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Monday, July 23, 2012

Chicken, Lions and Jokers

Chicken, Lions, and Jokers …

Or…..Stuck somewhere in the middle…

What a week. We don’t turn on the news to necessarily be “cheered up”. But some weeks are just worse than others. This past week has been unusually bad. Innocent lives lost in a horrible and senseless tragedy when all they did was go to see a movie. Children, mothers, brothers, sisters, soldiers… all gone in one act of madness and evil that left us all a little numb. I think we all agreed it was horrible. But the news barely broke before the fighting began. The “Don’t Touch My Freakin’ Guns” vs. “All Guns Are Bad” debate was fast and furious. Before the bodies were removed from the theater, the Facebook pics and status updates were being posted like an old fashion night at a drag strip.  Everything from “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” to “I wish access to mental health was as easy as access to guns”.   Although, I think most of us fell somewhere in the middle.

Most of us believe there should be some regulations on who can buy guns and what kind of guns they can buy. Almost all my responsible gun loving friends say they have no problem with a ban on assault weapons, they say they have no need of anything capable of shooting 100 rounds at one time or 6000 rounds of ammo and admit if the crazed gunmen had needed to reload, there might have been a chance of someone to take him down before he did so much damage. And my anti-gun friends say they don’t think a ban on all guns would work anyway. The voice of common sense is drowned by a few who think it must be one way or the other. And maybe we shouldn’t have a speed limit, because it will take away our freedom to feel the “need for speed”. Too much freedom may not be all it is cut out to be.

Then Chick-fil-A said it didn’t like gay people. Well, they said something like that. Apparently, they felt the need as a restaurant to share their religious beliefs with the whole world. Not sure what that has to do with a chicken sandwich, but they certainly have a right to do that. This is America and there is absolutely nothing that says a private business cannot state their religious beliefs. But the reactions have been confusing. It is okay to agree with them, or disagree with them, but do we really need to have a “Chick Fil A Appreciation Day” to support them or a “Same Sex Kiss Day” to protest them?  God knows how you feel if you agree with them, he doesn’t need you to eat a chicken sandwich to prove that and if you support your gay friends they don’t need you kissin’ on each other either. No matter what your belief, maybe both sides should agree that we should just love everybody. It is like we are in some sort of competition to see who can make who the maddest. While that might be human, it certainly isn’t Christian. And aren’t we supposed to be setting the standard of brotherly love? However, I would like to see a few other restaurants make a statement that they don't like gossip, adultery, lying, greed and gluttony. I might have to actually at least throw a Ninja Squirrel party there.

And last but not least, the statue of Joe Paterno finally came down. I have to be very careful here, because I am going to be completely honest. When it comes to what happened at the Home of the Litany Lions, I lose my religion a little. Actually, I lose my religion a lot. I found myself cheering and I don’t mean just saying “hurrah” I mean like getting out my old pom poms, jumping up and down trying to do a Chinese split again (Dr.’s appointment tomorrow). Thinking about those who would put a sport ahead of the lives of innocent children jacks my jaw and burns my cheeks (as the Gator would say).  I think it is one of the most disgusting things to happen in the history of our country. Yes, even worse than the mad gunman. He is obviously a sick human being. We may never understand what goes on in one psychopath’s brain, but this was a group of educated men. 

These were men who parents entrusted the well-being of their most precious possession. And they conspired and they ignored and they put selfishness, power, pride and a football record ahead of all decency. It is hard to feel charity and forgiveness for that sort of offense. I have to remember that God said he loved the “whole” world, even those who seem despicable to me. The bible says we are all like “filthy rags” but I can’t help it, some of the rags just look a lot dirtier to me than others. So I am guilty, guilty of thinking I can know what is and what is not justice. God’s justice is not mine and that is probably very lucky for me. My prayer is that we all find a way to stop being “all or nothing”.  When we are debating--and I think we should—let’s listen as much as we talk. Maybe being stuck in the middle on some things is not the worst place to be.

IMHO ~ Squirrely Girl

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I Don't Need Nothing or Nobody


Or….It’s Shake ‘n Bake…and I Helped….

My favorite commercial of all times has to be Shake ‘n Bake where the little girl says, “And I helped” with the most southern slang slow drawl that I have ever heard, and I am a pretty southern slang slow drawl talkin’ gal.  Oh, those were the days when needing help and giving help was not such a horrible thing.

People are all up in arms and having a good old fashioned 2 year old temper tantrum over Barrack Obama saying “You didn’t do that by yourself.” He might as well have just went ahead and shot Mickey Mouse. How dare he say such a thing, this is AMERICA. Where you work hard, you build a business, you become successful. It is how this country was founded. Those pioneers taking off across the prairie in those covered wagons, not knowing what they would find but with the courage and the work ethic to just go for it!  Of course they usually had a wagon train-- you know-- where they all traveled together because apparently they felt there was safety in numbers. They would form a circle at night to protect each other. I know, I grew up watching Wagon Train and Little House on The Prairie. They all worked together and helped each other. When the Ingalls needed a barn or their neighbor needed a barn, they all came together and built a barn, had some good food and then little pig tail Laura wrote about it in her little diary thingy.

