LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY BROTHER.... THE GATOR....

And it has nothing to do with football.... 

I really appreciate all the friends I have made over the last year on this blog. We didn't all agree on everything and I will admit right now....I have been wrong about a thing or two or three or maybe a hundred...but you guys have hung with me and dang...we are almost like a family now! A family where people can love each other and still disagree. Where you feel safe to say..."I think you have lost your ever lovin' mind...but Imma love you anyways ".... (yeah...we know those aren't real words...but we don't care)!

And that  truly describes my 'real family'...you see ...I have been ULTRA BLESSED...I was born the 'baby' of a family who some people call 'entertaining"....and others call..."crazy as a sprayed roach' but we are the "McCormicks".  Born to Daddy Frank and Mama Bess...the most romantic love story since Loretta Lynn and "Doo"! We are brothers and sisters who have experienced some of the most wonderful and a few of the most horrible things in life. We lost our precious brother, Dewayne many years ago ..then lost  Daddy Frank on Christmas Day 1987 ...not long after lost our older brother Kenneth and then...Mama Bess in 2005. The four of us left didn't see how we would go on.  But we have...and as much as I hate this overused cliche.... "MAKE NOT MISTAKE".....we will keep going and we will stand by each other no matter what. Which is the perfect introduction to this:

 over the top ...completely unashamed and blatant bragging about ...THE GATOR!

The Gator...aka...Dwight McCormick...needs no introduction to anyone in the panhandle of Florida. I am pretty sure that... (and GOD FORBID) ..if the good Lord decides to take the GATOR home...there will never be enough churches, chapels, funeral homes, basketball courts, gyms...whatever... to hold his family, friends and admirers. We recently had a scare with his health and my Facebook and Blog messages lit up like a billboard with people wanting to know about The Gator!

Isn't it always the case? That those who are extraordinary don't know how valued they are until there is  a crisis?  I told him when he had his little 'incident"  (that is what the Gator calls every major event...a little 'incident')...I said "You know... Hank Williams was never really famous until he died!" He laughed as usual and said.'Well...Hank didn't have the internet and Facebook"!!

I agree...so let me introduce you to my brother...the GATOR... no....he does not pull for the Florida Gators..(we would disown him) He is a FSU Seminole inside and out. From my own recollections...the nickname "The Gator" came from him really hunting ALLIGATORS...way before all those reality shows!  So there is a little fact you might not know!! I will let him fill in the details here...I still get a little squeamish hearing about his 'gator huntin' days'.

But more important...I want to tell you about my brother, Dwight.  He is one of the most remarkable human beings I know. He is loyal and kind. He is funny, compassionate and extremely  talented but humble.  He is hilarious, witty, Godly and understanding. Not a common or likely combination. 

He was the guy who called me up and said ...'you pick yourself up, shake yourself off ...and try it all over again until you get it right'...and the same guy who said...'you are my baby sister...I will love you whether you succeed or fail". 

He was man enough to cry with me...to show me that being a real man doesn't mean you don't cry or hurt or need comforting...that being a real man sometimes  means listening and loving you no matter what. He was the inspiration for more than a couple of songs I wrote because he didn't mind saying how he felt...not ashamed to admit that he hurt like anyone else.  So he has always been accessible for those in need.  The most Christ-like characteristic of all.

I will not share the name...but as some know... the Gator worked with many  inmates in a county jail for years.  After one of the inmate's release, he told me that he owed his very life to my brother. That he never treated him like a criminal but as someone who still had worth...that when he was down to the very last breath he wanted to take...the Gator gave him hope.  It was one of many stories I would hear over the years.

I have never had a heartache in my life when the GATOR was not there to hold my hand and soothe my soul...to pray with me..to let me know that no matter what...I was loved. 

People say that me and my sisters are a lot like our Mama Bess....and we all three laugh at that ...because we know...deep down.... the Gator has more of our precious mother's traits than any of us.  He has the perfect combination of the grace and mercy of our mother...and the steadfastness and no nonsense of our father. He is the  Gator....He is our brother and our best friend...and we could never be more proud!  

Happy Birthday Brother....we love you so very much!  Never stop being YOU!!!

It is okay to forget!!!

Fear not....It is a wonderful way to live...

I just realized...this is the first year since 1995 that we have not remembered our son Adam's 'new birthday'. His bone marrow transplant was in July and we normally do a big celebration of his second chance at life from his older brother Jeremy. None of us really mentioned it this year. But that doesn't mean we have forgot how to be thankful, that means we are finally getting the most precious gift of all...the point where cancer does not rule our lives anymore. See…when someone in your family has cancer....cancer takes over everyone's life. Adam suffered more than any of us will ever really know...fighting this disease that seems bound and determined to take every person and everything in life we love, but he was not the only one. As he has said many times...watching the rest of his family suffer along with him made the cancer even worse. 

His brother was a junior in high school...just 16 years old. When other boys his age were juggling sports and girlfriends...he was wondering if his bone marrow might fail in saving his younger brother's life...a pretty heavy load for any teenager. I remember the day that I called him at school and as soon as he picked up the phone...I said..."Jeremy!!! You are a perfect match!!!"  He said, "I knew it...YES..let's do this!!"  

It was not an easy procedure for him. He takes after his mom and gets deathly sick from that 'sleeping medicine'. Just like most donors, he never complained for a moment. When they brought up his bone marrow the bag said, "To Adam..From Jeremy...I love you!"  It was a special moment every mother hopes she will never have to experience...one child...sacrificing his life for another. It made me look at the gift our Heavenly Father gave to us… the ultimate love...and the ultimate pain. But "Bless the Lord...oh my soul and all that is within me, bless his holy name."

