pulpits..so How GREAT is our God??? Not great enough to handle the problems of America? Not great enough to change the heart and lead any human no matter how much you hate him? How GREAT is our God? If you are singing it with confidence and not fear, if you are singing it with love and the compassion of Christ and not hypocrisy and judgment..then sing it loud and sing it clear and share it from  the top of your lungs. Otherwise, sing it in your sanctuaries quiet and self serving and leave the rest up to our Great God.

May the peace and power of  God be with us all…

~Squirrely Girl

Let's Give 'Em Somethin' To Talk About

And we REALLY need to talk about this...

Dear Squirrely Girl,

Before you read this long, boring, and sometimes sad note, I want to clarify that I am not gay.

And so we begin.

Somebody asked me politely this week the following question, “no offense, but are you gay?” Out of respect of the person who penetrated the awkwardness into my lunchtime, I lightened up the mood by stating, “If I were gay, don’t you think I would dress better?” Obviously that might be stereotypical because I know some gay people who dress just as bad as me, but I digress. I have heard that question, oh I would say, about a 7 times in my life. I actually don’t mind people asking because it does allow me to actually speak for myself as opposed to the whispering lips through the grape vine. It is a question that I have grown to hate and love over the years. I hate it because obviously I speak, act, or move a certain way that give people the impression that I am into men. I love that question because it shows that there are people left in this world who value honesty better than rumors; therefore, this long, boring, and sometimes sad note is not to bash the people who think or ask the question. This is a note that I feel God is calling me to write because there may be someone who is struggling with the same situation . . . or maybe I am writing it because I am bored and refuse to study . . . I think it is a combination of both.

This all started back in middle school. Picture it, January 2004, A small town high school. It’s lunch time and everybody is either eating, walking around outside, or lounging around the entranceway into the building next to the gym. I don’t remember the moments before this incident, all I remember is this tall guy (I would never give names) shoved me out of the way and said the following, “Move you f------g faggot”. Obviously, a chubby little twelve-year-old is not going to stand up to a strong 6’5 junior or senior. Thankfully, I saw a friend (who was a girl) standing nearby so I obviously gravitated toward her. (She was a little older than me so she had a few choice words to say to the foul mouth Neanderthal).

That whole ordeal of calling me a “faggot” is not what upsets me. What upset me so much about that day was a minor detail of that moment that I didn’t mention. See, during lunch we have what we like to call “chaperones” that usually consist of school personnel. On that day, two of them witnessed this little episode. After witnessing this little (and yes, in the grand scheme of worldwide bullying, I would consider a little bump and name calling to be ranked kinda low on the bully spectrum) incident, the words that stick with me to this day were spoken from the lips of one them, “if you’re going to have girls sticking up for you then you might as well be one [faggot].”

Again, this long, boring, and sometimes sad note is not to bash the outspoken school personnel or their silent companion. In my heart I have forgiven the harsh words, the bully, and the two in authority. But since that moment, I know that obviously there is a reason why God made me . . . well . . . not so John Wayne-ish.

You see, I see people constantly bash others who are different, and since we are on the subject of homosexuality I might as well use it for example. We have all seen news segments about teenagers committing suicide because they were bullied. I can hardly listen without my blood boiling and my heart breaking. I am ashamed to say that I have also bullied gay people. Whether it was by physical words or in my heart, I had judged and condemned homosexuals for no purpose other than to mask or somehow justify the sins and struggles I hide in my own closet so to speak. 
(I swear this long, boring, and sometimes sad note gets to a point) 

The point is (told you) WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT DAMMIT!!!!

Nobody is perfect! Nobody is cookie-cutter. Nobody without the grace and forgiveness of Christ is worthy to even clean the golden rimmed toilets of Heaven. 
I say all of that to say this. If any of you are going through Hell every day at school, work, or home . . . talk to me. I’m no Oprah, but I’ve been there. I’ve been there when grown, educated adults who not only fail to protect you, but push the thorn even deeper in your side. I’ve been through it all (ok not all, but sometimes you have to say that in order to make a point). . .but I didn’t do it alone. Thankfully, shortly after that incident I had the opportunity to have a quiet time with God for me to just vent.(and yes, I vented while sitting on a toilet seat. . . get over it). I didn’t know if I was going to move schools, rob a candy store, or sacrifice a puppy. I just knew that whatever I did, I needed to talk with Him first. Thankfully, in my heart He told me to push through and continue on, and so I did.