But that was the “good old days”. We don’t need that sort of crap anymore. We are better alone now. It is each man for himself, no more “we”…it is all about ME. We don’t need those roads and interstates or the truck drivers who take groceries or merchandise to our stores so we can sell them in “our” business to other people. We don’t need the garbage men or people who clean the streets so people can get into “our” business. We did it all by ourselves. Nobody helped us build anything. We are an island. We don’t need nobody or nothing. We don’t need customers to buy our goods, we don’t need the airwaves to advertise our goods and we certainly don’t need anyone telling us that we need anybody or anything.

This is America, home of the free and the brave. We don’t need the government sending the armed forces out there to protect us. We have our own guns. If somebody comes in our front yard, we will take care of them on our own thank you very much. Do you think for one minute that Henry Ford needed anyone to help him invent the Model T, assembly line and mass production??? Well …as a matter of fact …he did. Shocked?  Henry Ford had lots of help as a matter of fact.

He was first a machinist in Detroit, someone gave him a job. When he got tired of that and went home to his family farm where he learned how to run a Westinghouse steam engine. Westinghouse later hired him to service their engines. He also got a job with Edison Illuminating where he made enough money to start experimenting with gas engines and well…we sort of know how the story ends. The fact is without the family farm, Westinghouse, Edison and the business college he attended, we might all still be riding around on a horse and buggy. Sure, he had to put forth the effort, he had to work hard. But it would not have mattered if all the other inventions and knowledge before him had not existed. Every successful giant has stood on the shoulders of someone before them. So what is wrong with saying, “You didn’t do that by yourself”? When taken out of context it doesn’t sound very good, but if you listen to the words before that statement you would have heard …we are all in this together. We all need each other to prosper and grow and continue to be the great nation we say we are.

Only in politics would someone take something so well meaning and true and turn it into a horrible thing. We have to stop listening to what people tell us other people mean and listen for ourselves. If I listen to only one source of news, I would believe that Mitt Romney put his poor family dog in a cage on top of the car and drove down the road while it was puking and having diarrhea because he hates dogs and is cruel and inhumane.  I think he made a bad judgment call by thinking that his dog enjoyed that, but I don’t think he is a monster.

And I don’t even mind people fighting over Obama and Romney and lying about what they said or didn’t say. What I do mind are those who proclaim they follow Christ saying there is something evil about saying “You didn’t do that by yourself” We all know we never walk alone. We are supposed to be all about brotherly love, our brother’s keeper, taking care of one another, loving one another and yet it makes us mad when someone says “You didn’t do that by yourself.” Really???

I got my first real job because someone I knew put in a word for me with someone they knew. You know, that old, “it’s not what you know but who you know”? And I am thankful. I tell people all the time about being too afraid to even ask someone for a job. They opened a door for me. It was up to me to walk through that door, but I might not have had the courage without some help. I could not have got a college degree without my wonderful high school teachers, I would have never finished high school without the basics of my elementary school and I would have NEVER left Captain Kangaroo every morning to get on that school bus if my family had not threatened me within an inch of my life. I need people and I know people need me and I think THAT is what makes us the great nation we say we are. I pray we have not truly forgotten where we came from and where we would be without those who came before us. And I hope we continue to encourage those who will go forward….with a little help.

With all due respect, ~~Squirrely Girl

Monday, July 16, 2012

Faith of a Mustard Seed

Faith of a Mustard Seed or …

The miracle of the Fried Green Tomatoes

Have you ever seen fruit or vegetables grow from a dead tree or plant? I have. I just went out to my garden and though it is brown and obviously dead and covered with weeds, I just picked some beautiful big Green Tomatoes and a bag full of shiny red cherry tomatoes, some banana, red and green peppers and a couple of perfect cucumbers. I am not making this up. I have enough real life crazy stuff that goes on everyday in this maniac life of mine to have to make anything up.

I couldn’t believe it! There they were like a little gift from God. Completely against everything that all my green thumb ancestors ever taught me about a garden. You sow it, you keep it up by hoeing and weeding and watering and loving it and talking to it every day and you reap the reward. Hard work + diligence + patience= all the good veggies and fruit you could ever ask for (and FRIED GREEN TOMATOES).  But I haven’t been doing any of that lately. I have ignored my little garden and pretty much given up hope that it would continue feeding my growing Fried Green Tomato addiction. My job keeps me pretty busy. It is hard to schedule when a homeless family might need your undivided attention. Couple that with my overwhelming need to be lazy on the weekends…you are just asking for a dead garden.

