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Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Wizard of Oz and Snake Boy....Or

Everything you ever need to know about life and then some..

Snake Boy and Squirrely Girl Discuss Deep Stuff

Dear Squirrely Girl,

What is the story behind your obsession with the Wizard of Oz? Why do you love that movie so much? I know I grew up with my eyes glued to scenes of computerized dinosaurs attacking porta potties and tween vampire lovers stutter through lines, but what is it about the subtlety of Oz that you cherish? What are your thoughts and feelings about the remake staring the dude who smoked a pipe in Pineapple Express? Pop a bag of popcorn and snuggle on the couch next to your dog Willy and think long and hard about this light hearted topic. Take us back to 19~cough~cough~70 something and paint us a picture of your childhood.

Signed ~
Snake boy

Dear Snake Boy,

Let me see if I can wipe the cobwebs from my brain and let the memories light the corners of my mind to remember why “The Wizard of Oz” is the biggest, bestest, super, duper, fantastical movie EVER made. You really didn’t have to kiss up by saying my childhood took place sometime in the ~cough~cough~70’s. You know I was a teen sporting the Farrah Fawcett, Charlie’s Angel’s wings’ hairdo in the 70’s. No, my obsession with the great and powerful Oz came in the wild and crazy 60’s..not sure of the year, but I was probably just learning to walk because it is my first memory. Why do I love it so? Well, I will tell you why…because….it answers almost all of life’s most important questions and teaches us lessons in both black and white AND Technicolor. Does it get any better? Plus…any movie plot centered on a pair of shoes is a winner in my book. But here are the life lessons:

Lesson 1. Family is important. And family is family, even if it is not the ‘traditional family’.  Dorothy lived with Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. We don’t know why. We don’t care. Maybe her parents died, maybe they were just on vacation, maybe they were in jail. We don’t even think about it. We know Auntie Em and Uncle Henry love her very much and she loves them.

Lesson 2. Friends and co-workers are important. Sure-- Auntie Em scolded Hickory, Hunk and Zeke when they were trying to save Dorothy from those hogs in the pig pen and pretty much called them lazy bums but she turned right around and gave them some cornbread because she knew they were looking out for her precious niece who was just about to drive her crazy with that little yelping dog. She had no idea that they would magically turn into a scarecrow, a tin man and a lion before the day was done. But she saw great potential.

Lesson 3.  Good neighbors are important. There is nothing that can make your life more miserable than a bad, ornery, neighbor who hates your pet and rides a bike or flies on a broom. Although, Auntie Em taught us that even the most evil person who might hurt our loved ones…should not be confronted with the “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth” philosophy…she said ‘For twenty years I have been wanting to tell you what I think of you..but being a Christian woman…”.. then she ran away. We all know she did that because she was about to pop a knot on old Miss Gulch’s head.

Lesson 4.  The Weather Channel is important. The entire drama could have been avoided. Really--- who runs away from home right in the middle of a major low pressure system??

Lesson 5. Being spontaneous is important. Curiosity may kill the cat but it will also get a small town girl out of the middle of nowhere and into a brand new world where good witches have incredible fashion sense and live in bubbles with munchkins who are born in bird’s nest and bad witches live in castles with a long-nosed army and flying monkeys and …wait …did you say they were re-making this movie with somebody who smoked something??? Sounds legit.

Lesson 6. Hearts, brains, courage, and home are REALLY important. Let’s face it, the whole movie sums up the most important things we should know as humans in this world. We need to have a brain to function but the ones who think they have one just keep getting in the way of the ones who actually do. We all need a heart to love and be loved but occasionally it overrides the brain and we just end up rusting in the rain, waiting for someone to come along and rescue us with an oil can. We absolutely must have courage to use either one, but no matter how brave we are..we still run in fear from the pain we cause by pulling our own tail. But maybe with a small combination of all three, we just might find our way home, where things were not perfect but people love us just the way we are.

Lesson 7: The bottom line is important. And the bottom line is this:

You can do okay on your own but the journey is much better with friends.

Family comes in all shapes and sizes but the love is the same…when you hurt they hurt so stop pulling your own tail.

Treat your employees and co-workers with respect cause you never know when you might really need them.

Our biggest enemy is not a wicked witch or lions or tigers or bears or even spooks.. it is ourselves.

People in charge are often not what they appear to be. So remember-- your favorite teacher, preacher, boss, or politician may have just floated in on a hot air balloon because they got booted from a traveling carnival where they once wore a turban on their head and talk to themselves while staring at a glass ball.

Maintain self-control-- even when you find out after the most terrifying day and night of your life that you could have just clicked your pretty little shoes together and been back in the safety of your own bed....Thanks a lot for nothing Miss bubble ridin’ sparkly dress with a crown as tall as the Eiffel Tower good yankee witch. I should knock you upside the head with this basket I have had to carry for the last twenty four hours with only that 2 minute nap in a poppy field....I digress…

And last but not least, there is nothing more fun than linking arms with some good friends and skipping while singing down a brick road. That actually takes some coordination, did you know that?

Everyone thinks the moral to this award winning epic story is there’s no place like home but it is really about making your neighbors jealous that you were the first one to get a color tv so you could really appreciate that one scene where she opens the door to the Technicolor world otherwise known as Munchkin Land. And if I had been Dorothy I would have stayed right there and took the mayor’s job and run that itsy bitsy kingdom where all the Munchkins waited on me hand and foot and fed me something chocolate with a side of Hershey’s syrup every single day.

And that, Snake Boy, is why I am obsessed with The Wizard of Oz…the limitless possibilities.

Squirrely Girl

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