I finished school, I moved on, and BOOM! I run into this guy at Walmart. He didn’t even recognize me. (Go figure). I hate to mention karma or any Adele type scenario, but between you and me, he is not sporting the same body he had in high school. . . or hair . . . or teeth. And the school personnel.... I don’t hold anything against them. I can come up with a bunch of excuses and explanations for what they did. . . and at this point in my life I don’t care. I am glad that event occurred. Now when I am faced with the temptation to judge, condemn, or bully somebody, I can picture in my mind those two ladies and pray on the spot that I don’t repeat what happened in that school house.

Ok, maybe this long, boring, and sometimes sad note doesn’t really have a point, a plot, or a message. . . but it’s just what’s on my heart at the moment. 
To truthfully answer the girls question, no I am not gay. I don’t support homosexuality, but I also don’t support, adultery, fortification, lying, drinking, pride, or any of the 667 sins listed athttp://www.wogim.org/sinlist.htm 

But I do support the people behind each and every sin because in today’s world we cannot rely on teachers, adults, or even families sometimes for protection. We need God. And when someone doesn’t know God personally, that is where we come in. 
That is the end of today’s lesson. 

Squirrelly Girl, do with it what you like.

Keaton

Dear Keaton,

Well the first thing I would like to do with this is go kick some adults’ ignorant beeeehinnnds..but since you are being so forgiving and insightful about the whole thing and have so much more maturity now than they will have when they are 103 years old, I will contain my need for violence and the satisfaction of making them feel as helpless as you did back then because you are right….we have to accept people where they are. Maybe they really were too immature, uneducated and untrained to be teachers and hopefully have learned some lessons since then.  

And what I learned also from your “long boring, and sometimes sad note” (which was not long, certainly not boring and really not sad…and I will tell you why later) is that the kid who bullied you probably grew up being bullied and more than likely from his own family and his only defense was to strike out at someone he considered weaker than him. He wanted someone else to feel what he was feeling. Sometimes when people feel the need to intentionally hurt and abuse someone else they are not just evil (there are plenty of those too I am sad to say) but they just want someone else to feel as bad as they do. And it worked didn’t it? You had a glimpse into a little bit of the pain that comes with not truly being loved. I am so thankful to know for a fact that you had enough unconditional love in your life to recover from that temporary pain. The saddest thing about your letter is that you and I both know there are so many who do not have that support and when they face being bullied every day, they do feel worthless and see no reason to continue.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people and bullying victims are 2 to 9 times more likely to commit suicide. http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!

I wish I knew the answer but I think you just made a very good start. I think people who have been bullied have to share what that feels like, they have to make themselves available to those going through a similar events so they do not feel so alone. Teachers and anyone else in a position of authority must be trained to deal with these situations and be easily approached without fear of being bullied further.

In plain language: If you are being bullied tell someone ANYONE. Feel free to message me and if you would like to talk with Keaton I will get you in contact with him. If you are a teacher or principle, any adult that deals with young people and you do not feel comfortable dealing with bullying or have never received proper training in how to deal with these situations and you never want to read this type of story about yourself. Please we beg you, let someone know.. seek out resources to assist you. Do not let your pride stand in the way of not knowing the best way to deal with a bully. Some child’s life may very well depend upon your actions.

Keaton, my precious nephew, as far as people asking you if you are gay…from now on just say something like this… “Can I ask you  about your sex life, like who, when and what and how many?  Oh, I can’t. Yeah that would be rude wouldn’t it?  Good, glad you agree… that means it shouldn’t really matter now should it?” Cause they are idiots and it doesn’t matter what they think.

So your note was not sad at all because it opens doors to the unspoken problems many young people find themselves in today and you have just proved that no matter what…they too can overcome the stupidity of others.

With Much Respect and Love and Gratitude to You

~Squirrely Girl

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

God is Great, God is Good or....