But there it was this morning, green tomatoes, ripe tomatoes, cucumbers and peppers of every size and degree of hotness, just waiting for me to harvest.  Maybe God wanted to say, “Well done, my true and faithful servant”.  He knows I have been lax in going to church like I should, in reading my bible and studying like I should. He also knows I have felt guilty about it and expecting a “dry patch” of blessings. But just like always, He shows up just when I need Him. He reminded me that His eye is on the sparrow and the lily. He knows every bleached hair on my head. He knows every tear that falls and every heart that is breaking... so why couldn’t he just bring forth a green tomato from a dead plant? He healed the sick and made the dead man rise. And I expect so little from him each day. "You don't have it, 'cause you don't ask for it!"  (I am paraphrasing there a little.)

I think it was not a test of my faith as much as a ‘reminder’ of my faith. I still get caught up in being so unworthy of God’s grace, mercy and goodness that I forget he is not only 'worthy' …he is ‘able’. It was a gentle but healthy dose of “You do what you are supposed to and let me take care of the rest, kiddo."

My expectation of what God found acceptable was different from his. Sort of like the story of Cain. He brought as a sacrifice what he “thought” God would be pleased with, “look at me, look how hard I worked and what I did” not really seeking the heart of God. I was tasked with “getting over myself” for a little while. To put my needs way back on the back burner and stop worrying about my own happiness for a change. It seemed impossible. My heart was breaking. I felt alone and scared and my feelings were just plain out, old fashioned ‘hurt’.  But the more I concentrated on others, the more it helped. It didn’t make the pain go away, but I stopped dwelling on it. It didn’t change the circumstances but it changed the way I reacted to them. And low and behold, I got my dog back and more FRIED GREEN TOMATOES.

To me….my poor garden looked dead, worthless and unproductive…to God it looked like a good place to make a miracle happen! I think he looks at me the same way sometimes.  Wow...and I don't say that lightly...Wow!

With love and gratitude for all your prayers~~ Squirrely Girl

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Pickin' on Squirrely Girl

 Pickin' on Squirrely Girl.....

Or....Gurrrrrl, You Better Check Yourself

Dear Squirrely Girl,
Are you a doctor or a psychiatrist or psychologist? What makes you think you are qualified to give advice or that you know any more answers than Tom, Dick or Harry? You know you can get in trouble for giving people advice in public, but maybe if you told us why you think you are qualified or why we should read or listen to anything you say, that might be a start. And why are you obsessed with squirrels? Sounds like you need some help yourself.

Signed ~ A Little Skeptical

Dear A Little Skeptical (and a Little Rude),

I have no qualifications to answer anyone’s questions or give anyone advice…other than OVER A HALF OF A CENTURY of living and breathing and observing people—crazy people, strange people, good people, bad people, big people, little people, people who climb on rocks, fat people, skinny people, even people with chicken pox (sorry I have an obsession with hot dog commercials too) but people in general. Some folks ski, mountain climb, fish, hunt, swim, paint, read, and all sorts of other hobbies. I observe people. That is what I do. I can’t help myself. I observe life around me because it is just AMAZING. So I think I am as qualified as anyone else to offer my little humble opinion about things.

I am not telling people who they should love (although I probably could) or what career they should choose (although I probably should). I am giving my opinion based on years of life experience, my own stupid mistakes, my family and friend’s mistakes along with all our successes. Just like I would share a good well tested recipe with anyone, I think it is only right to share tips for having a more simple and happy life.

For instance, from the tone of your email I would think that you are one who probably questions anything that looks too good to be true. Good quality and smart move…unless of course it keeps you from ever believing anything that is true could be good.  I have found, through experience only mind you, not a degree or license, that people who have been hurt and disappointed many times in their lives usually protect themselves from that by being total A-holes to everyone. If nobody likes you, you don’t have to worry about anyone letting you down. I am in no way saying that is true in your case, I am just saying I have seen it more times than I like to count.It is a safe way to live, but not necessarily the best way to live.

Why shouldn’t I tell human kind that if someone lies to you repeatedly you shouldn’t trust them any further than you could throw Drew Carey before he lost all that weight? Why shouldn’t I tell new mothers that no matter how hard they try they are not going to get it all right and they will make some mistakes so they should just relax and enjoy the miracle of their children growing up before their eyes? Why shouldn’t I warn people that all politicians are probably lying sacks of leftover gummy worms left in the floorboard of a pickup truck on a really hot day, so there is no reason to hate one more than the other? Why? Those are a few of the questions I have for you Ms. A Little Skeptical/A Little Rude. (I know you are a female because a male would never take time to write a letter to someone named Squirrely Girl unless it was in Playboy or something.)

