If you type in your email a little dose of crazy will be personally delivered!

Saturday, June 30, 2012

The most disturbing questions I get come from myself. 


Dear Squirrely Girl,

Why did they take the blinker dimmer thingy out of the floorboard and put it on the steering wheel giving us one more reason to take one hand off the wheel?

Why did Tom Hanks want to leave an island where all he had to do was wake up, catch crab, eat crab legs and go back to sleep?
Why didn’t he take his new girlfriend back to the beautiful deserted island where everything was free and she could have then caught the crab, cooked it and served it while him and  'Ol Wilson just laid around and talking sports all day?
Was Wilson a soccer ball or a volley ball? ( I was too busy looking at the crab legs to really notice)
Can we all get stranded on an island and lose 80% of our body fat in 2 hours? 
Is Fed Ex headquarter's really in Memphis, TN? (I got a lot of questions about Castaway) 

Why would Nehi stop making those wonderful punch and chocolate milk tasting drinks and continue making the icky grape, peach and strawberry cough syrup tasting drinks?

Why does the alarm clock going off make me sleepy?

Why do women answer “nothing” when they mean “everything” when I man asked them what’s wrong?

Why can’t the new generation come up with one original idea instead of remaking Dallas and reminding all of us who grew up with it how old we are?

What does the “M” in MTV and CMT stand for now, because it certainly isn’t “music’?

Why do news shows spend 2 minutes to report a news story and 2 hours telling us what they think it means?

AND..Why hasn’t anyone invented a Super Size M & M or Hershey’s kiss?

Squirrely Girl (Yes you are talking to yourself again)

These are the things that keep me up at night. Someone please give me some answers..please!!!

Everything You Don't Really Need To Know....

But I'm gonna tell you anyway....

I will only answer the most important questions about life here!
So please do not bother me with all those silly profound questions like "What is the meaning of life?" or "Where do the socks go?" This blog/advice column/ is a place for me to write instead of slap somebody upside the head  and is for those who are serious about getting informed answers to important questions. Like this one.

Dear Squirrely Girl,

Why do you feel the need to "like" every post or status on FB..why..why...why for the love of Krispy Creme donuts and chocolate syrup ..WHY?" 

Signed ~ Sick of You

Dear Sick of You (too),

Good question. You know how when you are driving down the road in the country and people raise that one finger off the steering wheel and you raise your finger back? You don't have a clue who they are and you are not going to pull over and have a long conversation or really lose more than half a second of your entire life so.. you just raise your finger up and nod in agreement that you are both members of the human race and probably driving to a job you might hate or love so you can support a family that you might hate or love but for one brief moment in time, you both paused and acknowledged you are not alone in this world. I am not sure they do this all over the country, but we sure do it here in the south. It is a sign of being friendly or just recognizing that you saw that finger and you give them the finger back (that didn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean).

People like to be acknowledged, they like to know that even for one second, someone cared what they thought or said. So I "like" post and statuses and pictures of grandbabies and even those blasted "funny/inspirational/silly/ridiculous" pics that some of us..I won't mention any names...post way too many of. So just hit the "like" button every now and then, it won't kill you. It is like giving a "thumbs up" to someone. We all need a thumbs up, it is good for your blood pressure and cholesterol. (Okay ..I made that up.) I hope that answered your question Sick of You. Have a nice day and bring me some Krispy Creme donuts and chocolate syrup (I only drink Hersheys)
Thank you!

If you have other life changing important questions like this one...feel free to submit them immediately to be included in my new blog "Dear Squirrely Girl...it is not really new at all I have just been too lazy to post anything here  ~in small letters~ The names will be changed to protect the innocent.