What’s up with all this praying stuff???

Dear Squirrely Girl,

I notice that you say you are praying for people all the time on Facebook and you request prayer sometimes too and I was just wondering, do you really pray that much? I mean if you stop and pray for every person you say you do on Facebook you would just be praying all the time. How do you have time to make a living and write all the crazy stuff you write if you are praying all the time? Do you think people just say they are praying for people to be nice? It all sounds a little crazy to me because I am not really a church goer but I think prayer is good I just don’t know if people pray as much as they say they do.

Signed, Amen

Dear Amen, (Well...AMEN!):

That is an excellent question and I am going to do my best to answer it as honestly as I know how.

Do I really, actually, literally bow down on my knees and say a prayer for every person when I say, “praying for you” on Facebook? No, I do not. But I will tell you what I do. At that moment when I finish typing “praying for you”, I stop whatever I am doing and I pray in my heart and in my soul. I stop, I pause, I close everything else out and talk to God.

I may be very wrong (it has been said I have been numerous times) but I think praying is how we communicate with God. I think a ‘personal relationship’ with God means I can talk to him any time I want or any time I need. Just like my mama and my daddy and my sisters and brothers and my best friends…I need to be able to call up and gripe, complain, cry, laugh, be sad, be joyful, tell them I love them and how much I appreciate them. Sometimes I need to share my deepest feelings with someone I know loves me, unconditionally. And I will be completely honest with you, even your parents, family and friends are human and they might not always be available…you know who is? God. 

If I had a friend who was very sick and my daddy was the most excellent physician in the world, I would call him faster than you can say Jack Rabbit to take care of them. To me, God is the Great Physician and He is available at all times..I don’t even have to make an appointment, all I have to do is stop long enough to take my ADD brain off myself and focus on the needs of someone else. The bible says all we have to do is ask and it will be given to us. Now does that mean every single prayer is answered to my satisfaction? Absolutely not, because I don’t always know what is best for me or another person, but I trust that God does. It is called faith. So I pray for God’s will to be done. It is not as mystical as it sounds. I once asked Mama Bess and Daddy Frank for a monkey, a pet monkey to call my own. I whined and I cried and I pleaded for a pet monkey or “Mighty Joe Young” because me and my sister had watched that movie like 54 times and we were both convinced we needed one. Thank goodness, our parents knew Mighty Joe Young was not a ‘monkey’ but a baby gorilla that would grow up to be bigger than our entire house. Over the years I  have learned the difference between praying for what I want and what I need.

You said you are not much of a ‘church goer’ so I have some really excellent news for you. You don’t have to go to church to pray. How ‘bout that? AND..you don’t have to get dressed up or put on make-up or even move a muscle physically. What you do have to do is a little harder though. You have to be still and be present in the moment. You can’t text or FB and talk to God at the same time. He pretty much needs your full attention as any good parent or teacher would.

Here is an example of a prayer I had one morning when there was no one around and no one else needed to hear it but God, but I still shared it with some folks who were going through some of the same things:

Dear Lord, today I feel weak. My intentions are good but I don’t think I have the strength to do what You would have me to do. Today, I feel like the enemy is attacking me from every side and I realize I cannot do it alone. Father, you are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. You said you knew me before the foundation of this world, so you already know about my problems and my worries and I think maybe You are just waiting for me to look up at You instead of down on me. I am putting my trust and faith in you today. I am leaving the doubts and fears at the foot of the cross where victory was won. And for just today I am going to forget how small I feel and remember how big You are! Thank you for listening once again today…Talk to ya later. Amen

To try to answer your question more clearly…I don’t think prayer request and prayer chains are required for God to hear our prayers at all. I think He said “Where two or more are gathered”  to keep us connected to each other because He knew we should never face anything alone. Let’s get real... God knows He would hear a drug addict or alcoholic cry out a lonely prayer in a gutter without one single other human being around, but He also knows if that precious person’s family and friends were also praying for them they would have a safe place to come home to and heal. He knew we need each other. A prayer request, a prayer chain a National Day of Prayer, whatever we call it, we need it!  God doesn’t need to hear a number of prayers to answer one. He just needs a number of people to believe one prayer can be answered.