I don’t know Tom, Dick, or Harry. I once knew a Harold and I am positive that I know more than him. If I get in trouble for giving out valuable advice, that will be no different from any other day in my life. I once got in trouble for touching a beautiful white cotton nightgown at the Palace of Versailles in Paris, because apparently you are not suppose to touch things in fancy schmancy stores in Paris unless you are going to buy them, guess they don’t do “lay-a-way” there. (Another story I will write one day called “What to not  FREAKIN’ TOUCH IN PARIS…or 4 Rednecks do Paris”.  And I am not “obsessed” with squirrels. I am only “obsessed” with my Ninja Squirrels because they once saved me from being attacked by crazy suicidal kamikaze birds on a rare “good hair day”. If you don’t understand that, I don’t think you can be my friend and I only give valuable free advice to friends, so …see…you don’t have anything to worry about. But I do need A LOT of help. I need someone to clean my house, do my laundry and clean my pool as we speak. What time would you like to come over? Bring a A&W Root Beer, a bag of gummy worms and something chocolate. We don’t have to be friends for you to clean my house.

Best of luck to you and your future, (where you should loosen up a little, marry a circus clown and stay out of careers that involve being nice to people.)

Sincerely ~~ Squirrely Girl

Friday, July 13, 2012



Or…Can you ever really have enough ways to kill somebody?

Update: I wrote this blog in July of 2012...wow...who would have known how wild the frenzy of "Don't Touch Our Freakin' Guns" would become. A couple of mass murder rampages...dozens of bullets riddling the bodies of kindergartners and first graders. I wrote this in a satire manner...but I knew it was a serious matter even then...I knew this NRA guy was crazy as a loon ..but only until this week did I understand his motivation. The more afraid he can make people-- the more guns they will buy and the more the gun manufactures who are now the backbone of the NRA will make in profits...(not my grandpa's NRA anymore) so remember the next time you support them..they were not above making a dollar off the blood of innocent children...if that seems harsh..well..the truth is often very harsh. 

There is an outrage going on and it is lighting up Facebook, talk shows and “News” shows like a small town in the middle of Nevada. Apparently, somebody is trying to take our GUNS! Can you believe it? Well, that is what they are saying. Some big wig from the NRA (National ..we rather fight than switch, blow something up than talk, shoot now ask questions later...Rifle Association) is on YouTubing giving this passionate speech about “we will not tolerate being attacked”. So I guess it is all pretty serious. I listened to him, because I want to know who is trying to attack us. He never did say, but he sounded pretty sure ‘somebody’ is going to and any day now too! 

I guess he was talking to the UN about some treaty that says we shouldn't be selling guns to other countries because…let’s face it…we can’t trust them. But I guess he thinks that translates to somebody coming in your house and going to your gun cabinet and taking all your personal shot guns or rifles or AK 47 machine guns and he was some sorta mad about that. I would be too if I thought that was what they were doing. I read the treaty, it doesn’t mention anything about anyone doing that, but that doesn’t matter because…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.

It is in that Second Amendment you know, the right to bear arms. I don’t remember that much about history, but from what little I can recall, our forefathers needed guns back in the day when they were fightin’ the British and Indians or each other and it was a really high priority for their well-being and safety. Later on it became more important for Davy Crokett to shoot a bear or did he use his bare hands? Whatever….I do know he wore a raccoon on his head and that is what is really important.  Anyway, they needed their guns, so they put that right at the top of list of things to DON”T FREAKIN’ TOUCH. Like their right to say what they wanted, worship like they wanted, vote like they wanted and all those other really neat things.In my itsy bitsy peroxide induced blonde brain, I am thinking if we compare our times with theirs, I want a NUCLEAR WAR HEAD! So I can really protect myself. 

I live out in the country, folks out here love their guns, L.O.V.E  LOVE them. Hunting season is like mardi gras here. And about 98% of those folks use their guns responsibly and make sure they train their children to do the same. Of course that is not the case everywhere. But if we say that only ‘responsible’ people can have guns…well…it will not matter, because the nuts and psychos are still going to get guns one way or the other. They can go down to Walmart or the local gun shows and get all the guns they want. When is the last time you heard of anyone being turned down from getting a gun? Maybe Ted Bundy or Jason from Friday the 13th would be turned down, but I think they are both dead now, although you can never trust that Jason won’t come back.  And to make it even easier to ensure you can not only keep your gun, they passed a new law a while back that says you can shoot anybody you want if you say they scared you. After all…there will only be one witness left standing to prove that ... YOU…(how convenient is that???) and in Florida, you can walk right in the capital building with a concealed weapon now, no questions asked.

So nobody is trying to come take our guns and we can shoot anybody we want, but still…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them, they make us feel safe. If someone breaks in our house, we want and need the right to shoot that someone. Nobody is arguing with that, not that I have heard or read yet. So far the ATT (Arms Treaty Agreement) doesn’t say a word about personal rights to bear arms in our great nation, it just limits the sale of guns to OTHER countries. How that is translating into taking your BB gun, I don’t know. BUT…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them. Just in case. I even saw a picture all over Facebook with a whole family (including the toddler) with a big gun in their hands on their front porch that said, “We don’t need to call 911, but we will call you a coroner.” Yep, who needs the law? Who needs a society that says we can’t shoot whoever and whatever we want to shoot? We are independent of our country, its rules AND our fellowman. It is our God given freedom for the love of a Saturday Night Special and .44 Magnum.