(This is a beautiful lullabye to that song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfTmak8yk7M

 And then there was their baby brother Dusty...who was not really old enough to understand why everyone in his family seem to just disappear from his life for about 6 months. His Mema Judi (who I could have never made it through without)  brought him to us at Duke University Hospital so we could celebrate his birthday that year. All I really remember is he liked Power Rangers..the rest is just a blur. I was pretty much a walking zombie at that point and God bless Jeremy and Dusty…. They just got what little was left of their mama during those years...they never once complained. And their Grandma, Mama Bess...if there could be anything worse than watching your child suffer it has to be watching your child watching their child suffer....she was our rock through the whole thing...but I know her heart was breaking. Having my own grandson now...I  have a glimpse at what she was going through.  Bless you Mama Bess. Our sisters and brothers...who wanted so to lift our burden and did everything they could and my precious friends who could really do nothing but just be there and talk to me day in and day out...you will never know how much that meant. And the Hub...who worked at what ever job he could find in North Carolina to stay close to us and support me when most people would not have stayed in the same room with me most of the time...it takes a village and Adam had an awesome 'village'.

When I realized today that we had not 'remembered' that day..that week..that month....even that year….it was the ultimate "Helllllooo?" moment. Once the war has been won, we don't have to keep re-living the battles. We don't have to keep remembering the pain, the hurt, or the mistakes. This IS a new day that the Lord hath made and we SHOULD be glad and rejoice in it!!!  

Doesn't mean we don't give thanks and honor the moment, but we can now do that a new way, by not letting cancer keep us afraid that it will come back. There have not been many days since Adam was 6 years old and first diagnosed that I haven't lived with the fear of cancer taking his life...and even now 18 years later...I lose my mind a little if he gets the sniffles. Fear is not of God...so really I have been doing what I have told everyone else they should not do. Isn't that just the way it goes? It all sounds fine until it comes to living it yourself...then... not so easy. But my children have taught me to "Stop it...you can't worry about us all every single minute or you are going to miss out on enjoying us!"

So...I think our time is better spent being a comfort to those who are fighting the same battles today. For those who have recently lost dear loved ones to the enemy cancer and to those who are in the midst of the war with any other illness...we will try to be here for you. We do remember when it seemed impossible. We remember crying out to God for mercy and healing and for strength if healing would not be His will. We remember all the children that didn't make it and their precious families and the lessons they taught us. The number one lesson was: Make today count and live it to its fullest. 

I remember kids in the bone marrow unit getting the most devastating treatments, being so weak and frail and then five minutes later they would all be in the hall racing their remote control trucks and cars like nothing had ever happened.  They let the bad stuff melt away quickly and got on with the business of living and enjoying every second of this precious thing called  'life'. They concentrated on living…not dying. So if we are to go back to the year of Adam's cancer ever again.....that is where we need to return. To the hope, to the courage, to the strength of children with cancer and the lessons they were teaching all of us. 

Thank you Lord, for the opportunity to get to know every single one of them and be with those precious families who lost their children that year...they are all still in our hearts today. And help us take the lessons we were awarded that year to help others and not live in fear but in victory. Amen.

~Squirrely Girl

I Saw A SHARK In The Clouds....

I Saw A Shark In The Clouds…

I really did…

I saw a shark in the clouds today. Not a cloud shaped like a shark, the clouds surrounded the shark and the shark was just this big old Jaws Great White Shark in the middle made up of nothing but beautiful blue sky. And then I looked to left and I swear there was a big mouthed bass, and then to the right… a catfish…all the same way. Now before you go thinking I was dipping into Old Grandpa Cough Syrup or was out in the woods nibbling on mushrooms, let me put your mind at ease. I was in the truck going down the road somewhere between Florida and New Mexico.

See, we are a ‘travelin’ band’. We go from one side of the country to the other to play our little songs, not because we think people need or even want to hear our little songs…but because we are either…artist who must pursue our craft…or …we are crazy as a bedbug. Most folks go with the latter. But we travel long distances and we cover a lot of the country and up until today, I let a lot of that go pretty much unnoticed. I am not proud of that.

I don’t know exactly what the term for ‘fear of traveling in a vehicle’ is called…I am sure there is one. But I got a bad case of it. It is unreasonable and just this side of insane, but I have horrible anxiety attacks when I ride in any car or truck, train, plane, bus, motorcycle, little red wagon, horse and carriage…you name it.  It was not always that way. I can remember loading up my kids and traveling alone from Florida to Memphis, TN without thinking twice. The thought that we might be in a car accident or break down in the middle of nowhere never entered my mind. I loved traveling, I loved driving, and I loved seeing new places. And then it happened. I got ‘that phone call’. You know… the one where they say, “Ma’am your husband and little boy have been in a car accident. Your husband is at one hospital and your son is at the Children’s Hospital, we are not sure if they are stable.”  I had just met my next door neighbor, (who is still one of my closest friends today) but I ran over and said, “Take me somewhere…I don’t even know where, I don’t even know where the hospitals are here.”

They were both okay in the end, but the trauma of seeing my little boy in a neck brace and his head swollen like a basketball and not even knowing the condition of my husband did something to me that day. A lady had just pulled out in front of them…. just an instant in time… and our lives would never be the same. I think that is when my mistrust of anything mobile started. We all know the moment we get into a vehicle it is not just our good judgment, but that of a million others that count, but it is probably not normal to worry every second, then again, being normal is not something I have ever been accused of.