Hope this answered your question and you are right…. if I had to go to church or be in a formal setting to pray, I would NEVER get a single thing done. And who would rule over the Ninja Squirrels to defeat the Idgets??? I am so happy that no matter where I am or what I am doing, I can talk to God.  So go ahead and have a little talk with Jesus! It does a body good!

Signed, 

Squirrely Girl

GONE WITH THE WIND....

Or….

The Good, The Bad, and The Stupid

Dear Squirrely Girl,

I thought you might could help me with this, you seem pretty honest with people and don’t mind hurting their feelings so…please HELP! I have been dating this awesome girl for about 6 months. I really thought this was the one. She is the type of girl you want to take home to your mama. She is a good Christian girl, sweet and loving. She is pretty and has a good personality. We enjoy talking and doing things together. She had just broke up with a horrible boyfriend. He cheated on her, treated her bad and lied to her all the time.

She said she was thankful to meet a nice guy like me and I thought everything was fine, but now she says she needs to give him a second chance. So after all the good times we have had she is going back to a scumbucket??? Why? Why do good girls seem to go after bad boys? I don’t understand and not sure what to do. I know he will just break her heart again…should I be here when she needs me again? I know you will say no…but I really do love her.

Signed, The Good Boy

Dear The Good Boy (Bless Your Little Pea-Pickin’ Heart),

I hope I have never hurt anyone’s feelings…unless of course it was for their own good…then no apology necessary..but you have come to the perfect place with this question. I will try my best not to hurt your feelings but sometimes the truth is just downright brutal I must warn you. I can already tell you really are a very 'good' boy and I have some really 'good' news for you.

 Your problem is not unique. Your problem goes all the way back to one of the ultimate movies of all time “Gone With The Wind”.  Remember how Scarlett thought she was all in love with Ashley (aka scumbucket)? Sure, Ashley seemed like the “good boy” in the movie compared to the“bad boy” Rhett (aka hunk). But that was just a brilliant plot by Margaret Mitchell. Ashley (scumbucket) was ‘unattainable” …that is why Scarlett was so obsessed with him in the beginning and that.. my dear Good Boy.. is exactly where the secret lies. Everyone thinks of Rhett (aka hunk) as being the ‘bad boy’ because he was a rogue and treated her like the brazen independent smart woman she really was…but she was not obsessed with Rhett..until….wait for it….wait for it….he was ‘unattainable’ and by then…well, he frankly... just didn’t give a damn.

You see,  Ashley was the ‘bad boy’ because he was weak and needy and seriously wishy washy.  Scarlett felt like he ‘needed her’.(There’s the magic words.)  Rhett, on the other hand, was bold and unafraid. Rhett didn’t need saving and he knew Scarlett didn’t need saving either. He knew she was a strong woman and a good woman. YES...Scarlett was a good woman despite her name. Who else would help ‘birth the baby’ of the woman who took her man? Who else would make everyone work in the fields so they could eat and not put up with their constant whining, run a lumber mill, shoot an intruder and  wear green velvet curtains to seduce a man? That takes a woman who knows herself. That takes a good woman who was just a little screwed up.  Rhett saw that and he saw so much more but still Scarlett spurned him at every turn for whom? The one SHE COULD NOT HAVE and the one she thought she needed to save.

So believe it or not, a good girl choosing a ‘bad boy’ over you is actually a compliment. Trust Squirrely Girl on this one. No real woman reads or watches ‘Gone With The Wind’ and walks away in love with Ashley ‘Scumbucket’ Wilkes. No, they walk away wanting and being passionately in love with Rhett ‘Good Boy Hunk’ Butler.

Before you disagree with me, think about it. Rhett spoiled Scarlett rotten. He bought her everything she wanted, he took her to New Orleans for their honeymoon where she had the biggest tray of desserts I have EVER seen. He paid for her to fix up Tara and then bought her a mansion in Atlanta. And what did Scarlett do? She longed for ‘poor Ashley’. She decided being his “savior” was more important than enjoying a relationship with her equal. I wish I could explain why girls do this but I think it may have something to do with W, X, Y and Z chromosomes or something like that, I don’t do biology, but I am sure there is some scientific reason. The fact is …Scarlett grows up at the end of the movie. A little late…maybe…but when she becomes a real woman she is no longer attracted to the ‘bad boy’…she wants a real “GOOD MAN”.