There is that one little bitty detail that says any international treaty that affects the sale of guns in the US would have to pass the Senate and be subject to constitutional challenges like any law. But who cares about details when somebody is trying to TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS? I need a gun, I also need a knife and a sword and a tank and one of those stealthy thingys that nobody can see so I can REALLY protect myself and my family. I know, I know, we have the biggest armed forces in the world to protect us.... I don’t care. DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!  So if someone can find where it says in this treaty anything other than 'regulates the INTERNATIONAL import and export of small arms', I want to see it with my own eyes. Call me silly, but before I can protest anything I really need to see it with my own eyes and know what it says.  The only thing I do know for sure about this treaty right now is the NRA HATES it and IRAN HATES IT.  Oh lookee, something a few Americans agree with Iran about. Maybe this whole thing will bring us all together and we can share some corn and turkey. Just remember this... we can’t hunt and shoot a turkey if somebody “TOUCHES OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!

P.S. For obvious reasons, the squirrels do not like guns either.

Squirrely Girl now apologizes to every neighbor, family member, FB friend, the NRA, Jason and all others who are passionate about their guns or other weapons, including chain saws. Please do not egg or toilet paper my house. I am just too tired to clean up that sort of mess.

Thank you! 

Thursday, July 12, 2012

It’s All About Me…

Or..How to know when to get over yourself..


I lost my dog. Willy came up missing a few days ago and I thought I would lose my mind. I was worried and sad and hurt and mad and almost every emotion that is negative to the mind, body and soul. I received sympathy, empathy, and understanding along with help searching for him and was overwhelmed with friends and family assuring me that he would return. Instead of being grateful for that support, I just continued to cry and mourn the loss of my precious Willy (aka Prince William future King of England).
What can I say? I was wallowing in self-pity and despair and made up my mind I deserved to be there as long as I wanted. And then something happened. The real world spinning round and round with not even the least bit of concern for my plight brought a new day, and I was appalled. Skeeter Davis said it best: “Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?”

Of course I have felt pain much worse than this. The loss of my brothers, Mama Bess, Daddy Frank, precious friends and family, and each time I ask the same question. Why? Why do bad things have to happen?  Why are good people or good pets taken away from us? Why do we have to hurt?

Let’s face it. I am a professional pity party planner. I could make millions telling people how to feel sorry for themselves. I have perfected the, “I am the only person in the whole wide world who has ever experienced this particular pain” scenario. I think being selfish is innate. I think we are born with that particular capability and some choose to nurture it and watch it grow and some are smart and realize the harm it causes them and others.  I am a late bloomer, always have been. It takes me a little while to let powerful lessons sink in to my stubborn skull.  But after a few days of listening to some stories that would make a grown man weep, I understood that it really isn’t all about me. As a matter of fact, it is not about me at all. 

Some people have never experienced the kind of unconditional love and acceptance I have been blessed with from parents, siblings, friends and even my little scruffy dog.  While I mourn a loss, they pray to have that experience just once in their lives. Maybe it really is better to have been loved and lost it… than to have never been loved at all. Maybe that is what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 16 when He said,  …”deny thyself and follow me”. I don’t think he was saying we should not “love ourselves” but he knew that when we are thinking selfishly, acting selfishly, we are actually denying our most precious gift:  loving others.  There is not a whole lot of energy and love left for others if all we love is “ME”.

Nobody loves shopping more than this old gal. LOVE IT. Love to buy new things to wear or for the house, but that joy is so short lived compared to what I feel when I buy something and give it to someone else. The world is so full of the “Me Message” right now.  Self-esteem, love yourself, etc. and we should love ourselves. We are made in God’s image. When we hate the way we look or anything about ourselves, we are basically thumbing our noses at God and saying, “You screwed up, look at me, what a horrible mess you made!” The reason we should love and accept ourselves for who we are is so we can STOP working on ourselves and start doing more important things. Like maybe encouraging others to be their best. 

If I may quote one of the greatest song writers of all times, John Lennon, “Imagine all the people… living for today.” Imagine if for just one day, I didn’t let ‘me’ cross my mind or you didn’t let ‘you’ cross your mind. What would that be like? If we just took 24 hours of not being ‘me centered” If we just got over ourselves for a day.  Well, they would probably call us ‘dreamers’ just like John. But I think I need to at least give it a try. I don’t think one whole day of putting ME on the back burner will completely ruin my chances of being Queen in the future.  There is plenty of time for me to turn the phrase, “Let them eat (chocolate) cake” into a good thing.
And it is okay for me to miss Willy and to share that pain and burden with family and friends and be thankful I have them to help me through it. As long as I don't put up a tent in "Me Camp".

Squirrely Girl out~ Have a great and nutty day!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Behind The Woodshed

To Spank or Not To Spank...

Or...So this is why I'm crazy..