Maybe if that had been the only incident, I would not be so crazed, but add that to:

“Ma’am this is the Sheriff’s Department, we have your husband at the emergency room..he was in an accident and someone finally found him.” (He was okay too)

“Mama, we were in a car accident, your grandkids are a little shook up but we are all okay… the van is totaled but we can get another van.” (Praise the Lord)

“I don’t know how to say this but your Aunt and Cousin were in a car accident, your aunt was killed instantly… your cousin is in intensive care, you should come now.”

The last one was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. I was convinced there is no safe place on the road. And the last one about my Aunt and Cousin…..is what takes us back to the shark in the clouds.

I know you are wondering by now how the two could possibly be connected. Well, I’m gonna tell you. My Aunt was married to my Uncle Junior who was like my other father. He lost his wife and almost lost his only daughter,( his first had been taken by breast cancer) in that accident.  I didn’t think we would survive the whole thing and (forgive the pun)… it put the nail in the coffin, so to speak, with me and the love of travel.  But my Uncle Junior and Mama Bess told me I needed to get over that and gave the old adage “Get back on the horse”, so I did. But the fear never completely went away. So I will travel…but I also will be either reading a book, working, playing a game or sleeping. Basically, I go into the ultimate denial stage and just pretend we are not going down the interstate at 70mph. And this worked until a few years ago…. the night an 80 year old man got confused and went down the wrong side of the interstate hitting the car in front of us head on. Once again we were very fortunate to have minor injuries, but I remember thinking, “See, I told ya’ll, the road is not safe and we should all move into caves and protect our loved ones.” I was back in fear mode once again.

Fear is a horrible thing. Fear is paralyzing and never leads to anything good. Fear is the main ingredient that Satan uses in his prize winning recipe to keep us from ever doing anything, enjoying anything, or serving God in anything. He uses it like a drug. Fear is addictive, once you have picked it up it is almost impossible to put it down without a strong intervention. Uncle Junior passed away last week, it was very hard to let him go. He was that rock you knew you could turn to in time of trouble. I think he was also my ‘strong intervention’. Something happened to me when I said my last goodbye to him. I was reminded of every conversation we ever had. One of those conversations was about all the wonderful things we get to see on our journeys, and I said, “Well, I don’t see a lot of things because I am too busy trying to pretend I am not going down the road.” I laughed, but he didn’t. He said, “You have to stop that, the best part IS the traveling and seeing all the different things. Do you know how many people would LOVE to have a job where they got paid to travel? I sure would. Most of us have to pay to go anywhere and you get paid to appreciate and enjoy all the things God has made. You need to put those books down and look out the window now and again.”

I said he was right and I would try, but I didn’t. Like some other great wisdom that has been shared with me, I just put it in the back of my mind with the excuse that he just didn’t understand how afraid I was, how the fear had taken over any common sense. Not a fear for myself or my life. I do not fear death… it is a different kind of fear and anxiety that is not rational and not easy to explain. Then on the way home I got the call, he had passed away and all I could think was what he had said so many times. “Today could be it for any of us and we should probably act that way”.

When we left yesterday to go back on the road…. he was on my mind so strong I found I could not read a book or write, or play solitaire or listen to music. I just sat and looked out the window. And there it was…a perfect shark in the clouds. I love the “name that cloud’ game and I still play it with my grandchildren where we lay on the ground and say what the clouds look like…but this was different. It wasn’t the clouds making the shape. It was the sky making shapes around the clouds. It took my breath away. I had been looking at it all wrong. Thinking the clouds were in control, when the sky was in control the whole time. There was something very comforting in that thought. A peace I had not felt in a long while. Don’t ask me why it was a shark…I think my brother, Kenneth had something to do with that…he took me to see Jaws and was an avid fisherman, AND he had a warped sense of humor just like me!!

But there it was, undeniably talking to me. I am not saying Uncle Junior’s passing was a way to teach me a lesson. It was his time to go, he had been anxiously waiting to go and join his wife and child, his Ma and Pa, his brothers and sisters. But I do think… no… I KNOW he has enough pull up there to make a couple of miracles happen. I imagine it this way. He went to Mama Bess and said..”Well, she is still doing that whole ‘fear of traveling’ thing and missing out on some amazing things God is trying to show her…and Mama Bess said…well you give it a try…she is obviously not listening to me and Kenneth chimed in with  ..make it a shark.”  And so there it was….I saw a shark in the clouds…actually I saw a shark in the sky and it was swimming through the clouds! I expect to see a unicorn and squirrel before this trip is over. I don’t need to be afraid, fear is my enemy. Be safe, take all common sense precautions, and then …what will be will be. Whatever happens will happen but in the meantime I have been missing all the blessings around me. Fear is the devil’s playground. He knows if he can keep us scared, he can keep us from being a witness. He revels in stealing our joy. The worst Christian witness is a ”miserable Christian”.  Fear and anxiety and worry can make you awfully miserable. The fear trap waits around every corner in many shapes and forms.  The bible says over and over, ‘Fear not”.  I think fear is our need to be in control. The enemy knows that and uses it against us.  But…”Yea though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me…” 

I think I have taken so much for granted. Uncle Junior was right. There are many people who cannot even get out of bed, who would love to see all the wonderful sights we see every day, while I bury my head in a book and pray for time to pass so I can get OUT of the truck.  Shame on me! And shame on all of us who do not make the very best of every single minute. The devil found my Achilles’ heel and he has made great progress with me. I plan on stopping him in his tracks.  My heart may still beat a little faster than it should, I may never completely get over the anxiety of traveling, but I can make an effort to appreciate the little things, open my eyes and my heart to the enchantment of the earth God created. Heck, we may even seek out the world’s largest ball of twine, maybe kiss a dolphin or pet a dolphin (whatever it is you do with dolphins) stop at every ‘Historic Landmark” on I-10 and take a pic or maybe  I will chase a prairie dog or two this trip and take one home to the McFarm. What I will not be doing this trip is burying myself in ‘busy stuff’ to shut out the fear. We are all on a journey of some sort and any number of things can happen to us along the way. Might as well sight see….