I know it all seems really stupid and makes no sense whatsoever. Well, as a woman I can tell you, nothing we do ever will. The sooner you accept that little reality the better off you will be altogether. But promise me that you will hold out for the good girl who grows up to be a real woman who wants a Good Man like you. And I promise you…it will be worth the wait!

Signed ~ Squirrely Girl

Mama Bess' Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits and Love

Maybe We Shouldn't Love People With Food...yeah...whatever...

So many people have requested Mama Bess' recipe for the perfect biscuit, so I am going to share it. But let me say...the reason her biscuits were so perfect and special had less to do with the recipe and more to do with the love she put in each one. Keep this in mind as you have fun making these for your family!

Mama Bess' Homemade Buttermilk Biscuits

(Preserved with love and wonderful memories by Squirrely Girl, aka “that baby”)

The stuff you will need to make ‘em:

1. An iron skillet is the best thing for making biscuits; if you don’t have one…then stop reading this right now and go out and get you one. Until then you can use one of those new fangled 13 x 9 baking pan contraptions. 

2. A can of Crisco or lard-depending on what decade you are living in. (directions to follow on how to use the Crisco or lard.)

3. About 6 cups of self-rising flour (Don’t go cheap on this. Get you some good old Martha White, Gold Metal or White Lilly flour. Cheap flour makes cheap heavy biscuits and it may say “pre-sifted” but they are probably lying. You should still sift it again if you want a nice light and fluffy biscuit. So get yourself a flour sifter, they are fun and the kids love siftin’ flour).

4. Some buttermilk-- I will get as exact with that measurement as I can later, so just get you a gallon so you know you will have enough. And please for the love of all that is good and right in this world, don’t get ‘fat free’ or ‘reduced fat buttermilk’. If you are making biscuits, a diet should be the last thing on your mind. Biscuits are for making memories and sopping up gravy, not for making you slim and trim.

*Extra Mama Bess hint: If you do not have buttermilk you can use heavy cream mixed with a little water (gooooood) or if you just have milk, add some sour cream for a really flaky biscuit.

So there you have it. Everything you need to make a perfect biscuit. Skillet, grease, flour and liquid, that is it! Now we will patty cake patty cake, baker's man, roll 'em up, roll 'em up....put it all together and throw it in the pan.

This is how you make ‘em:

Sift your flour in a nice big bowl, make a hole that looks like a little crater in the middle of the flour with your fist, (or fork if you don’t like to get your hands dirty…scratch that…if you don’t like to get your hands dirty…you can’t make a good biscuit). But you can use a fork for this part .You will put in about  1 cup of the Crisco/lard right smack dab in the middle of the hole then add about…well…1 ½ cup of the buttermilk to begin with (*Mama Bess favorite saying, “You can always add more but you can’t take it away!” Start mixing with your hands or your fork until it has the consistency of ..well..not too sticky but not too dry. You may have to add a little more buttermilk to get it into a nice soft ball of dough. If you think you have added too much, if it is really sticky..add some more flour.

( Listen --this is an art form, you may not get it right the very first time. You will start getting a feel for when the dough is right…it is part of the fun. So--have fun with it. If you mess up just roll it all out, cut it into strips and throw it in some boiled chicken broth and you have dumplings, the next best thing to biscuits.)

This is when you put that fork down, roll up your sleeves and get your hands into it. Just add a little flour and roll that dough around until you get a nice little ball, not too much, the more you fool with the dough the tougher your biscuits will be. Once you get it into that perfect cloud of dough, you can roll it out and cut them out (if you want those perfect little sissy city biscuits) or you can make a ‘real’ biscuit by pinching off about a golf ball (for normal) or baseball (for cat’s head) size of dough in your hand, roll it round ‘till it feels just right and place it in your greased pan, then pat it lightly with love and just a tad bit of vegetable oil and put ‘em in an already heated up (fancy folks call that 'pre-heated') hot oven around 450 degrees for about 15 to 20 minutes depending on your oven. When they look like they are getting a little brown around the edges (and this is important) you open the oven, pat them lightly again with some more love to make sure they are rising just right--then you turn the oven on broil and DO NOT leave that stove for any reason whatsoever—(I mean even if your youngest child ‘that baby’ has her finger caught in the “ringer” of the old washing machine and crying bloody murder) you stay right there until they are the perfect shade of 'done'.

