SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK N ROLL...and...

.....PYTHONS and EVIL ELVES…

I will be going back out on the road soon with The Hub and The Boys.  Every time I tell someone that they say something like, “Oh, that is exciting!” or “Oh, that sounds like so much fun!”  or “Wow, you guys get paid to dress up and go on stage and play music and have a good time? That is AWESOME!”  But I think what many are thinking is “You are insane, what kind of job is that? That’s not a real job.” or “I bet you all do drugs cause everyone knows people in bands all do drugs, drink and ‘other things’ we can’t even mention.” 

And I completely understand. Growing up in a small town, my impression of ‘musicians and bands’ included: “ They are alcoholic druggies who are too lazy to get a real job and just got lucky and have a little talent in order to get paid enough so they do not have to work a single day in their life. It just can’t be fair that people can love something so much AND be allowed to do it AND get paid for it AND then enjoy it because it is so much fun! That is just not normal and there must be something illegal involved somehow somewhere.”

So when I tell people that our family sometimes plays music for a living and I see their eyes twitch a little, I know where they are coming from. But because of my family’s history in music I was open and even encouraged to explore the possibility that you can make a living using your love of music. Daddy Frank played with Hank Williams Sr. until he said he about starved to death, my great uncles, Pappy Neal and Uncle Earl spent all their lives playing music. Everyone in our family plays an instrument, sings, writes, or at least listens to the radio. You can’t survive if you don’t.  But life on the road is not quite as glamorous as it sounds. I will be doing a blog sharing the ins and outs and break-downs and  a few “Band On The Run/Running On Empty / With The Runs” food critiques..that should be pretty interesting. So stay tune for that. You can check out when and where we will be at The Southern Soul Allstars’ website..  http://www.thessas.com/home.cfm 

I must say ..it is looking like a really COLD ..um..I mean a really COOL tour. Oh well…life is a journey not a destination. And in the case of our band …it is a journey that needs some sort of adult supervision…but why should we start now!!

Speaking of adult supervision…why anyone in their right mind would leave me to my own devices on Facebook is a mystery to me. I have been in more trouble than a tumblin’ tumbleweed in a tornado this week. I chimed in on a little conversation—which I have been known to do a time or two—about the big old humongous PYTHON that was killed in Caryville, Florida. It was of interest to me because I don’t live far from Caryville, Florida. All I said was…people buy those suckers online and then when they get too big and after they eat their house and car..they set them free and then they end up in places like Caryville, Florida…where a little 13 year old girl had to shoot and kill it.

Well…some looney toon guy said I was crazy and that nobody could buy a baby PYTHON online because it was illegal and I said..(because I always have the right to remain silent ..but I never will) “Well here are a few sites that say you can buy one online.”  And he said..”Well the last 3 years that has been banned and it is illegal NOW.”   And I said GOOD! Then he said—PYTHONS can NOT survive our winters here anyway and that I (Ninja Squirrel Queen) did NOT know what I was talking ‘bout and I said—well, the PYTHON in Caryville, Florida that was 11.4 ft long and 15 inches wide..I think it was surviving pretty dang good. And then he got mad and apparently reported me to FB as a black market PYTHON seller/oppressor, which is not true. I am not going to oppress or pet or hunt or buy or sell NO KIND OF SNAKE. 

But that doesn’t matter-- I got put on probation on FB and could not post or like anything on my page for 24 hours until I learned my lesson not to chime in on other people’s conversations that might have looney toon friends. Lesson learned!

At first I thought I was banned for making fun of my nieces’ ‘elf on a shelf”. Yeah…um…who came up with this idea and how many drugs did they take first???  I want a ‘stocking on a shelf’ one filled with as much chocolate as possible but I cannot imagine wanting a little skinny elf on a shelf that gets up in the middle of the night and wrecks havoc on my house, life and family. Who thought this would be fun??? ELVES are Santa’s little helpers. We all know this right??? They are at the North Pole pounding away on toys or trying to be a dentist for God’s sake..they are not roaming around your house playing tricks..that…is GREMLINS!!!  Maybe we can pour water on all those creepy elves and they will turn into FROSTY THE SNOWMAN! That is something I can use around my house because I am having MEGA HOT FLASHES!!!

Sure the title said Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll..but there will be no talk of sex in this blog. All that leads to is more human beings who think Evil Elves, Pythons and Gremlins are a good thing!

Happy Whatever Will Not Offend You (I am in enough trouble as it is)

~Squirrely Girl