DON'T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN' GUNS

  
DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!

Or…Can you ever really have enough ways to kill somebody?

Update: I wrote this blog in July of 2012...wow...who would have known how wild the frenzy of "Don't Touch Our Freakin' Guns" would become. A couple of mass murder rampages...dozens of bullets riddling the bodies of kindergartners and first graders. I wrote this in a satire manner...but I knew it was a serious matter even then...I knew this NRA guy was crazy as a loon ..but only until this week did I understand his motivation. The more afraid he can make people-- the more guns they will buy and the more the gun manufactures who are now the backbone of the NRA will make in profits...(not my grandpa's NRA anymore) so remember the next time you support them..they were not above making a dollar off the blood of innocent children...if that seems harsh..well..the truth is often very harsh. 


There is an outrage going on and it is lighting up Facebook, talk shows and “News” shows like a small town in the middle of Nevada. Apparently, somebody is trying to take our GUNS! Can you believe it? Well, that is what they are saying. Some big wig from the NRA (National ..we rather fight than switch, blow something up than talk, shoot now ask questions later...Rifle Association) is on YouTubing giving this passionate speech about “we will not tolerate being attacked”. So I guess it is all pretty serious. I listened to him, because I want to know who is trying to attack us. He never did say, but he sounded pretty sure ‘somebody’ is going to and any day now too! 

I guess he was talking to the UN about some treaty that says we shouldn't be selling guns to other countries because…let’s face it…we can’t trust them. But I guess he thinks that translates to somebody coming in your house and going to your gun cabinet and taking all your personal shot guns or rifles or AK 47 machine guns and he was some sorta mad about that. I would be too if I thought that was what they were doing. I read the treaty, it doesn’t mention anything about anyone doing that, but that doesn’t matter because…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.

It is in that Second Amendment you know, the right to bear arms. I don’t remember that much about history, but from what little I can recall, our forefathers needed guns back in the day when they were fightin’ the British and Indians or each other and it was a really high priority for their well-being and safety. Later on it became more important for Davy Crokett to shoot a bear or did he use his bare hands? Whatever….I do know he wore a raccoon on his head and that is what is really important.  Anyway, they needed their guns, so they put that right at the top of list of things to DON”T FREAKIN’ TOUCH. Like their right to say what they wanted, worship like they wanted, vote like they wanted and all those other really neat things.In my itsy bitsy peroxide induced blonde brain, I am thinking if we compare our times with theirs, I want a NUCLEAR WAR HEAD! So I can really protect myself. 

I live out in the country, folks out here love their guns, L.O.V.E  LOVE them. Hunting season is like mardi gras here. And about 98% of those folks use their guns responsibly and make sure they train their children to do the same. Of course that is not the case everywhere. But if we say that only ‘responsible’ people can have guns…well…it will not matter, because the nuts and psychos are still going to get guns one way or the other. They can go down to Walmart or the local gun shows and get all the guns they want. When is the last time you heard of anyone being turned down from getting a gun? Maybe Ted Bundy or Jason from Friday the 13^th would be turned down, but I think they are both dead now, although you can never trust that Jason won’t come back.  And to make it even easier to ensure you can not only keep your gun, they passed a new law a while back that says you can shoot anybody you want if you say they scared you. After all…there will only be one witness left standing to prove that ... YOU…(how convenient is that???) and in Florida, you can walk right in the capital building with a concealed weapon now, no questions asked.

So nobody is trying to come take our guns and we can shoot anybody we want, but still…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them, they make us feel safe. If someone breaks in our house, we want and need the right to shoot that someone. Nobody is arguing with that, not that I have heard or read yet. So far the ATT (Arms Treaty Agreement) doesn’t say a word about personal rights to bear arms in our great nation, it just limits the sale of guns to OTHER countries. How that is translating into taking your BB gun, I don’t know. BUT…DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS.  We need them. Just in case. I even saw a picture all over Facebook with a whole family (including the toddler) with a big gun in their hands on their front porch that said, “We don’t need to call 911, but we will call you a coroner.” Yep, who needs the law? Who needs a society that says we can’t shoot whoever and whatever we want to shoot? We are independent of our country, its rules AND our fellowman. It is our God given freedom for the love of a Saturday Night Special and .44 Magnum.

There is that one little bitty detail that says any international treaty that affects the sale of guns in the US would have to pass the Senate and be subject to constitutional challenges like any law. But who cares about details when somebody is trying to TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS? I need a gun, I also need a knife and a sword and a tank and one of those stealthy thingys that nobody can see so I can REALLY protect myself and my family. I know, I know, we have the biggest armed forces in the world to protect us.... I don’t care. DON”T TOUCH OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!  So if someone can find where it says in this treaty anything other than 'regulates the INTERNATIONAL import and export of small arms', I want to see it with my own eyes. Call me silly, but before I can protest anything I really need to see it with my own eyes and know what it says.  The only thing I do know for sure about this treaty right now is the NRA HATES it and IRAN HATES IT.  Oh lookee, something a few Americans agree with Iran about. Maybe this whole thing will bring us all together and we can share some corn and turkey. Just remember this... we can’t hunt and shoot a turkey if somebody “TOUCHES OUR FREAKIN’ GUNS!

P.S. For obvious reasons, the squirrels do not like guns either.

Squirrely Girl now apologizes to every neighbor, family member, FB friend, the NRA, Jason and all others who are passionate about their guns or other weapons, including chain saws. Please do not egg or toilet paper my house. I am just too tired to clean up that sort of mess.

Thank you!