Then you will take them out, put butter on top to make ‘em purty, then serve ‘em up hot with jelly or syrup or mater gravy and look at the faces of your family. You have just made yourself “ indispensable”!

Much love and happy biscuit makin' ~ Squirrely Girl

I Am The First To Say I Was Wrong

Once Upon A Time….

I started working with children as a pre-school teacher at a church over 30 years ago and it changed my life forever. I was expecting my first child but I was no stranger to taking care of kids. Most of my nieces and nephews sort of ‘grew up’ with me and I was absolutely positive I was a much better parent to all of them than their birth parents. They remind me often now that they were pretty much ‘babysitting’ me the whole time and they would be CORRECT!  But I was so very blessed to be a part of their lives.

The fact is, I was only familiar with children who were loved, safe and secure most of my life until that year. That year I saw mothers bring their children to me each morning to go to jobs that did not pay enough to put food on the table or they had jobs they were not properly trained for or the basic education to ensure success and they were soon unemployed again. More importantly, I saw Annie. Of course I have changed her name for her protection but I think her story may shed some light on my ...shall we say...somewhat strong opinions. 

Annie had the biggest and most beautiful eyes that sparkled like the stars. She would crawl up in my lap and look at me with a smile I will never forgot.  Annie understands why I am discouraged tonight. Annie understands why we all must take a step back and look at things a different way.

Annie was 4 years old when I met her, her little brother and her mom. Her mom was definitely struggling with various problems. An abusive relationship, addiction, lack of education, no formal training for any job and she lived in a prison of fear and uncertainty. What I heard from many of the elders of the church was she needed to take responsibility for herself and turn from her sins. But all I could see was Annie and her little brother who did not understand any of those things.  Annie’s mother didn’t get the help she needed. The politically correct philosophy of the day said it was all up to her and that we could not help those who won’t help themselves. I believed them and soon put Annie and her brother out of my mind until about 10 years later.

I saw Annie again, this time as her counselor in a summer youth work program.  She was just as beautiful as always but did not have the same sparkle in her eyes. She was still bright and did very well and I was so happy to have the opportunity to work with her again, but six weeks of summer did not allow for the intervention that Annie and her mother still needed. The next year Annie was pregnant with her first child at the age of 15.  She faced some of the same problems her own mother faced. The politically correct philosophy of the day said it was all up to her and that we could not help those who won’t help themselves and that Annie needed to learn to take responsibility for her actions.  I believed them and soon put Annie and her child out of my mind until about 10 years later.

I met with Annie and her daughter in my office where they came for assistance because they had been evicted from their home and were couch surfing between friends and family. So many problems and barriers for them both. The political philosophy of the day said….who cares anymore what it says?  The powers that be do not look at these faces every day or every year or every ten years. If I had done the right thing by Annie‘s mother years ago. If I had realized back then …whatever I did for Annie’s mother I was doing for Annie and Annie’s children and one day their children….maybe things would be different.

Of course we have to stress personal responsibility. Of course some will take advantage of any help we give them. Of course we can never predict which ones will and which ones will not benefit from a little support. But I would much rather err of the side of too much help than not enough. What is wrong with us? Why are we so caught up in the idea that all people who need help are out to scam somebody?

I actually heard these words from a church member very recently, “We just don’t help people on welfare or food stamps anymore. It is just a form of slavery and we cannot encourage or support those people on that path.”  Really??  Did that really just come out of that well meaning wonderful person’s mouth? YES it did. And I wept. And I believe Jesus wept also. You don’t know what might have happened in any person’s life to be where they are. You don’t know if a young and inexperienced person like me might have missed the opportunity to offer the full support that the child and mother needed at the time.

