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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Snake Boy Replies....

Snake Boy Replies and Civil War Breaks Out

Or..Back To The Future Part Four

Dear Squirrely Girl,

Wow I haven’t had this much interrogation since the feds shut down my Farmville. Well, let’s start with the tattoos. I really don’t understand the reason why one wishes to mark their carcass with all that ink. To me, body art mostly distracts from the God made natural beauty. I guess it is a way to “express” one’s self in a culture where criminal records and teenage pregnancy is “all the rage.”
When it comes to vampires, there is no explanation. I briefly participated in the whole pale man, bloodsucking, evil sorcery thing, but six months is all I could take of the Republican Party. 

There are plenty of reasons for remaking all the classics, because the classics suck in the eyes of the target consumer (aka pre-teen girls). My generation likes high definition, a lot of action, brief nudity, and a vampire or two. As far as originality goes in regards to television, the Jersey Shore beats Dallas right out of the park. Snooki would fist pump J.R. to death (yes I had to Google a Dallas pop culture reference because I have never heard of it). 
I have no comment of the music question. I don’t want to get on my soapbox about the constipated attempts of today’s “musical superstars.” 

We text the people sitting across from us because real human interaction scares the crap out of us. The world has never been so connected yet so far apart. It’s the irony of today’s society. I have yet to figure out how to be a nurse without being around people. . . . oy

Signed Snake Boy

Dear Snake Boy,
Well, my young whippersnapper/apprentice…I have to tell you I am a little worried about your generation’s future. I have been to the mountain, (figuratively, you know I am not climbing nothing) looked over it and I don’t like what I see at all, no sirree bob. You know what I see? Well, I will tell you what I see--I see a little civil war on the horizon--without Scarlett and the pretty dresses and big beautiful plantations being burned to a crisp--but a civil war just the same. I can talk to 10 people in one day and 5 will tell me their truth and 5 will tell me their truth and the two do not come anywhere close to being the same. Now you know how I hate math, but even in my simple little brain that equals, either one has it all right and the other has it all wrong OR they both have it a little right and a little wrong. But what do you think the chances are either side will admit that? Yeah, I got a better chance of filling out Dolly Parton’s rhinestone and sequins blouse.

My theory is we are heading for a secession of people with walking around sense from people who wouldn’t touch an open mind with a ten foot pole. Yep, I think you will wake up one morning and find a whole bunch of people living in the new country called “Mine All Mine”.  Their National Anthem will be “I Hear Ya Knockin’ But You Can’t Come In” and their bird will be a Parrot, because it will only repeat what they say so they will not have to ever hear an opposing opinion. In the nation of “Mine All Mine” they will pay no taxes, have no public anything. If you want it or need it, you will pay for it yourself because you must have a job in Mine All Mine. If you are too lazy to get a job you will not eat, it is that simple. Personal responsibility will be a requirement to live in Mine All Mine. That’ll teach the lazy bums living like parasites off hard honest workers. Of course if you happened to be one of those hard honest workers who happens to get sick and you can’t work, or you just get too old to work anymore…well…sorry but you will have to be deported to the ‘other’ country, “Try A Little Kindness”. 

It will not be exactly like the war between the north and south because these two countries do not want to be united so there will be little to no bloodshed---and because Mine All Mine will have all the guns and it is just no fun shooting people who don’t shoot back. 
As you can see there are pro’s and con’s to living in either country and it will be hard to decide which one you prefer—so there will be those handful of people who start another country called “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along”.  I don’t know where you will live. I am hoping they will create some sort of passport where you can move around a little and see what best fits your temperament.  But you will need to make a decision eventually because trust me on this one—we cannot continue to be a “United States”. Because it is not possible for people to live together and call themselves a country united when they are obviously a country divided forever.

IMHO ~ Squirrely Girl


  1. A seriously sad and yet on-target assessment... Praying for an influx of God's grace...

  2. Thank you Keaton for your insights AND sense of humor

  3. Dear Squirrely Girl,

    Even though the recent 47 and 53 percent figures are close, they are not by any means equally divided (not sure where those numbers came from). As playful as your post was though, it really has some serious merit. I imagine that our generation must feel like it is in a face paced time warp. Having seen and used hand plows, galvenized tub baths, outhouses, transistor radios and party line telephone wires in my time and then rapid cooking in microwaves, commodore 64, the first nintendo, cd, dvd and now the smart phone...I have to wonder if life in general is better or worse.

    Don't get me wrong, I love love love airconditioning, downy softened towels and sheets that aren't stiff from drying on a clothes line. I enjoy my fingertip freedom as I surf the world exploring and in search of the adventures of my ancestors. I detest dusty books that make me sneeze and the internet seems to have all of the good works with more being written every day.

    Doesn't it make you wonder what we're really here for? While the avenues for learning are a lot different for our generation (than they were for those before us) aren't the lessons the same? Learning to love and be loved, learning to forgive and be forgiven, learning to wait and learning to patiently wait, learning to obey and practicing obedience and willingly being submissive to our God? I think it is simple
    even amid the horror and fright in this world to trust that God can work all of this out in time. In the grand scheme of things, it is not going to matter to him if we are part of the 47% or the 53% or if we even took a side. It is easy to get sidetracked with our media these days. Believe it or not, I long for the days of the cubical at work where I could hide from the talk of the day.

    It has become evident to me within the last few years that the rules of life are simple. We've understood them in some form since kindergarten. Adult life has the same rules in more complex varieties. And now since I'm so tired from blogging on your page, I think I will copy and paste this to my own blog. I'll wait for responses there. :) And remember, don't hit people especially people that "snort".
    Robert Fulghum said it best http://www.kalimunro.com/learned_in_kindergarten.html