 Thank you Uncle Junior for another lesson, and thank you God for Uncle Junior and for being bigger than all my fears.

~Squirrely Girl

GEORGE JONES DIED...AND THAT'S JUST FOR STARTERS....

Who IS Gonna Fill Their Shoes?

We were all saddened to hear about the death of George Jones, one of the legends of country music. He died at the age of 81. He will be missed greatly. He was one of the major influences of country music. I know he gave me years of enjoyment and a great respect for traditional country music. Nobody could sing a song like "The Possum".  When he sang, "He stopped lovin' her today"...you believed it with your whole heart and soul...you could feel the pain with every perfect note. We were playing in Vinton, La when we heard the news and that night when we played one of his songs, I couldn’t help but cry. One of the greats had passed on from this old world and I knew things would never be quite the same. It was truly the end to an era. A generation of music. 

But then today, the biggest loss to the world came and my life will never be the same. His name was Roy Junior Carroll, he died at the age of 82. To many he was just Junior or Uncle Junior, to me he was and always will be Unck. That was my nick name for Uncle Junior. I was blessed with so many wonderful uncles and aunts.  They were all unique, they were all talented, they were all funny, smart and amazing and they all hold a special place in my heart.

But I only had one Unck…he was Mama Bess’ baby brother and she said from the day he was born he was special. He had a spirit about him that is hard to explain, because I don’t know who to compare him to today. As a matter of fact, I am afraid that with the death of my Unck…much like George Jones…there may not be anyone to “fill his shoes”. You see Unck was a different sort of man. He was strong and dependable without being mean or bossy. He was spiritual and pure without being judgmental. I can’t remember him ever saying a bad thing about anyone, yet he could correct those he saw stumbling without being offensive. He did it sternly in love. What a unique talent. What an incredible thing that is lacking so much today.

I grew up just feet or yards or inches away from Unck…(he always noted I had no sense of direction or distance, so I should be watched closely at all times…basically what he said was, "You can't find your way out of a wet paper bag and the only child I know who needs directions on how to get out of a tree she just climbed"...hehe)! His daughters were like my sisters..some people call it ‘cousins’..but we knew better. We knew that we were just sisters you could get away from when you wanted to. Unck probably got on to me more than my own parents because I practically lived at their house. I would show up…usually around meal time (which was my second dinner or supper…yeah... back then we didn’t have ‘lunch’ we had breakfast, dinner and supper …’lunch’ was just something you got at school)  and I would bebop in and say, “Hey Unck…what we having for supper?” And he would say, “Hard to tell, but from the smell of it, I think it might be some peas and corn and okra, with something fried and it better be cornbread, ‘cause you know we can’t eat without fried cornbread.” (The man literally would not eat without some sort of bread on the table...now ya know where I get that little obsession).

I think I pestered the living daylights out of Unck for most of my life, but his quiet chuckle always assured me that he would love me no matter what. See Unck was the baby of the family and I was the baby of the family, so he understood that I had some strange belief that I was special and could get away with anything. He even understood I was never even called anything but “Baby” until I was like 35 years old. If someone said my real name, I knew I was in serious trouble or at the doctor’s office. I think that was one of the reasons we had such a special relationship, that and the fact that I spent every other night of my life at his house with my ‘cousins’. He had no problem coming and telling all three of us to ‘not make him come in there again’.  I would start giggling so loud after he closed the door, he would open it it back up and say, “And I mean it too!”  I knew he meant business so I would bury my head in the pillow and giggle until I fell asleep or passed out from lack of oxygen.

We reminisced about those days just a month ago. It was the day before we left to go on the road. We looked at pictures and laughed at all the memories. When it was time to go, he held my hand a little longer, and I hugged him a little tighter than usual. Maybe somehow we both knew that might be the last time. I don't know, we were too busy laughing about the time we all went on vacation and wet chickens came flying out of our motel room when we checked in to think about such things as 'last goodbyes'. 

That is just a sampling of the memories I have of my Unck. As the years passed we would share many laughs, good times and some devastatingly bad times. We shared the loss of his parents, my parents, my brothers, his brothers and sisters, both watched our children suffer with cancer and then...losing my favorite aunt and cousin….his wife and daughter.  I did not think we would make it through some of those days. He could have acted all macho and strong and resilient, instead he held me and cried right along with me, showing the true strength of a man. I have seen him be angry but resolved not to let anger take control. I have seen him be humble and proud... only of his children, grandchildren and recently his great grandchildren. I have seen him be silent when most men would have raged and I have watched him take men twice his size down with a simple look and kind but firm word.

Today has been a really bad day. I can’t seem to stop crying. And it is not only because I am sad at losing a special family member. I think it is because I am afraid. Not just that Uncle Junior has passed, but because there is only one aunt left on Mama Bess’ side of the family. That means that whole generation is almost gone. And I am afraid that somehow we might not live up to the standard they set for us. I will admit I am more than a little worried that I don’t have what it takes to be the leader, the example that Uncle Junior and all the others were to us. It is scary to think that my nephews and nieces might look to me the way I looked to Uncle Junior…what a dismal disappointment that might be. I am afraid of ‘stepping up to the plate’ I guess.