God forgive me and forgive all of us who do not stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves because they might not know how. It is a sad reflection of where we are in this country when a comedian gets the whole concept more than some preachers and church members:

 “If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don’t want to do it” ~ Steve Colbert

If I see one more quote about welfare like “We work so you don’t have to” I am going to ask whoever repeats or post it, “What have you done personally to make sure they can work? How much time have you spent with that particular individual to find out their whole story? Have you ever volunteered to talk to them for an hour and see how you might help?”

I am not saying there are not abuses. I have done this for a very very long time. I know that exist but I can tell you it is not as broad as most think. And whose job is it to worry about that anyway? Our commandment is to offer help to those who appear to be in need of help --not to evaluate their motive. That will eventually take care of itself… I promise. There is a huge misunderstanding that those of us who seek any government grants are just adding to the problem by building a dependence on assistance programs. Most of us are not doing that, we are just acknowledging that we all need a little help here and there. I am all for people pulling themselves up by the bootstraps…I just want them to have some boots to put some straps on..is that too much to ask?

I hear the terms ‘socialist’ and ‘redistribution’ thrown around like they mean ‘robbery’ or ‘burglary’. Half the time no one even knows their true definition. Do we really believe that almost half of all Americans had rather live off handouts than to be independent and successful on their own? If we do... we are in much worse shape than we thought. Ambition may not be instilled by a drug addicted mother who never heard the word or an absentee father who has never sat across the table from his son. Have we truly lost every last semblance of empathy? And I didn’t say sympathy, we don’t need to feel sorry for people and give them charity, we need to give them respect as a fellow citizen. That does not mean saying, “Cut them off completely from any help to teach them a lesson.” That means giving them the same tools some of us had growing up and a fair chance to compete in the game of life.

People love to quote Reagan about the  “City On A Hill”…but the original quote came from John Winthrop, a Puritan leader who also said: 

For this end, we must be knit together in this work as one man, we must entertain each other in brotherly affection, we must be willing to abridge our selves of our superfluities for the supply of others' necessities. We must uphold a familiar commerce together in all meekness, gentleness, patience and liberality. We must delight in each other, make others' conditions our own, rejoice together, mourn together, labor, and suffer together, always having before our eyes our commission and community in the work, our community as members of the same body. So shall we keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace, the Lord will be our God and delight to dwell among us, as His own people and will command a blessing upon us in all our ways, so that we shall see much more of His wisdom, power, goodness, and truth then formerly we have been acquainted with.

I don’t know about you …but I think Winthrop…ROCKS!

Signed ~ Squirrely Girl

The Wizard of Oz and Snake Boy....Or

Everything you ever need to know about life and then some..

Snake Boy and Squirrely Girl Discuss Deep Stuff

Dear Squirrely Girl,

What is the story behind your obsession with the Wizard of Oz? Why do you love that movie so much? I know I grew up with my eyes glued to scenes of computerized dinosaurs attacking porta potties and tween vampire lovers stutter through lines, but what is it about the subtlety of Oz that you cherish? What are your thoughts and feelings about the remake staring the dude who smoked a pipe in Pineapple Express? Pop a bag of popcorn and snuggle on the couch next to your dog Willy and think long and hard about this light hearted topic. Take us back to 19~cough~cough~70 something and paint us a picture of your childhood.

Signed ~
Snake boy

Dear Snake Boy,

Let me see if I can wipe the cobwebs from my brain and let the memories light the corners of my mind to remember why “The Wizard of Oz” is the biggest, bestest, super, duper, fantastical movie EVER made. You really didn’t have to kiss up by saying my childhood took place sometime in the ~cough~cough~70’s. You know I was a teen sporting the Farrah Fawcett, Charlie’s Angel’s wings’ hairdo in the 70’s. No, my obsession with the great and powerful Oz came in the wild and crazy 60’s..not sure of the year, but I was probably just learning to walk because it is my first memory. Why do I love it so? Well, I will tell you why…because….it answers almost all of life’s most important questions and teaches us lessons in both black and white AND Technicolor. Does it get any better? Plus…any movie plot centered on a pair of shoes is a winner in my book. But here are the life lessons:

Lesson 1. Family is important. And family is family, even if it is not the ‘traditional family’.  Dorothy lived with Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. We don’t know why. We don’t care. Maybe her parents died, maybe they were just on vacation, maybe they were in jail. We don’t even think about it. We know Auntie Em and Uncle Henry love her very much and she loves them.