Dear Squirrely Girl:
I just read this article about spanking kids and I thought I would share it with you and see what what you thought. My mom and dad spanked all of us and I think we are better for it. Today's kids seem totally out of control. Parents seem too lazy to spank their kids are even bother to make them behave, but I don't want to see kids be beat or abused anyway. I guess I am a little confused and have a new baby on the way.  Is there something in between?

"People who were spanked or hit as kids were between two and seven percent more likely to encounter mental issues later, said the research in the journal Pediatrics, based on a retrospective survey of more than 600 US adults."

 Love the picture of the squirrel being held by the angel, so sweet.

Signed ~ A Little Confused

Dear A Little Confused (I have met your cousin "Confused A Lot" and you are much nicer)

The article was pretty interesting. If spankings make people a little crazy that would explain a great deal about me. Just kidding! By the time I came along  Mama Bess and Daddy Frank pretty much said.."Aaaah...what the heck, we are tired."

But...what a great question! And wouldn't it be even greater if I could give you a perfect answer? But-- I can't because to be completely honest, I am still a little confused too about the whole "To Spank or Not To Spank" question myself. All I can really do is tell you my personal experience.

I have always been a pretty proud advocate of the "little time behind the woodshed does a body good" theory. I got spankings as a child and while I never really got that whole “this hurts me more than it hurts you" thingy,  I did understand that when Mama Bess got finish giving me a little whippin’ with a switch-- (which btw, she never ask me to go get.. not once..ever...she knew I was too lazy for that)--- it broke her heart and she did it because she loved me and wanted to protect me from something harmful.  And that is just the God's honest truth right there.

And something harmful was not always me running out in the street or not being in the house before dark or touching something hot. It was also being disrespectful, talking back, making a spectacle of myself and generally not “behaving”.  I never got spanked because I didn't make my bed or broke something by accident or got on her nerves. She used spankings to discipline me because that was how she was raised to be disciplined. But when we know better we do better. Mama Bess once told me that the more kids she had the fewer spankings they got because the older kids warned the younger ones, "if you know what's good for you... you will just behave and be done with it." The most important thing Mama Bess taught me was whatever you use for discipline, be consistent.  If it is okay for them to finger paint on your sheets when you are in a good mood, then you can't spank them for finger painting on your sheets when you are in a bad mood and never ever hit any human being or animal in anger. In her later years, during her last days she told me, "I am not sure you should ever hit a child at all, but if you ever do spank one, you better make sure you have loved them enough for them to believe you when you say it hurts you more than them." 

I knew that about Mama Bess. I will come right out and admit that I have said, “a little fear is not necessarily a bad thing” but I realized after I had my own children, I didn't obey my mama because I was afraid of her.  I obeyed her because I loved her and I didn't want her to be disappointed in me. I didn't want to hurt her. I respected this woman who I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would fight a lion and grizzly bear for me. My mama disciplined her seven children based on how her parents disciplined their twelve children. Times and families change. I have wanted to walk up to a screaming, misbehaving. kicking, spitting child many times and say, "let's me and you go behind the woodshed for about 2 minutes and you will come out a different child" ---(hey..just being honest).  But what the child really needs is to respect his parents, teachers, grandparents and others enough to know that bad behavior is unacceptable. 

Bottom line 'A Little Confused' is this----we all have to make those decisions based on our own personal convictions. But I do know a child with the wrong discipline will be no better off than the child with no discipline and a child who is truly loved will get usually get what he/she needs the most. You asked, "Is there anything in between?" I think that shows you have a open mind and open heart to want to do what is best for your child. A very good place to start!

P.S. The Ninja Squirrels are suckers for new babies and say 'Congrats' and may guardian angels watch over you all!!

Signed~ Squirrely Girl

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Facebook is the Devil

Facebook is the Devil, Satan and the Apocalypse

Or…the switch turns on AND off…

Dear Squirrely Girl,

I think FB is destroying every moral fabric in the world. I think it is the devil’s tool sometimes and part of Satan’s plan. It is a sign of the times I guess. Someone is always fighting or gets their feelings hurt because they think a post is about them when it is not.  People use foul language and put those pictures or videos up showing half naked men or women and then turn around and put up a bible verse. People put too much personal stuff on there about who broke their heart or who made them mad. People talk about politics and just get into big fights and stop being friends. I just want to see the pictures of families and babies and pets and happy news or maybe prayer request when someone is in need.  I think people spend too much time on FB and not enough time with family. Just my opinion, but love your squirrels.

Signed~  Tired of Facebook

Dear Tard, (I mean, Tired..and aren’t we all?)

I agree and disagree with you on so many levels I am not sure where to begin. So I will begin with eating a Godiva chocolate and see if I can sort this out.

I agree people spend too much time on Facebook and not enough time with real people. Can I get an AMEN? We also spend way too much time watching t.v. talking or texting on the phone, at work, at play, eating, sleeping, worrying, griping, complaining, crying and generally concentrating on ourselves. So to that I say, ‘moderation in everything’ is the iron clad rule.