George Jones may have made a mark on the world in country music, but my Unck made a mark on the world as a man of God who never sought anything for himself and everything for others. There may be a young artist who can come along to fill the shoes of people like George Jones, Conway Twitty, Tammy Wynette, and Loretta Lynn. Someone that can reach out and touch people with a song that leaves a lasting impression, but I pray that those of us who are now the ‘aunts and uncles’… can come close to filling the shoes of people like Uncle Junior and leave the lasting impression the world really needs. Be patient with us all you young folks…we have some REALLY big shoes to fill. I think the first thing Unck would have done is be honest and admit that he was scared about being able to get the job done.

Rest In Peace Unck….I don’t know how I ever got special enough to have you be a part of my life…but I thank God for it everyday!!!!

For you ...from your Squirrely Girl  Niece~

"Will The Circle Be Unbroken"...Chuck Wagon Gang

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zwgfp1ZkcE

DOES ANYBODY REALLY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

Does Anybody Really Care?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBuUUBrC9eQ

Does it really get any better than Chicago? I think not. A little rock, a little classical, a little jazz AND a little philosophy!

"Does anybody really know what time it is, does anybody really care, if so I can't imagine why..."

I can’t imagine why either. Do you know what year this is? It is NOT leap year. You know what that means? No February 29th….I cannot for the life of me understand why we can only get a February 29th every......4 years (unless the year ends in 00’s).   Oh I tried to read up on leap year in the Wiki Tiki Taffy Pedia..but it started talking about the intercalary or bissextile year and Gregorian calendars, lunisolar calendars,  and astronomical and seasonal years…too many big words and too much science for me. But do you know what they call a year without February 29^th?? A “common year”…and that’s why I don’t like ‘em.  Who in their right mind would ever want a ‘common year’?

I want every year to be special and who decided we could just ‘add a day’ or ‘subtract a day’?? Who?? You know what this means? NOBODY really knows what time it is. Nobody even really knows what DAY it is and obviously NOBODY cares.

We have been traveling so fast across this great country that even our smarty pants phones can’t keep up with the time….the Eye Pads can’t keep up with the time.  We don’t have a clue what time it is or what day it is…until today…when I realized we lost February 29^th.  Just flat out lost it--an entire day…. I  would have probably found a cure for cancer or invented disposable clothes if I had just had that one extra day instead of just another ‘common year’.

I am normally going to bed when my friends and family are getting up to go to work. Not that I didn’t do that before I was on ‘Mountain Time’ but I realize more and more that time is relative. When I call home three hours behind my family and they say…”For the love of Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise, why would you be calling us at midnight?” …I say, “Well it is only 9 pm here…get up”!! I know that time really means nothing. It is just according to where you are.  And in just a few weeks the ‘powers that be” will make it even more complicated by changing to ‘daylight savings’ time…like they are going to change how much daylight we have.  It doesn’t matter what your clock or watch says people…there will be the same amount of ‘daylight’ hours and ‘nighttime’ hours. The sun and the moon will do their thang regardless of whether we spring forward or fall back…I promise.

They try to convince me that the whole ‘saving daylight’ was for the farmers…bull malarkey…farmers get up with the sun and go to bed when the moon comes out.. they do not care what time you call it. No…the whole ‘daylight saving’ time thingy was invented for 9-5 people to be able to go home and cut their grass. They could have just changed their schedule and went to work one hour earlier and saved us all the trouble. Nothing makes me madder than changing time to ‘save some daylight’. Just means I have to get up when it is dark so I can have a little more daylight to pretend to be doing something productive. 

And if we REALLY ‘add’ another hour on to daylight every year…why can’t we just add February 29^th every year? And how about a December 32^nd???  I don’t know about you but I would like two New Year’s Eves too..as a matter of fact I would like three December 25^th’s and at least four Thanksgivings. I already celebrate my birthday all month so I don’t see why we can’t do that with every holiday.

The whole point of this rant is …well…I can’t remember the point because I am too excited at the thought of celebrating Halloween for ten days straight. Nothing better than a reason to dress up like the Walking Dead or Marsha Brady…and while we are at it…let’s have National Chocolate day every Wednesday…then it will no longer be burdened with that awful “hump day’ nickname.

Does anybody really know what time it is? No we do not.  So I say it is 5 o’clock everywhere right now…so you are all now officially off work...

Party on… ~Squirrely Girl

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN....

Forgiving and Forgetting...

"Forgiveness is an act of the will in which a person relinquishes any "right" to get even with an offender"~unknown

Did you know that the phrase 'forgive and forget' is not in the bible at all? It talks a lot about forgiving and a lot about forgetting but it never once says ‘forgive and forget’ in the same sentence. Maybe it is a sign that as humans we are not capable of doing both of those things at the same time?  I sure hope so because it is HARD. Have you ever tried to do either one? Then you know it is no piece of cake...(chocolate cake with caramel topping and walnuts and cool whip with chocolate chips topped with ice cream and......... M & M's and.... crushed up Snickers Bars ..yuummmmm ..but I digress.). 

 Oh, it is pretty easy to say, "I forgive you because that is what Christ did for me" but somewhere--deep down inside--if you are completely honest...you know you are saying: ‘Yeah, I forgive you alright...but I can promise you this, I will Never Ever Ever Forget’!!! And maybe that's okay, maybe that is what prevents us from making the same mistakes over and over and over again. Like a built in defense mechanism to protect us from CRAZY!!! Right??

But what does the bible really say about forgiving and forgetting?