Lesson 2. Friends and co-workers are important. Sure-- Auntie Em scolded Hickory, Hunk and Zeke when they were trying to save Dorothy from those hogs in the pig pen and pretty much called them lazy bums but she turned right around and gave them some cornbread because she knew they were looking out for her precious niece who was just about to drive her crazy with that little yelping dog. She had no idea that they would magically turn into a scarecrow, a tin man and a lion before the day was done. But she saw great potential.

Lesson 3.  Good neighbors are important. There is nothing that can make your life more miserable than a bad, ornery, neighbor who hates your pet and rides a bike or flies on a broom. Although, Auntie Em taught us that even the most evil person who might hurt our loved ones…should not be confronted with the “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth” philosophy…she said ‘For twenty years I have been wanting to tell you what I think of you..but being a Christian woman…”.. then she ran away. We all know she did that because she was about to pop a knot on old Miss Gulch’s head.

Lesson 4.  The Weather Channel is important. The entire drama could have been avoided. Really--- who runs away from home right in the middle of a major low pressure system??

Lesson 5. Being spontaneous is important. Curiosity may kill the cat but it will also get a small town girl out of the middle of nowhere and into a brand new world where good witches have incredible fashion sense and live in bubbles with munchkins who are born in bird’s nest and bad witches live in castles with a long-nosed army and flying monkeys and …wait …did you say they were re-making this movie with somebody who smoked something??? Sounds legit.

Lesson 6. Hearts, brains, courage, and home are REALLY important. Let’s face it, the whole movie sums up the most important things we should know as humans in this world. We need to have a brain to function but the ones who think they have one just keep getting in the way of the ones who actually do. We all need a heart to love and be loved but occasionally it overrides the brain and we just end up rusting in the rain, waiting for someone to come along and rescue us with an oil can. We absolutely must have courage to use either one, but no matter how brave we are..we still run in fear from the pain we cause by pulling our own tail. But maybe with a small combination of all three, we just might find our way home, where things were not perfect but people love us just the way we are.

Lesson 7: The bottom line is important. And the bottom line is this:

You can do okay on your own but the journey is much better with friends.

Family comes in all shapes and sizes but the love is the same…when you hurt they hurt so stop pulling your own tail.

Treat your employees and co-workers with respect cause you never know when you might really need them.

Our biggest enemy is not a wicked witch or lions or tigers or bears or even spooks.. it is ourselves.

People in charge are often not what they appear to be. So remember-- your favorite teacher, preacher, boss, or politician may have just floated in on a hot air balloon because they got booted from a traveling carnival where they once wore a turban on their head and talk to themselves while staring at a glass ball.

Maintain self-control-- even when you find out after the most terrifying day and night of your life that you could have just clicked your pretty little shoes together and been back in the safety of your own bed....Thanks a lot for nothing Miss bubble ridin’ sparkly dress with a crown as tall as the Eiffel Tower good yankee witch. I should knock you upside the head with this basket I have had to carry for the last twenty four hours with only that 2 minute nap in a poppy field....I digress…

And last but not least, there is nothing more fun than linking arms with some good friends and skipping while singing down a brick road. That actually takes some coordination, did you know that?

Everyone thinks the moral to this award winning epic story is there’s no place like home but it is really about making your neighbors jealous that you were the first one to get a color tv so you could really appreciate that one scene where she opens the door to the Technicolor world otherwise known as Munchkin Land. And if I had been Dorothy I would have stayed right there and took the mayor’s job and run that itsy bitsy kingdom where all the Munchkins waited on me hand and foot and fed me something chocolate with a side of Hershey’s syrup every single day.

And that, Snake Boy, is why I am obsessed with The Wizard of Oz…the limitless possibilities.

 Signed~

Squirrely Girl