I agree posting a pic with a half naked woman or man that says "WTF or I hope Karma makes your brakes go out while going down a hill".. immediately before John 3:16.. is confusing.  Hypocrisy is running rampant and not just on FB. It is troubling I admit and you are right, Facebook is probably not the best place to convince people you are a Christian. The fruits of your life day in and day out should speak much louder.

I agree using Facebook to work out personal or family problems is not the best idea in the world-- it is really the coward way. Sort of like, ‘if you were here I would probably pretend everything is just fine but since you are not here I am going to talk big or give vague references to what is wrong instead of just talking to you like a sane person."  Facebook is really no different than the old fashioned party line on phones with a rotary dial….everybody can talk and everybody can listen. Remembering that would be the best advice I could give on that subject. Although, I don’t think letting people know you are upset is all bad, which I will say again in the following section you will not like called “I Disagree”

I Disagree:

I don’t agree that Facebook is of the devil or Satan or created by the Anti-Christ anymore than Mama Bess thought Elvis and the Beatles were evil, although she said that many times. I ask her once if she really meant that and she said, “Nah..Elvis is good boy, loves his mama. Not sure ‘bout them long-haired boys from overseas, but they probably love their mama too. It is the way people are carrying on about them that is the sin. Anything that obsesses you and makes you lose your mind for a minute or two is not good.” See, it is not Facebook that is evil-- it is the evil use of Facebook you are concerned with.

I disagree that airing ALL things personal on Facebook is bad. You said it yourself. Prayer request, babies being born, birthdays, old pictures, and sharing memories are all wonderful things. And sometimes people actually re-connect with old friends or family that they may never had the nerve to call or see in person. But just like life, we don’t get to pick and choose just the good stuff. It is sometimes uncomfortable and almost offensive to see some of the “drank a little too much of Ol’ Grandpa’s Cough Syrup” status updates that tell way more than they should-- but you know what? I got the perfect solution for you:  Don’t read ‘em!

It really is just that simple. Don’t like what you see on t.v? Turn the channel. You ARE your own filter. You decide what you take into your heart and your mind. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and saying “YOU MUST READ ALL FB UPDATES”! When people complain about what they see on FB, I have to just go whip my head back and forth to make sure I still have a brain in there somewhere. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t like it several times? Delete ‘em. Just like that, POOF, they are gone. If you truly feel that music or FB or movies or books or tv or radio or magazines or any other medium is of the devil—don’t watch, read or listen to any of those things. As a matter of fact if you truly believe that about FB, I would worry about you if you did not delete your entire account immediately.

Third: (Last but not least)

If you think a post is about you—well—it probably is and your conscious is screaming loud enough to burst your eardrum. Hey, I wish FB was simpler than life, but it is not. You know why? Because there are HUMANS using it! It will be messy and crazy and sad and happy and insane and ugly and mean and sweet and funny and critical and thought provoking and irritating and a blessing depending on who is using it. In other words, it will reflect ‘life’. But the beautiful thing about FB is …with one click…one very simple click…you can make it all go away.
P.S. The squirrels love you too but they are FB addicts so please forgive them!!!
Signed ~ Squirrely Girl

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Snake Boy Replies....

Snake Boy Replies and Civil War Breaks Out

Or..Back To The Future Part Four

Dear Squirrely Girl,

Wow I haven’t had this much interrogation since the feds shut down my Farmville. Well, let’s start with the tattoos. I really don’t understand the reason why one wishes to mark their carcass with all that ink. To me, body art mostly distracts from the God made natural beauty. I guess it is a way to “express” one’s self in a culture where criminal records and teenage pregnancy is “all the rage.”
When it comes to vampires, there is no explanation. I briefly participated in the whole pale man, bloodsucking, evil sorcery thing, but six months is all I could take of the Republican Party. 

There are plenty of reasons for remaking all the classics, because the classics suck in the eyes of the target consumer (aka pre-teen girls). My generation likes high definition, a lot of action, brief nudity, and a vampire or two. As far as originality goes in regards to television, the Jersey Shore beats Dallas right out of the park. Snooki would fist pump J.R. to death (yes I had to Google a Dallas pop culture reference because I have never heard of it). 
I have no comment of the music question. I don’t want to get on my soapbox about the constipated attempts of today’s “musical superstars.” 

We text the people sitting across from us because real human interaction scares the crap out of us. The world has never been so connected yet so far apart. It’s the irony of today’s society. I have yet to figure out how to be a nurse without being around people. . . . oy

Signed Snake Boy

Dear Snake Boy,
Well, my young whippersnapper/apprentice…I have to tell you I am a little worried about your generation’s future. I have been to the mountain, (figuratively, you know I am not climbing nothing) looked over it and I don’t like what I see at all, no sirree bob. You know what I see? Well, I will tell you what I see--I see a little civil war on the horizon--without Scarlett and the pretty dresses and big beautiful plantations being burned to a crisp--but a civil war just the same. I can talk to 10 people in one day and 5 will tell me their truth and 5 will tell me their truth and the two do not come anywhere close to being the same. Now you know how I hate math, but even in my simple little brain that equals, either one has it all right and the other has it all wrong OR they both have it a little right and a little wrong. But what do you think the chances are either side will admit that? Yeah, I got a better chance of filling out Dolly Parton’s rhinestone and sequins blouse.