 There's a whole bushel full of verses in the bible about forgiveness. Here's your top ten countdown: 

 #1 Because we are sinners we should forgive others

Matthew 6:14-15 

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.   (uhmmm…that is pretty strong language right there..and uh…I didn’t write it…so…look it up!)

#2 Be ready to forgive over and over again

Matthew 18: 21-22 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me, up to seven times?” Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times." (Whoooaaa...seventy times seven ?? Get back Jack..that is a LOT of times ..how many times is that?? Work out the math and get back to me..but I KNOW..it is a BUNCH!!)

#3 Confess and God will forgive you for your sins

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (Confessing to anything is hard..confessing to being or doing something wrong is harder…I know this ..first hand.)

  

#4 Love will lead to forgiving others

Numbers 14:19-20 

In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” The Lord replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked.” (Love will build a bridge…in the words the Judds or in the words of one of my favorite old gospel song "You're the only bible some people read" )

#5 Priority when it comes to forgiving others

Matthew 5:23-24 

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (I might need some guidance on this one…but it pretty much sounds like if we do not forgive those who have hurt us…we can’t expect a whole lot of acceptance from God…so if we are holding a grudge or pouting..we are pretty much separating ourselves from our Heavenly Father..whew..that’s deep) 

#6 Forgive others rather than judge others

John 8:7 

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” (No commentary necessary) 

#8 Jesus is our Model

Luke 23:33-34 

When they came to a place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals – one on his right, the other on his left, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (the mega super duper example) 

#9 Jesus’ command to us

Luke 17:3-4 

So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says , ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” (There's that math problem again and even more practice for patience, mercy and grace).

  

#10 How to treat enemies

Romans 12:20 

... “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  (I am soooo not making this stuff up..seriously…check it out. It is right there in Romans 12:20...He said you gotta feed your enemy and give him something to drink. Absolutely nothing...notta...not a single thing about blowing his brains out legally by ‘standing your ground.) 

Now…If you were paying close attention, you will notice that #7 is missing. You know why? Well, I will tell you why...and here it is...

#7 A remarkable example of forgiveness

Acts 7:59-60 

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Stephen was the first known martyr for the Christian faith and he prayed and asked God to please forgive those who were stoning him to death--and then he had peace and ‘fell asleep.’   WOW…double –triple-- quadtriple- -WOW! It was  like he could not let go and leave this world until those who had harmed him …were forgiven.  Take that in for a moment…yes…take a deep breath and let that sink in for a moment or two.  He said “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit…Lord, do not hold this sin against THEM”….against THEM??? That is what Stephen was praying before he was stoned to death?? He didn’t say “look what injustice they have done…Lord I hope you are going to heap a ton of Karma on their head". He did not whine and complain to God about how he was being accused falsely and tortured, he simply prayed a selfless prayer of forgiveness for his enemy-- just as Jesus had prayed, ‘Father, forgive them’ on the cross.

 Stephen was being ‘Christ-like’.  You know …that other word for “Christian”  the one that has nothing to do with your church attendance or numbers or money or who you voted for or did not vote for? Remember that message? The Good News? Being like Jesus, acting like Jesus, encompassing the essence of Jesus? Sharing the message of love and faith, of grace and mercy and of forgiveness and maybe one day, although it seems impossible at times, we might also learn to 'forget'.  Maybe we really can overcome our human nature to recall every wrong done to us or against us by others who wear the same robe of flesh that we wear and realize we ALL make mistakes and at some point we ALL need to be forgiven. 

Jesus was the example..He lived it..He breathed it..He suffered through it…and He taught us the way and yet we still think we know better. We think if someone does us wrong we have every right to do wrong right back. That is certainly not what the bible teaches about Jesus. We think we need more and bigger and better guns to protect us from our enemies. But when Jesus was at risk of losing His life on this earth he told his disciples 'two swords is ENOUGH.' --Luke 22:38 “And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough!!!)

And when people try to convince me that it is God's will that we go into a war…all I can think about is what Jesus said  --Matthew 26:51-52-- And, behold, one of them which were with Jesus stretched out his hand, and drew his sword, and struck a servant of the high priest's, and smote off his ear. Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword".  

I am no theologian or bible scholar..but there is no way to take those strong statements out of context. Jesus' life was on the line..it would have been self-defense and more than qualify for ‘stand your ground.’ He could have called ten thousand angels…he could have have formed a mighty army, he could have done anything he wanted to do…but he came to live among men...as a man..who would face every temptation we faced and would show us how we could overcome without violence. Not only did he sacrifice his life on the cross---because it did not start there and it certainly did not end there---Jesus was teaching us a lesson about how to live, about forgiveness, about putting others before ourselves. It was the ultimate gift of love and the ultimate example of forgiveness.

And what about that whole 'forgetting' thingy...well...here is my favorite verse and I hope this is one of those things we will NEVER forget:

"Brethren, I could not myself yet to have laid hold: but one thing I do--forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before."~Philippians 3:13

Stop looking back...you are not going that way..~Squirrely Girl

Love, Life and Hershey's Kisses

I'm in the mood for love...or

Chocolate by any other name....

Valentine's Day is coming. It is right around the corner. A very good friend of mine shared that her church will be having a contemporary service called "The Sweetness of Life" where they celebrate the month of love...and 'chocolate'. I said "count me in"!! Unfortunately I had to leave before the service but the members of the church were ask to share their thoughts on the question, "What is love?"  Since I can share thoughts from just about anywhere thanks to this internet thingy and I cannot get the question out of my mind, I will share them here.

I think everyone who has come within 2 ft of me or read anything I have ever written knows I love me some chocolate. L.O.V.E. love it! I don't know why exactly, there is just something comforting about chocolate and I also read somewhere that there is some sort of caffeine in it too that makes you feel better but too much of it is bad for you. I don't believe everything I read. So I eat chocolate when I feel the need. Moderation in everything I say. (Unless you are really stressed, then throw that saying right  out the window and cuddle up with a bag of Snickers Bars.)

What is love? What does it mean to you? Well-- there is my love of chocolate, something that makes me feel better and there is my love of the Wizard of Oz that gives me illusions of grandeur --then there is another love. If you have lived long enough you have experienced it. It does not always make you feel good. Sometimes it hurts. With love comes caring and emotions and when you really and truly love someone else, if they hurt...you hurt. If they don't love you back..you hurt. If you lose them..you hurt. It is a given that anything that can bring you so much joy will have the same ability to bring you that same level of pain.  From one of my favorites:

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~Kahlil Gibran-The Prophet

And so it goes. The love of a mother for a child, love for a friend, for a husband or wife, for a boyfriend or girlfriend, or for a grandchild. There are some pretty big risks involved there. So why do we keep doing it? Why are we drawn to love? I think because it is necessary to our very being. If we believe God created us in His own image and God is love...then we are love and being 'love' we have no choice but to need to love and be loved. But that doesn't really answer the question of "what IS love?"...I think it is different for every person. 

I think I found out about true love when I was very young. I knew without a doubt that my family loved me unconditionally, so I probably took that for granted. But I really found out about the true meaning of 'love' from my older brother Dwayne. He was the second oldest in our family, born with severe birth defects, he never walked or talked, never took a bite of food that someone did not give him. Never held a spoon or a fork, never placed both twisted feet on the floor, never spoke a clear word and never contributed anything to this world other than 'being Dwayne".  But he touched more people and said more with his eyes, smiles,or frowns than most do or say in a lifetime. 

Dwayne could not change or affect his surroundings, he was dependent on those who loved him and would care for him for everything he needed his entire 24 years of life. If he was hurting from being in one position too long, he could not verbally tell us that...we had to watch him carefully, look at his eyes and see what they were saying. He could make some noises of approval and disapproval but we had to pay close attention to him to make sure he was okay. So I learned to listen...not to words spoken..but to actions.

He loved everyone and always tried to have a smile on his face, but he would get angry just like anyone else. If someone raised their voice, or he thought anyone was being mean to someone else or if an animal was being treated unkindly you could see his eyebrows rise and the look of angst in his eyes that could immediately put an end to any situation. So I learned to speak up when needed and to take up for others no matter what.

There was nothing wrong with Dwayne mentally, he was just trapped in a body that could not do the things he would have loved to do. So he felt all the emotions we felt, the frustrations, the anger and the helplessness. Some people were a little afraid of him and it was hard for them to look at someone who seemed so pitiful, deformed and different. It didn't bother him, he loved everyone because he saw them from a different perspective. So I learned to look at people in a different way and accept them for what they are not what I expect them to be. 

Most people simply 'loved' Dwayne. He could not do a thing for them, he had no money to give, no compliments or flattery, no jokes to make them laugh and not even arms capable of giving them a hug. But they loved him very much. He touched everyone in a special way who took the time to visit with him and they would never forget that experience. He changed lives, without all the words, actions, or theatrics. He changed lives and made an impression through unconditional love. Love that demands nothing in return. Open and honest love without selfish motives. It was love in its purest form. So I have seen 'love' through the eyes of my brother and once you have done that..you can never forget that we are all here to very simply--love one another. 

I am sure Mama Bess and Daddy Frank must have questioned God at some point after Dwayne was born. When he went through 6 months of nothing but severe pain and cries of anguish. But they never mentioned it to us. We thought everyone must have a special brother like our brother. One that reminded you of what true love was every day. So we all learned that every human being has a worth that cannot be measured by what they accomplish in life but by how much they love those around them.

I am so thankful that I was asked once again to remind myself of that kind of love and how very lucky I was to have experienced it at such an early age. When Dwayne passed away, there were tears of sadness but there was also a celebration of his life and my prayer is that the celebration of that simplistic, unselfish and unconditional love will be with all of you--this Valentine's Day and every day.

Love and a bag of Hershey's Kisses to you all~ Squirrely Girl

I

To Everything...Turn Turn Turn..

There Is A Season ..Turn Turn Turn..

And a time to every purpose...under heaven..

 I love the Book of Ecclesiastes and I LOVE that song. I love the way they were able to introduce a powerful message to the world through Rock n Roll. Imagine that.  Pete Seeger took King Solomon's wisdom-- word for word and only added a couple of lines--'turn turn turn" and the ending line --"I swear it's not too late"--- then put it to some music and it became a number one hit for The Byrds in 1969. I love the The Byrds too. (Not to be mistaken for my crazy suicidal kamikaze birds who once ruined a perfectly good hair day and continue to taunt the Ninja Squirrels when they fly into my house or windows ..that is documented in an earlier blog...true story ..really).

My life is about to change and I really needed to hear this song and I needed to read this scripture again. Turn...turn...turn...

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

I am leaving a job that I love very much, not by choice but because it is time and I am going to a job I love because it is time--and for that I am more than thankful. Some people work an entire lifetime and never find one job they truly love and I have loved several. I once heard some advice that I shared with some young people as a career counselor and decided to take it myself:  'find something you love to do, find a way to get someone to pay you to do it and you will never work another day in your life.'  Hey, I was just lazy enough to take that serious. I can't imagine getting up early each day and going to a job I hate (I can't imagine getting up early PERIOD) but think how miserable I would be if I had to get up early AND go to a job I hated. I would not last long. 