My theory is we are heading for a secession of people with walking around sense from people who wouldn’t touch an open mind with a ten foot pole. Yep, I think you will wake up one morning and find a whole bunch of people living in the new country called “Mine All Mine”.  Their National Anthem will be “I Hear Ya Knockin’ But You Can’t Come In” and their bird will be a Parrot, because it will only repeat what they say so they will not have to ever hear an opposing opinion. In the nation of “Mine All Mine” they will pay no taxes, have no public anything. If you want it or need it, you will pay for it yourself because you must have a job in Mine All Mine. If you are too lazy to get a job you will not eat, it is that simple. Personal responsibility will be a requirement to live in Mine All Mine. That’ll teach the lazy bums living like parasites off hard honest workers. Of course if you happened to be one of those hard honest workers who happens to get sick and you can’t work, or you just get too old to work anymore…well…sorry but you will have to be deported to the ‘other’ country, “Try A Little Kindness”. 

It will not be exactly like the war between the north and south because these two countries do not want to be united so there will be little to no bloodshed---and because Mine All Mine will have all the guns and it is just no fun shooting people who don’t shoot back. 
As you can see there are pro’s and con’s to living in either country and it will be hard to decide which one you prefer—so there will be those handful of people who start another country called “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along”.  I don’t know where you will live. I am hoping they will create some sort of passport where you can move around a little and see what best fits your temperament.  But you will need to make a decision eventually because trust me on this one—we cannot continue to be a “United States”. Because it is not possible for people to live together and call themselves a country united when they are obviously a country divided forever.

IMHO ~ Squirrely Girl

Monday, July 2, 2012

Tattoos, Snakes, Vampires and Hip Hop

Welcome to the world of communication between an Aunt and a Great Nephew... Yes..We are both a little insane...

Dear Squirrely Girl:

Well, the day has finally come. Let’s be honest, you’ve been on God’s green earth a few years longer than myself. Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t look a day over 29, but you’ve had time to learn a thing or two about this crazy thing we mere mortals call life. I have come to the point in my life where I need a little wisdom and I believe the world out there could use a little too; and what better way for the world to hear some of your “walking around sense” than a good ole fashion blog.

Yes, I know Walter Cronkite is rolling over in his grave, but we have to adapt to the new world. We can exchange commentary of a wide range of topics from pop culture to politics. Of course like any professional news outlet, we must maintain a fair and balanced view on things. I will try my best to refrain from such things as calling Sarah Palin “Princess Chillbilly the Moose Molester” and you will have to be careful what you say about well just about everything.  And even though we will be heavily criticized, I do believe we will be rich and famous . . . but no matter how many mansions you end up owning or how many Victoria Secret models I end up marrying; at the end of the day we know that we have each other’s love and respect. Now that I have clarified everything, let the blogging begin. 


Snake Boy

Dear Snake Boy:

The whole political climate is certainly a hot bed of controversy right now…do we help sick people, do we kill them, do we just ignore them and hope they go away? Lots of stuff to talk about right there..for sure. BUT..you know what they say…never talk religion or politics. So we will make sure to discuss both in detail because that’s just how we roll.

But first things first, before I start wowing you with my intellect and extensive “know it all” attitude, I got some questions for your generation too, as a matter of fact I got a lot of questions. Here’s a couple:

Why do girls think tattoos are cool? When we were growing up the only people who had tattoos were pirates, sailors, and ex-cons. So now--no matter how hard I try --when I see a young lady with a tattoo…I am thinking in the back of mind, is she a pirate, a sailor or an ex-con? I don’t get the whole fad, explain please.

Why are girls obsessed with vampires? Vampire books, vampire movies, vampire tv shows. Is there a shortage of guys who haven’t already died and still get up before the sun goes down? I don’t get the fascination with someone who wants to gnaw on your neck and call it petting. Do you still call it petting?

Why are they remaking all the movie, tv shows, and music from my youth? Don’t you guys have any original ideas of your own? You know it is close to the end of the world when there is not one single original idea left.

What is the difference between rap and hip hop? Does one have less cussing than the other? Can you tell me which one that is so I can to listen to it occasionally and pretend I am still cool and “down with it”. Cause I can’t get down with anything  anymore without someone nearby to help me ‘get back up’.

Why do people text me when I am sitting across the room. Do they not want to talk to me in person because I will not let them finish a sentence or
  because they are just rude and have no manners?

I would like to have answers asap…you do still use asap (as soon as possible) these days right? And please don’t answer “K” 
 It is okay or OK ..it is not OKAY to use “k’. Okay?


Squirrely Girl