I am only really  good at a couple of things in life--talking and loving people. As long as I can do those two things in some combination, I am always going to be happy. Sometimes I talk through written word or through music or just running my mouth, sometimes I love people the same way. But no matter what or how--every adventure always ends up with me meeting and listening to people who bless me in more ways than I bless them. 

This will be my last blog from the comfort of my old home place for a few months. I am off to have an adventure, back on the road to play a little piano, tell a few jokes, meet some new friends and ...I am just guessing here but....probably talk to a few people. I will keep you updated as we go. It will not always be pretty...it may be a bit shocking at times...but I can promise it will always be honest and probably a little insane. My goal is to taste a different brand of chocolate across America and if I knew how to use my Smarty Pants Phone I would take a pic of it too. Maybe I will have the time now to get to know Mr. Fancy Schmancy Smarty Pants Phone and we can become friends at long last. 

Pray for us on the road, some crazy weather/ drivers out there. Pray for me as I struggle with leaving so many people I love and cherish and last but not least--pray for the Idgets in the band. They haven't heard me complain in quite some time...it will be a shock to their system. See ya on the road and maybe even in your country....let the whining begin!!!

P.S. Just think of all the interesting questions I will get across the nation. You can all help me answer them. Oh what fun we will have and what trouble we will cause! ~Sigh~ Change is good... unless it is a light bulb you can't reach... that is what I always say...

Take Care and go do something you LOVE..."I swear it's not too late"...

Later ~Squirrely Girl~

HAPPY NEW YEAR..LET'S SANG IT!!!

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot …

Maybe...Maybe Not....

Because I am a song writer (in my illusions of grandeur and a few times by trade) I have always been curious about the song “Auld Lang Syne”. Who wrote it..where did it come from..why do we all sing it every New Year’s and don’t have a clue what we are saying? So... I did a little research that makes me happy and sad.

Sad because the worst thing that can happen to a song writer is for someone to steal your song…or at the very least, steal your lyrics. Music comes pretty natural to most of my family and friends ..those who play instruments can come up with all kinds of fancy licks on a guitar or piano but when it comes to lyrics..those are special..those are words you write straight from your heart and you expose your deepest feelings to the world to be trampled, criticized and condemned. It is not easy..but if you are a writer, you have no choice. You must write. It is as necessary as breathing.

So when I found out the guy who gets credit for a song used worldwide for so many events-- like people passing out drunk on New Year’s Eve-- probably plagiarized the whole thing..it made me sad. Seems old Robert Burns admitted that he took most of the words of the song from old James Watson and  several other ‘poets’ used the same words. I guess ‘copyright infringement’ is not reserved for the 21^st century. I know all this is true because I read it in Wikipedia and we all know Wikipedia would never lie and is completely dependable.  Nobody on the internet lies or makes stuff up or exaggerates anything. Right?  All we really know for sure is that “Auld Lang Syne” means something like ‘for old times’ sake’.The reason the song makes me happy is the next to last chorus that most of us do not sing:

 "We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine.
 But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne."

I don’t know about you folks….but that little chorus right there touched my heart. It speaks of friendship and family ties ..about being there for each other during the toughest times, side by side, through the good times and the bad. It means even if we might one day be separated by miles or even in death, or disagreements--nothing will ever change that love or that friendship. True love does not wane with time or space, it is eterenal. You don’t have to work at it. I love my precious family and friends who love me despite myself. I love that some are just as lazy about our friendship as I am. Some would say we take each other for granted because we don't talk every day or even every year. That is not true. We are so sure of each other’s love that we don’t have to work at it. It never hurts my feelings if they forget a birthday or if they don’t call me for six months. Our love and friendship goes way beyond that. We are so close we can relax and take advantage of each other without ever being worried that someone will get mad.. We all have enough to worry about. We give each other the freedom to not worry and not be perfect. And that is what makes our relationships..perfect!

The reason we can do that is because we TRUST each other. We have nothing to prove to each other. We know each other's weaknesses and strengths, we know at any time or moment if we called each other up ..and said come to me, I need you..no matter how many miles away ...we would be there, either physically or spiritually.. and that is all that matters to us.

There are no perfect families or friendships. We have all let each other down at some point in our lives. And those are the only times that should be "forgotten". That is when we should let the past stay in the past and go forward. Letting go and moving on. Two of the hardest things we will ever do. But one of my favorite stories (and I don’t remember the lesson often enough) is one I found in Reader's Digest years ago when I needed it most. I am too lazy to look up it up on Wikipedia-- but it was the story of the buzzard and the hummingbird and went something like this:

 The buzzard floats on the air currents around him, passively moving with the wind in search of something dead or dying. His whole life is based on looking for the past. He searches for something that was alive but is either dead or dying. His world revolves around the suffering of others and their passing. He only sees the negative things of life and yet he thrives.

The little hummingbird propels himself through the air on his own power and is in constant search for the cactus flower. He seeks out only the sweetest nectar of life in a wasteland. He thrives on beauty and the goodness of his world. He dwells in a positive state of mind. Both are birds yet both have been designed to do what they are meant to do.

Are you a buzzard or a hummingbird?

My wish is that we all bring out more of our ‘hummingbird’ and less of our 'buzzard' this year. And I am going to start by giving old Robert Burns a break on stealing the words of the famous song from old James Watson…James should have got off his butt and turned it into a song himself so stop whining Mr. Watson..you made it into Wikipedia..what else could you possibly want? 

May we all take a cup of kindness yet..for days of Auld Lang Syne…

Happy New Year to all the nuts like me!

~Squirrely Girl 2013